The Art Of Procrastination

Meet Tim. Tim’s your average 20 something guy who just got a new job doing admin work for a large bike company. One of his duties is to write a report for his company, in this case his report is to track the emergence of bike stores in a 3 city radius and if any of these bike stores are similar to his company. Tim’s initial reaction:

“Well this is boring as shit.”

A familiar reminder sneaks up on Tim, he needs a job, and the reality is the report will take about 35 minutes if he just focuses and gets his work done. 35 minutes is perfect because his game is going to start at 7:30, that gives him more than 3 hours to do this. Plenty of time to finish, grab food, and relax for the night…

4:14 – Tim sits down at his computer. Opens Microsoft Word and starts to type “Bike Stores…” Stops, changes his font to make it larger. Thinks about using bold, stops and stares at his screen – he then clicks on the little Firefox web browser at the bottom open the internet and look into new bike stores.

4:20 – Opens a website for bike stores, this website allows you to Facebook “Like” what you’re looking at. Shit, that reminds him… Facebook.

4:21 – Facebook browsing. Oh wow, Michelle uploaded new photos from last night – lets check em’ out for a minute.

22 minutes Later Tim has just looked at Steve, Michelle, Leslie, Matt, Phil, and Chris’ facebook pictures. He chimed in on 3 conversations and “liked” the movie Speed at some point in between. He’s back to reading about bike shops.

4:45 – Microsoft Word is opened and Tim is writing his first line of his first paragraph, he’s just learned about some bike shops that are growing which is perfect because this can be a key to his entire report. He’s moving, he’s on to his second… third… now forth sentence. Wait, damn. A big green line just came under his fourth sentence, it say’s he should have used a “ ; ” (semicolon) and not a ” , “ (comma) for about 2 minutes he wonders what the “ ; “ sign is anyway, and he restructures the sentence because he thinks commas make his look smarter.

4:53 – That comma threw him off. Tim is standing now, pacing, getting ready to write. But, he’s hungry and could use a snack.

4:54 – Looking through the cabinets – Not something heavy or greasy because he’s typing. Look in the fridge – then freezer – the cabinets again. Ah! Pita chips!

5:01 – Sitting back at the computer, munching on some pita chips, they’re so good. Tim reads the nutritional facts, after reading the facts they taste even better. He reclines back a bit because he doesn’t want to get crumbs on his keyboard.

5:04 – Okay ready to get back to work. He stretches and cracks both sides of his back, stares at his computer screen for a bit. Damn, he should have got water with the pita chips.

5:06 – Apple juice is sitting next to him, he decided against water. Okay, time to work on the report.

5:11 – A sound goes off on his lower right hand corner, it sounds like a bird whistle. Oh yeah! Tim signed up for Twitter last week and installed Tweetdeck on his computer, he hasn’t changed the settings yet but when he is @mentioned then he gets the noise. He opens tweet deck – Damn! Is Charlie Sheen really talking about warlocks again? Oh wait, who mentioned me? Oh, it was Phil!

5:25 – Tim finally has constructed the best 140 character retort to Phil he could think of, so funny… he hopes. Wait, can Phil sense sarcasm via twitter? Yeah of course he can.

5:31 – Redid the Phil tweet.

5:32 – Lets see what James Franco posted on yfrog.

31 minutes pass and Tim could tell you the location of Judd Apatow and Kathy Griffin. They’re 3,000 miles apart - Twitter told him. He silences his computer, no more tweet deck noises.

6:03 - Focus, okay. Looking over the Trek website, then Specialized. Tim’s getting his info he needs, starting to get into his groove but is having some problems finding certain specifics – Oh wait, his blackberry is beeping that red light… ignore it. Tim grabs his blackberry. Text from his buddy, Blake Griffin did what!?

6:10 – Youtube time. Apparently Black Griffin had some crazy dunk. Tim finds it. Holy shit, the dunk was pretty nuts. Next to the 12 second video he’s watching there is a link “LeBron James dunks” he’s just gonna watch one video.

