The Weekend: Movies

 

I honestly haven’t been to the theater for so long that I’m actually too embarrassed to admit it. The main reason is because I was spoiled with screeners this past Oscar season so I’ve been staying in… at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I’m worried that I’m reaching a point that I never have wanted to get to - A point where going to a theater is actually more of a hassle than enjoyment. Fuck. I’m kind of not accepting that that may be the case.

It’s tough to go to movies that aren’t great and sit in a theater with people texting, people talking, occasional bad sound, over priced tickets, over priced parking, and people coughing. Am I becoming neurotic? I really hope not. I don’t want to lose my love for going to the theater more than I already have. This weekend I break my slump that I’ve been in these past few months… I. Am. Going. To. See. A. Movie.

This is what I’m (we’re) working with:

NEW RELEASES:

Project X: The “found footage” film that’s being advertised as Superbad on coke. It’s from producer Todd Phillips, who did The Hangover, and he has a certain knack for these kind of movies. This film kind of seems like an obvious choice – I’m interested. However it’s kind of getting horrible reviews, as of Friday morning it’s got a 26% rating on rotten tomatoes. Not sure if it’s going to toss me from seeing it, I sure as shit don’t think it’s going to stop the teens, early 20 year old’s, and people who are high from seeing it.

Speaking of people getting high…

The Lorax: The animated Dr. Seuss film that’s being present in 3D, IMAX 3D, 3DDDD, and every other kind of thing that isn’t 2D. Truthfully I was interested in the Lorax, it seems right up my alley in terms of feel good animation films, until my friend told me it was horrible. I had to confirm, so I went to trusty rotten tomatoes to find out what the deal is – 65% rating. Eh.

It’s funny how movie reviews work. I feel like when you really like a movie then reviews don’t matter and you tell yourself you’re smarter than people who gave it bad reviews. When you hate a movie then reviews totally matter and everyone is on tune with how you feel, and when you barely want to see anything, they also matter because if it’s a bad review you won’t go.

If you’re like me, and for some odd are reason turning into a neurotic old man who doesn’t want to sit in movies because you feel like your time is so precious that the movie better be amazing, here are other options that aren’t new releases:

Wanderlust: Movie bombed but I heard it’s good. It’s with Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd.

Safe House: Denzel and Reynolds.

The Vow: The reality is, if you haven’t already seen this you aren’t going to it this weekend. The Vow has been out for weeks now.

The Grey: Why the shit haven’t I seen this movie!? I’ve heard nothing but good things about it. One of my friends seemed as though he had to smoke a cigarette after watching it.

Tyler Perry presents a Tyler Perry movie starring Tyler Perry not as Madea with Terry Perry called a presentation by Tyler Perry featuring Tyler Perry in Good Deeds starring Tyler Perry: The age old debate that TP is the worst thing to ever happen to film or the best thing to ever happen to film rages on. He makes films for a specific culture and presses on stereotypes like he’s a racist white man… but he’s not. His movies generate huge income and he has a huge following. This is another movie that you’ve either already seen and are going back or you’re not seeing it.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance: Errr.. Nick Cage.

Act of Valor: This film killed it last week. As I’m sure you already know from the onslaught of advertisements, the film features active Navy Seals. I hear it’s kind of cool.

Journey 2: The Rock!: Okay so that’s not the actual title but Journey 2 has lost it’s audience to The Lorax.

This Means War: Chris Pine, Reece Witherspoon, and Tom Hardy. This movie flopped, what happened here? Pine is a movie star, Witherspoon was, and Hardy will be if he isn’t already.

AND:

Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie: This currently has a limited release; I saw it at Sundance and its nuts. Here’s the TRAILER. I encourage myself and anyone else to see a movie this weekend. Honestly I kind of have my sights set on Project X so I hope to have something positive to report. I’m kind of curious how they’ll pull off the found footage aspect in this. Enjoy the movie watching weekend, and remember… don’t F-ing text in a dark movie!

Channing Tatum: Movie Star?

 

I’m trying to get a gauge on Channing Tatum. This past weekend, his movie The Vow, almost snuck in first for a second week in a row, I should probably note that it not only snuck in first last week but it officially took out Denzel and Ryan Reynolds film Safe House last week. I personally think it’s a big deal when Channing “I was basically discovered for saying “I forgot my Dew”’ Tatum starts to loom in conversation with the larger figures in Hollywood.

Sure, Tatum’s movie also had Rachel McAdams as a fellow lead and The Vow is seemingly a hybrid of Dear John (Starring Tatum) and The Notebook (starring McAdams), but why do I feel like this was Tatum’s movie?

