The Killers still exist...

  Once upon a time I really liked The Killers. When their first album, Hot Fuss, was released I listened to it a lot… probably too much to be honest. When their second album, Sam’s Town, was released I loved it… probably too much to be honest. But then something happened – I started to associate The Killers with someone who I basically couldn’t stand. To my inner circle these were known as my dark days, days when I first felt what a break really was… oh wait, wait, I’m getting off topic.

I suddenly couldn’t listen to The Killers for the reasons why music is awesome – I associated it with something. As much as I tried I couldn’t stand them, and then suddenly Hot Fuss started to sound a bit funny, and not in a good way. However, something great happened, I heard a new album was coming out, that album was Sawdust.

Sawdust was supposed to mean a new leaf for me. It was supposed to finally start a new Killers chapter in my life. When the album was released I listened to it in its entirety and was trying to like it, I really wanted too, but I thought it kind of sucked. Aside from the fact that it kind of wasn’t a real album but rather a compilation album the new songs weren’t all that great. For the record, I didn’t feel this way because of the poor musical association I had with them; it was because they sounded redundant. Suddenly the synth’s and whatever the hell else they use kind of irritated me. I feared that I missed my windows for enjoying The Killers while I could.

Once their next album, Day and Age, was released in 2008 I was sure I missed the window. I tried to listen and I couldn’t even get through it. My last ditch attempt to find some Killers relief was buying Brandon Flowers’ solo album (the lead singer of The Killers) and once again, I wasn’t at all impressed.

At a random moment a few months ago I asked a friend what the hell ever happened to The Killers. At this point any logical person would have just forgotten they existed, and part of me was sure they were broken up. My friend said he had no idea. Well, lo and behold… The Killers exist.

This was a message I received from my buddy earlier today:

I guess they have a new album coming out. What the fuck?

He then sent me the link to their first single from their album Battle Born, it’s called Runaways and you can listen to it via the video below.

Apparently this song has been in the world for almost eight months. A younger version of me would have been all over this song, but I’m keeping my distance. Having said that… I really hope they regain form to their earlier days (if that’s even possible).

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LOeImx0kW4&w=560&h=315]

Bieber

Don’t ask how, don’t ask why, but I just listened to the new Justin Bieber song that debuted the other night and here’s the quick take away:

- It’s under 3 minutes, which means if you listen to pop radio you’ll hear this song approximately 1.7 million times between this very moment and some time in August. If you have a daughter then you’ll hear this song 1.8 million times in that same time period.

- It sounds very similar to Timberland / Justin Timberlake collaboration – which is a very good thing for Bieber.

- I’m not saying that I’m going to listen to Bieber’s new album nor do I know much about it but I’m guessing there’s going to a potential rap song based off of this song, or some kind of Clipse / Timberlake - esque connection (courtesy of Timberland).

- Sounds like Bieber took that inevitable jump from kid pop to older teen pop. Fortunately for him older teen pop also works for everyone younger than older teen.

- This is Bieber’s world we’re all just living in it.

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoFXbt2tfbU&w=480&h=360]

 

Music Observations From Pop Radio.

I’ve been driving a car that has a broken radio. It plays about 3 stations that are clear, lacks AM talk radio, and has no input for ipods or CD’s. The 3 stations it plays are 2 pop stations, 1 with Ryan Seacrest – the other with Carson Daly. And then a classic rock station that seemingly plays more commercials than music.Long story short – I listen to a lot of “Pop” radio.

Pop radio stations translates to the obvious – Pop Culture everything. It also means that I’ve been listening to the same 5 songs on repeat for a few months… It’s like shampooing – Lather, rinse, repeat.

I’ve picked up a few things on my drives to work, here they are:

- The two most played songs are easily: Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris - We Found Love and David Guetta Ft. Usher - Without You. These two songs are interesting because they’re both so similar. Both very electronic dance with a total of about 20 combined words.

I wonder if these songs are a segway into something bigger and this feel of music becoming more mainstream? I’ve always felt the electro indie vibe was more of a world/party/remix thing that never hits the pop charts. Slap two pop stars in the middle, keep repeating the title of the song 30 times over, have a good beat, and you’ve got yourself a hit. Seriously… this is going to be something bigger.

- LMFAO has 2 songs; Party Rock and Sexy and I Know It. I can listen to Party Rock more than I’d like to admit and I’m curious as to where this group is going to go in the future. I don’t know how diverse they are, but I don’t think it matters.

- I don’t want to hear “Moves Like Jagger” any more… And I don’t think having his moves is something to brag about anyway.