14 minutes later it dawns on Tim that he’s not as far as he thought on his report. We’re approaching 6:30 and he’s not even half way. Okay, that’s fine. He’ll jam this out, not to mention he can miss just the first few minutes of the game.

6:24 – Tim’s stuck. No progress. Wait, what exactly is this report about? Does it even need to be in the form of a report? He wonders if he can just write back and say not enough info, and come back to it later? He’s checking.

6:32 – Damn, there is enough info, he checked. He’s wondering why he didn’t utilize the info he just looked at.

6:35 – Slight progress. Just one problem, the new JJ Abrams film released a new trailer today, he’s gotta watch it.

6:38 – That was awesome.

6:39 – Working, sort of.

6:41 – I should check my email.

For the next 28 minutes, after checking work emails and personal emails, Tim enters a mini crisis. What am I doing with myself? He realizes this isn’t even the job he wants, he should be doing something better and noble like saving the world or something. He’s wondering if he’s over reacting. Wait, Tim can work through this, he’s mentally strong enough. He remembers how much this job pays and it gives him a lot of free time. Okay, okay, he tells himself he’s okay. He just needs to do some push ups to get the blood flowing.

50 push-ups, 2 headstands, and partial yoga he once was taught, and an added 11 minutes Tim is somewhat rejuvenated. But he’s tired. He once heard that Aaron Sorkin has to shower to get his mojo going, he needs to clean off his bad energy. Good idea. Time to take a quick rinse.

7:35 – Shit! The game is just getting going and Tim is drying off. He better rush this because he’s gotta see this game, he hates to Tivo it.

7:50 – Tim has 4 paragraphs, he’s about halfway done, and his eyes are burning the clock on his computer. He’s wondering where they are in the game, and reminds himself this is a HUGE game

7:53 – A skype message pops up, Tim always keeps skype and AIM open. His next-door neighbor messaged him:

“Dude! You watching this?”

“Not yet”

“Want to come over for a beer?”

Tim knows that was the kiss of death. He evaluates where he is in his report knowing that he’s about halfway, maybe he can finish the other half after the game? Yeah, it shouldn’t take to long.

Tim heads over to his buddies, leaving his computer screen open as a constant reminder to get his work done when he returns home.

10:40 – Game is over. 4 beers consumed. Tim sits on his computer and checks out espn.com for highlights of the crazy game he just watched. He notices the small W representing Microsoft word – Damn.

In a moment of mental desperation he convinces himself that he can finish this in the morning. Even if he doesn’t finish this in the morning he’ll do it at work, it doesn’t need to be turned in until about 3, he’s about half way done so it should only take about 15 minutes. It’s the perfect plan.

A Moment of Life.

Not sure if it’s because I’m extremely tired or simply because I had a “moment” today but I wanted to take my earlier moment and flush it out. I was flipping through various radio stations on my drive this morning; currently I’m starting to find myself predominantly listening to talk radio. I don’t really care what it is. I start with ESPN radio because it’s sports, then flip to Dan Patrick (more sports) then NPR, get bored and flip to the left wing station get tired of it and flip to Glen Beck for a laugh. And it’s all just chatter then more chatter and then more of it.

Now I know what you’re thinking “dude, you’re listening to talk radio” yes but the talking on the radio is so redundant and a knee jerk reaction to scenarios that took place 3 minutes ago. We have no choice but to polarize our society because if you don’t and you’re a talk radio correspondent you’re going to be left behind. I’ve heard that the rule of talk is to either be loved or hated, there can’t be a in between. If something lands in between then you’re not opinionated enough. So I get it.

I flipped off the talk radio and cruised in traffic for about 20 more minutes in complete silence. Silence is a gift. My mind because clear and my thoughts became fluid – wow this is basic. But it’s this basic daily activity that gets overlooked and is sitting backseat to noise and activity. In my silence that I so often forget it’s there I had my moment, my moment of complete and total clarity.