Is this guy a star? Is he the one who is brings people into the seats or is it the content of the film? I feel that Tatum should have been bigger at this point and Dear John should have done for him what The Notebook did for Ryan Gosling… or did it? As it stands now Tatum is seemingly on that fine line of where his career is going to go. I think it’s either going to skyrocket from this point or it’s always going to stand in this grey yet consistent not really a lead area.

Below is a look back at his previous films starting with Coach Carter in 05’ – I think looking at these films will shed light on where Tatum is going:

Coach Carter: Ensemble guy cast with Sam Jackson.

Supercross: Action dirt bike movie… still early in the career.

War Of The Worlds: Honestly Tatum was in this movie for about 3 seconds running from Aliens… but who cares – it’s Spielberg.

Havoc: Indie vibe with this film.

A Guide To Recognizing your Saints: Tatum’s breakout in the opinion of a lot of people. He was good.

She’s The Man: Typical rom com with Tatum attempting to be a heart throb.

Step Up: The introduction into Tatum the dancer. If women weren’t sold on his looks they were sold on the fact he could dance like a stripper… oh wait…

Battle in Seattle: What is this movie?

Step Up 2: Early cameo from Tatum reprising his role from the first Step Up.

Stop-loss: Same writer director as the academy award film “Boys Don’t Cry” – it also has a good cast but failed box office wise.

Fighting: Shirtless Tatum. People love this movie… seriously.

Public Enemies: Minor - minor - minor 10 second role in this film. Michael Mann directs it.

GI Joe: His real and only blockbuster. This film was all effects and nothing else… a feel good summer movie that in my opinion is so bad you end up watching it.

Dear John: Every woman in the world loved Tatum more than before. This is dramatic Tatum.

The Dilemma: Directed by Ron Howard starring Vince Vaughn and Kevin James. This film was a terrible flop but Tatum had a supporting role and it’s in no way his fault. His comedy wasn’t to bad.

The Son of No One: Another no idea what this movie is but it has Al Pacino in it. Who could ever blame someone for doing a Pacino film?

Ten Year: No idea what this movie was but he was a producer. It didn’t do too well and was directed by the Dear John writer.

Haywire: Steven Soderbergh directed, didn’t do too well in the box office but who the fuck cares because Soderbergh directed.

The Vow: Most recent.

The movies listed above show no evidence that Tatum is a viable go to box office guy; however what it does show is that he’s an extremely smart guy when it comes to his career for 3 major reasons:

1: He works with great directors in small roles. In War of the Worlds he basically was a featured extra but who cares it was Spielberg. In Public Enemies he was basically covered in enough make up to be a cross dresser but who cares it was Michael Mann. In The Dilemma his role was partially substantial but even better it was a Ron Howard movie. In Haywire it was an ensemble cast but that’s par for the course when dealing with Soderbergh… and it was Soderbergh!

Why does this make him a smart guy? Well it ties into…

2: He works with the same writers and directors: The Son of No One, Fighting, and A Guide to Recognizing your Saints: Same writer director. Step Up and Step Up 2: Same writer and he did a cameo in part 2. He’s doing Magic Mike, which is a Soderbergh film coming out later this year… you get the point.

Here’s why this is important – Because apparently directors really like him and will work with him again. It says a lot when someone is willing to take on smaller roles. If this were basketball he’d be called a “grinder” - the guy who really works for the points. It’s like when you go to the “networking” party trying to meet everyone and you’re uncomfortable with a drink in your hand. But in Tatum’s case he says, “fuck a drink, I’m just going to be in this movie.” Or something like that. 3: He’s trying to sculpt his resume and cover all angles of his career. Is he lover romantic guy, comedy guy, fighting guy, action guy, brooding masculine guy, dancer guy? Apparently he’s a little bit of each. I can’t remember when someone hasn’t been horrible when they tried to be the spaghetti sauce and spread themselves over genres like this.

You have to wonder if he’s going to be able to successfully pull this off, because if he will then I think you’d have to consider him a movie star at some point, right? The tough reality is: unless your name is Clooney, then box office usually determines if you’re a movie star. But Tatum seems to be floating in this middle ground where he’s (usually) in “well made” movies made by “good” people, so who cares what the box office says.

Truthfully, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Tatum but I’m starting to come around. I’m looking forward to the comedy 21 Jump Street and heard he’s great in it, and also looking forward to the new Soderbergh film.

In my quest to determine if this guy is a movie star I think the conclusion is – not yet… but he will be. He’s worked with too many people and has covered too many genres to not get a significant shot at being huge

Weekend Movies!