- I’m kind of sick of Adele, even though I love her voice.

- I can’t fucking believe Now that’s what I call Music: 40 is available. Yes… 40!

- J-Lo still thinks she’s the J-Lo of old.

- In the Dark by Dev: Something tells me someone somewhere was looking for Ke$ha 2.0 and thought this was her. But come on, is there ever going to be Ke$ha 2.0? Dev has this part in her song where she says; “Do the Cataracts” which may quite possibly be the most forced part of any song in 2011. It’s as if she was hoping something would catch on… maybe it did.

- Pop “hip hop” that’s on the radio is close to terrible.

- Jason Derulo has to stop saying his name in his own songs.

- If the pop station has played it’s top 5 songs – when in doubt play something from the mid 90’s.

I’m not sure what the rotation is on the top 5 songs when it comes to pop radio but I have a feeling it’s about 3 months. If I’m not going to be on the cell phone or thinking in silence then it appears that I am willingly going to listen to the same songs over and over until I’m so sick of them that I want even more. I suggest everyone give this a shot one-morning… turn on Kiis FM and don’t look back.

Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

Anatomy of a 2.7 mile drive - Saved By The Bell

If you’re complaining about traffic in Los Angeles you might as well ask for a diet coke with your massive piece of cake because you’re on a diet. But, let me complain for a second –

Sometimes while driving in Los Angeles I feel as though we’re in season 7 of LOST. You know, it was the time travel season that was confusing even for the die-hards like myself. You’re trying to wrap your head around one thing but while that’s happening another thing starts happening which makes you question the things that happened before the first thing. Yes, that’s traffic.

In this case I was at work in Santa Monica, I was asked to drop something off to a location, which was 2.7 miles away. Initial thought: 2.7 miles isn’t bad… this should probably take 20 minutes with traffic. A moment later I knew I should maybe add on 10 minutes because 20 minutes to drop something off may be on the optimistic side… But I can do it.

I leave my office and as I do I hear someone mention the show Franklin And Bash starring Mark Paul Gosselaar and Breckin Meyer. Can’t say that I’ve ever seen it. I head to my parking structure and approach my car which currently does not have working air conditioning, nor does it have a working passenger side window (Don’t judge me, we’re not talking about the car). Its hot, very hot, but no worries – its only 2.7 miles.


Above is the Key to this whole driving equation.

1:20pm
POINT A: My starting point. To NUMBER 1: Head down 4th and Wilshire to 8th and Wilshire and take a right, 4 blocks.

It’s so hot I’m in that catatonic stare of trying to be calm and going with the flow. Maybe my calm demeanor will help flow of traffic. As I sit at a light on 6th street I start to wonder why I haven’t seen Franklin and Bash?

What was the last thing I’ve seen Mark Paul Gosselaar in? Was it the show about him being a lawyer when he had long hair? Wait… no… it was on Jimmy Kimmell when he was trying to get the Saved By the Bell cast back together. Why is there so much traffic? Dammit, I hope it’s not like this the entire way.

The single thought of MPG trying to get the cast of SBTB back together opened the floodgates to a few thoughts and questions I have pondered for a very long time. It’s time to rehash Saved By The Bell.

NUMBERS 1 to 2: On Lincoln Blvd. What was up with Miss. Bliss?

Remember that first season of Saved by the Bell when Miss Bliss was the go to teacher? Before Wikipedia I could never figure this out… were they in Junior High? Who was Zack’s best friend Mikey, who was the chick Nikki, and what was up with the janitor Milo? How did they ever justify jumping from this time period to current day Bayside High?

The worst and best part about this season is that I actually liked Miss Bliss. If my emotional state serves me correctly, I think I wanted a teacher like her - Giving leeway to the students, being their best friend, and constantly dropping knowledge like Yoda (A moment of silence for Miss Bliss).

1:25pm
I’m on Santa Monica Blvd. Between NUMBERS 2 to 3: What was up with The Max? And what was his last name?

So let me get this straight, a magician owns a restaurant named after himself? Cool. But seriously, what was up with this guy. Being older now I realize he was kind of creepy. He took an active interest in the lives of a bunch of kids and hooked them up with free food from time to time.

The guy had a restaurant that was a teenagers wet dream. It was colorful like the 90’s, had a really cool door, and seemingly always roped off the same booth for the crew. It even left space for AC slater to sit backwards on a chair… which reminds me… AC Slater and the crew!

1:31pm
Between NUMBERS 3 to 4. I hate you traffic - it’s hot. But that’s okay because I can think about: The Crew Of Characters.