Clarity that I can only control myself and how I act in this time and space, clarity that we’re all in an area that is more of a gift than anything else. Wow, how did I forget this? Even for one second I don’t think what’s around us should be overlooked, ever. What you do with it to not overlook it is up to you, I can’t say for certain what you should do, but I know what I should do.

We live in an interesting world and an even more interesting universe. We have a short period of time in the grand scheme of things and this gets so easily overlooked. From my moment I say to you - Utilize your surrounds and never underestimate your footing.

I’ll probably be listening to talk radio tomorrow.

Technology.

I think it’s safe to say that we’re past the point of talking about how fast technology is moving and we can also stop talking about the need to “accept” it for what it is and what it’s becoming. If you don’t talk about technology like that then I’m guessing you think it? If you don’t think it, that’s okay – just keep reading.

I feel as though there is this fearful stigma with technology, maybe it’s from James Cameron or maybe it’s from the actual fact that you’ve had your identity stolen several times. Maybe your bank account was hacked via paypal and you lost 99 dollars and had to change all of your passwords. If the latter is something you can relate to, I get it, but don’t forget that at the end of the day it was you that signed up for paypal, amazon, twitter, crate and barrel, any online banking… and so on. So hold yourself accountable.

That last thing to say may have been a little harsh because the reality is we can’t stop the trend and if you fight it then you’ll be left behind. The last decade and the future kind of reminds me of the end of Point Break with Swayze decides to surf the wave that’ll kill him – He knows he’s gonna die but if he misses this he’s going to regret if the rest of his life. That, and he’s running from Neo, but that’s a different story.

I think my term of technology is a little broad so let me just be obvious and say I’m talking about Social Interaction within technology and the websites it encompasses. However, social networking and social interaction are starting to blend with all things technology and vice versa. Anything thing we have can be considered “networking” or “interactive” think about all the things you have that you can mark as your “favorite” or somehow share it with someone.

I’m here to point out 3 reasons why technology and this wave we’re riding with Point Break Swayze is great or maybe terrible in reasons you may not realize. But first I should mention that it wasn’t too long ago that I was the guy who wasn’t on facebook, twitter, or any other site that allowed me to communicate. The furthest I’d go is a blog page, and I liked my privacy. I didn’t think it was necessary, I’d prefer facial interaction rather than network interaction but that all changed for reasons I can get into at another time.

Here is what I’ve realized about what technology is doing and the atmosphere it creates:

It’s like high school:

Yes, like high school, maybe not everybody’s high school but most people’s. I grew up in a small town with 1000 kids in the school, we all knew each other’s business and we all talked about it in the bubble that it was. How did this happen? Well, it was a small community of people who liked to talk and share things. Sound familiar? Because to me the majority of Social Networking is about individuals who like to talk and share things. 10 years ago (side note: wow I have been out of high school for 10 years) anyway, 10 years ago I heard gossip about my best friend kissing some girl. Now I sign on twitter and I hear gossip of Boobie Gibson talking trash about LeBron James.

First off, I don’t care but that doesn’t stop me from knowing it. And that’s how things are now. We open the door for talking and “did you hear this” we willingly open ourselves up and recreate a time that once was – that time is high school. Some of us actually even share out high school pictures with each other and let others comment. Maybe those 4 years are the most defining?

It keeps us honest:

Just had a talk with my friend the other day about this. If you’re single on facebook and trying to score with different women – good luck. And if you’re single but dating someone and their information is “private”… good luck. The area of lying has shrunk, it’s just not happening.

I’m willing to bet it’s near impossible to carry on lies with the technology we have. The significant other is so tied into everything you do that how can you get around them? Side note: If you are trying to get around them… why are you in a relationship?

It’s our new companion:

Who knows you the best? Who knows everything you do - what you read, how long you read it, what you watch, what you search… The computer.