In honor of George Lucas bringing back the same product for the 20^th time around but just making a few tweaks I think it’s only right we discuss the movies coming out this weekend. Truthfully I would talk movies anyway but this was a good segway, and before we jump into anything else we need to discuss The Phantom Menace, which is coming out 13 years later after it’s original release.

Lets take a few steps back here because something has happened to me, as I’ve grown older…

I once was an avid Star Wars defender. Truth is I saw Star Wars late in life (my teens) but once I got it, I was in. I went with my friend Jon to the midnight showing of Phantom Menace in Wisconsin and tried to find the good in it – even Jar Jar Binks. I saw Episode 2 and defended CGI Yoda and also the casting of Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. I then went and waited in line for Episode 3 and found myself loving it the 3 times I saw it in the theater.

I was one of the guys, who overly defended Lucas for anything he was doing “wrong” like when he replaced the original Anakin in Jedi, added new scenes to the original trilogy, changed Jar Jar’s voice, and planned to re-release in 3-D (to name a few). I was on board with his excuse that what he was currently releasing was how he envisioned it all along but technology hadn’t caught up yet.

Then… Something hit me. I realized I’m under the force of Lucas and I’ve been defending things I don’t believe in. It makes no sense as to why I’d defend George Lucas. I like Star Wars for what it was and what it did. I came to terms with the fact that Lucas has been adding to something that shouldn’t change. One argument, which is totally valid, is that it’s his product and he can do what he wants. But the other argument is, which is totally valid, is that he’s fucking insecure with what he made so he keeps changing it, and can’t make anything new (and good).

Changing things to 3-D is one thing, but updating a classic is another. I’m not sure Lucas understands that people don’t want new added into the original Star Wars. It took me long enough to learn the name of the Mos Eisley Cantina on Tatooine, I don’t want to be hit with more fictitious names. If you really think about what he’s doing it’s pretty unbelievable… he’s blatantly altering it!

Worst part is… I’m going to see it again! I’m angry with myself and I’m angry I’m under the force of George Lucas and his Santa beard. I digress…

The Phantom Menace is back. It’s currently tracking to make 33 million this weekend. That’s pretty big. I wonder why Lucas didn’t start with the originals. Lucas said he’s releasing new 3-D Star Wars every 2 years. At the current rate we’re not going to get to Jedi until 2022. This just in George Lucas: in 2022 we’re going to have holograms and technology better than 3-D. But you already know that. What are you going to do to Star Wars!?

Other Movies:

I should note that this is Valentines Day weekend and the follow movies are the perfect consumer slate before the “Holiday.”

The Vow: Dear John meets The Notebook. Channing Tatum meets Rachel McAdams. What could go wrong? Nothing. Here are all possible scenarios of why you’d see this movie:

You’re a single female and you love Channing Tatum.

You’re in a relationship and you love Channing Tatum.

You’re in a relationship and you’re desperate to have sex with your girlfriend.

You’re in a relationship and the female runs the show.

You’re in high school.

You read the book.

That pretty much covers it, right?

Safe House: Denzel and Ryan Reynolds. It’s amazing how I currently feel about Denzel, he’s still the man but isn’t the draw he once was. It seems like his sweet spot is to play the Training Day/Man On Fire Guy. It’s the “Don’t fuck with me” Denzel. All in all, this movie is intriguing and in a sense is the anti-Vow. Is it the anti-Vow? I feel like this movie is perfect because women love Denzel and Ryan Reynolds.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island: I love The Rock. I really do. I wish this foray in kids movies worked out for him but they just haven’t hit.  This is the film you take your kids too when you can’t take them to The Vow or Safe House and Phantom Menace is sold out.

Movies that aren’t geared toward Valentines Day and people won’t see… but maybe should:

Rampart: Don’t know much about this movie but I hear it’s a thriller and Woody Harrelson is great in it. I’ll probably see this at some point… maybe even in the theater.

In Darkness: Another movie I don’t know much about, but it sounds somewhat interesting… maybe a bit slow. The Plot: IN DARKNESS tells the true story of Leopold Soha who risks his own life to save a dozen people from certain death. Initially only interested in his own good, the thief and burglar hides Jewish refugees for 14 months in the sewers of the Nazi-occupied town of Lvov (former Poland).

The reviews aren’t too bad and I heard the director, Agniezka Holland, is very good.

I want to give a quick “not yet a movie but almost there” shout out to two trailers that were released this week:

The Amazing Spider Man

And

The Bourne Legacy

If you haven’t checked them out I suggest you do. They’re both reboots in their own right but they both look great.

Whatever you see this weekend (if anything) just know that I may be struggling through Phantom Menace at one point or another. Fucking, George Lucas.