Kelly Kapowski: Zack’s main squeeze, it was true love from the get go – he even had a cardboard cut out of Kelly on the volleyball team that magically came down from his ceiling.

AC Slater: The meathead that would one day host Extra. But forget the meathead stuff for now because he knew ballet, challenged Zack and called people Mama’, that person being Jessica Spano.

Jessie Spano: Long legs, one day we’d see her naked in Showgirls.

Lisa Turtle: Who was the last character ever to be on a show with the last name of a reptile. Maybe with the exception of Johnny Snake, the card swindler from the hit show - “Shuffling Vegas” (I just made up this show and character, the heat is killing me, someone please make “Shuffling Vegas”.

Screeeeech: I imagine a 1990 conversation with this guy to go a little something like this:

Me: Yo dude, in the 2000’s you’re going to be living in Kenosha Wisconsin doing stand-up talking about how much you hate Saved By the Bell. You’re going to write a tell-all book from the nothingness that’s going on backstage. OH! You’re going to have a porno too.

Him: Wait, what’s a porno?

Zack Morris: The coolest kid ever.

Mr. Belding: Sort of the Miss Bliss, even though he was on the show during the Miss Bliss era. Who cares, he brought it all together.

1:39pm
Between NUMBERS 4 to 5: The Zack Attack and the greatest Musicians that never were.

Lets just be honest, these guys killed it with “Friends Forever”. Once SBTB opened the can of worms that was “Oh, these guys can sing!?” All bets were off. I have a feeling that some exec really wanted to stress the talents of these kids, then suck their talents dry by releasing a CD, and by god they did. But lets just be clear, the only one who really seemed to have the talent was AC Slater on the drums.

On this musical note, this show also featured one of the all time cheesiest Alternate Universe moments when Zack fell asleep before band practice and imagined Zack Attack getting big –

Casey Kesem was the special guest of the show and he chronicled the rise and fall of the Zack Attack. Ego’s got the better of them but in the end… they had a reunion tour, which I imagine, generated something like 1 billion dollars.

I’m sort of really hot right now. I’m sweating, and wondering why smog and other fumes are seeping into my car. Starting to get a bit squeamish and antsy. But it’s okay because…

1:44pm
Between NUMBERS 5 to 6. What was up with the love triangles?

There was a lot of passing off of each other and minor break-ups; as a matter of fact I think the major break up was when Kelly dumped Zack. If I remember correctly cool college guy Jeff who was managing the Max (where was Max?) started to take a liking to Kelly.

Quick side note: Jeff also caused problems for Jonny Rico in Starship Troopers.

Anyway, in one of the greatest break ups that featured Slater and Jessie singing a Michael Bolton duet at the school dance, Kelly told Zack it was over as they sat on a picnic table then slow danced they’re asses off.

Anyway… let me try and break all of this inner loving greatness down.

Zack dated Kelly.
Kelly broke up with Zack for Jeff.
Kelly had a stint with AC Slater.
AC loved Spano.
Spano was that annoying girl who really only dated AC.
AC had a thing for Kelly.
Kelly strung along AC.
Screech loved Lisa.
Zack once made out with Lisa.
Lisa loved everyone but Screech.
Screech actually then loved Violette Bickerstaff. OH MY GOD, Violette, played by Tori Spelling.
Zack had a stint with Jessie.
Lisa ultimately gave Screech a shot.

Assuming everyone slept with everyone… like I do…. That means everyone slept with everyone.

We’re leaving out one very key figure here… Tori. No, not Tori Spelling, but Tori, the badass biker chick that was the biggest question mark for any show…

1:58pm.
Minimal car movement. Between NUMBERS 6 to 7. Who the hell was Tori, and where did she go?

Okay Tori, what were you doing at Bayside High? Didn’t you arrived senior year but somehow you didn’t graduate with Kelly or Jessie but we also saw Kelly and Jessie graduate. This has always confused me and I tried to put the pieces together. I would like to sit down with someone to have him or her really explain this to me because my Wikipedia answers aren’t good enough.

Where is Tori today? Do I really care? Yes and no – part of me wants this to be a question mark until I die.

2:03pm
Between NUMBERS 7 to 8. The time they were at the beach.

Remember that one time when Lisa’s Aunt got them jobs at the Malibu Sands Beach club? Their manager was Stacy Carosi, played by Leah Remini. Carosi was an east coaster and she didn’t like the “California style” that was Zack and the crew. But of course, this didn’t stop Zack - it actually fueled him.

The summer at the beach was a great departure from the standard antics at Bayside High and ended in a moment on the beach with Zack and Stacy kissing under the fireworks. Any teen shows in the future should take note of this tactic… although most have.