The thing sitting in front of you may know you better than you know you which is kind of sad but it’s the way it is. We may not realize this but on lonely nights aside from comfort food the computer is the go to. It knows everything about you. This may be something very scary or very appealing however you look at it. But soon, not only will the computer and it’s components be our trusty friend it will be US.

We’ll always have the old schoolers preaching about how bad technology is and how it’s ruining interaction and truthfully they may be accurate, but whether they’re right or not there isn’t much they can do. I think the key to all things technology (and all things really) is the balance – the ying and yang. Use everything in moderation and use it to your advantage, and if you don’t… enjoy watching everyone else.

The Bodyguard!?

Word is spreading that The Bodyguard starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston is being remade. Don’t really know how to feel about this, on one hand I just can’t believe it and on the other hand I really can’t believe it. This movie may have one of the best soundtracks of all time - yes I just said that.

In honor I give you… The Bodyguard Trailer.

The next question is: Who is going to play who?

Thoughts from a dunk contest: 2011

I had the pleasure of checking out the dunk contest last night (Thank you Corey) and we saw a guy dunk two basketballs, then “three” basketballs, and then man jump car which left me walking away with a few thoughts, and maybe ideas on how to go forth.

The Thoughts:

1 - Serge Ibaka: The man from Africa who was just as much glam as he was dunk used his first dunk attempt to launch from the free throw line. He did it, and it was a legit free throw line dunk. For whatever reason I think he garnered a 45, a 45!? He jumped free throw line! The thing with the free throw line is once Jordan cocked his legs back like he’s floating he changed the visuals of it. MJ flew, and everyone else is just jumping.

If you want the 50 from free throw, you need to figure out how to soar – not jump.

2 - The glam and the glitz: Too much of it. Please show me raw dunks. I think it’s cool to have a bunch of props but it’s turning into a Hollywood movie during summertime, just show me the academy awards and be better than everyone else.

3 - The many attempts: After Nate Robinson took 45 minutes to do 1 dunk a few years ago they changed the rule to allowing the dunkers just 2 minutes. Well, 2 minutes is too long. If you nail the dunk of the first try then it’s unexpected, spontaneous, and plain awesome. Allowing someone to try over and over lets the steam from the room.

I propose the new rule! If you miss your first 2 dunk attempts you are automatically deducted 1 point, the highest you can get is a 9.

4 - The score cards need to go lower than 8. Not sure if you realized it but the cards they hand out are 8 through 10. If you suck I want to give you a 3.

5 - The 3 ball dunk: NOT A 3 BALL DUNK. It’s funny because after JaVale McGee, from the Washington Wizards, dunked 2 balls on separate hoops and took 1:30 seconds I said “I want to see him dunk 3 balls.” Then sure enough he said he was dunking 3.

He successfully dunked 2 then John Wall bounced the 3rd to him. He may call it a dunk - I call it goaltending assist from J Wall.

6 - Allowing fans to “vote”: No, stop it now. I don’t care how interactive you want it to be. This is stupid, maybe allow them to have input but leave this to the judges.

7- Cee-Lo: Wears very bright clothing.

8 - The newest Golden Child of LA: Blake Griffin. Dude is awesome, just awesome. When he made it to the final round he did a dunk that was pretty incredible. Toss of the back board, catch and stuff his forearm deep in the hoop a la’ Vince Carter 2001.

Then… he jumped the hood of a car with Baron Davis giving him the assist. Also, he brought in the Compton choir to sing an R Kelly song while he dunked. I hate to say this but I wanted to see him jump the entire car.

The car jump was spectacular don’t get me wrong but his first dunk he made was on the first attempt and no props, and that’s why it was almost more incredible. I will say this: In the final round Blake Griffin made me forget someone was even going head to head with him. He had it won 2 weeks ago.

All in all I want to see the supreme athletes do things with no assistance and no flash. Show me something I can’t think of or do on a 6 foot hoop. And although I want to see more superstars in the dunk contest (Bron) I think this was a great job to pump some life back into it.

I love All Star Weekend.