2:10pm
Between NUMBERS 8 to 9. I’m almost there but I wander and begin to think of – The Weed Episode.

Who can ever forget Johnny Dakota and the infamous “There’s No Hope With Dope” episode. Not me. Zack and the crew were basically pressured to smoke from a movie star who was falsely promoting a non-dope policy. In the end the crew prevails but I can’t help but think that this is crap… come on, it’s Johnny Dakota.

Also, this was the famous Brandon Tartikoff episode (RIP).

It’s good to remember this episode.

It’s been about 45 min in Los Angeles traffic and I just turned down my street - almost there. I may have set the record for longest drive ever but that’s to be expected at this point. I’ve passed about 30 different construction sites and red lights and whatever else. I know it seems hard to believe a human being can be in a car this long for such a short drive but sometimes this sort of thing happens in Los Angeles. Seriously.

As I’m speeding to my location and before I get there I flash through everything

2:13 
Between NUMBERS 9 to 10. Everything else.

So many questions and things to ponder…

- How did Screech ever fall for Zack as the Russian in the chess championships?
- Where did the full music video go from the epic “I’m so Excited Jessie Spano on speed” episode?
- Who was that one “actor” who replaced Max at The Max?
- Why didn’t AC just give away his Raider tickets when he and Jesse were fighting, rather than tear them up?
- Was there a Zack Morris at Valley High?
- I want a Buddy Band.
- I want Love Cuffs.
- Wasn’t there a toga party episode?
- I can’t believe I watched the spin off of this show.
- Did this show invent the “window to climb out of in your bedroom” trick to make all teen shows cool?
- Why did Zack have such bad coordination when dancing yet he was a musician and an athlete?
- Did the College Years have the greatest or worst opening song ever?

2:14pm
Arrived. 10 to B (My destination) I leave my car with a sweaty back, drop off what I need to drop off. It’s one of those anti climactic drop offs where you’ve been through a lot but the other person doesn’t care, and part of you is wishing someone anywhere invited you in for a drink.

30 seconds pass and I’m back in my car… Hopefully traffic isn’t as bad on my way home.

The State of Hip Hop ... sort of.

Every once in a while I’ll have a conversation with a friend about the state of hip-hop and how I feel that it’s no good. And before I jump into this rant I think I should mention that I’m a white kid from the Midwest. If you didn’t just click off this page it either means you’re also white… From the Midwest… Or you are holding something in your hand and can’t click away. Point that I’m trying to get at here is that hip-hop (rap) isn’t always associated to people like me, although I would argue it is, but that’s a different story.

As I was saying hip-hop as I know it has kind of faded away, I was in college and high school during the birth of such superstars like Jay-Z, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, 50cent, and Eminem. These were the guys that really got me into liking rap, actually I loved it, but as years went on my music preferences changed and I occasionally dabbled in the hip-hop but not nearly as much as when I was a teen.

I was trying to figure out why my interests has faded with rap, was it because I was a lame adolescence who thought he was cool and secretly wanted to be a rapper… yes. OR was it because rap music at that time was just starting to really seep into pop culture, especially when Jay-Z released Hard Knock life with the Annie sample, and I’m actually a product of pop culture, …. Yes to this too.

Rap 10 years ago was the perfect storm. As far as I know, rap was just seeping into the mainstream and affecting the likes of people like me. Also, it didn’t hurt that this was the primetime of Napster and Limewire so attaining free music was getting easy. Since that moment rap entered mainstream and hasn’t really settled down. It’s flourished and has been reproduced time and time again.

It’s not uncommon to hear Ludacris on a track with Justin Bieber or Snoop Dogg with Katie Perry, that’s just the state we’re in. And let me be clear that I actually kind of like this state. I think from a financial standpoint it’s good for both parties, but for street cred not so much.

So where are we with rap? Is this mainstream rap still considered rap, or is it a saturated version of it? You know when there was just “Rock” then we had all these hybrids of it ie: “punk rock” “indie rock” “pop rock” “grunge rock” etc… Well, that’s kind of how I think rap is now.

Is rap, hip-hop? Are the not so mainstream under grounders pissed about what has happened with rap? And do those up and coming underground rappers disrespect the big guys for being on tracks with teen pop stars? I actually don’t know. But I do think it puts the underground hip-hop stars in a very tough position –

First: If they’re all about image and their idol, lets say a member from Wu Tang, is on a track with Bieber (true story) then what does that do to the image of their idol?

Secondly: Their idols are bringing in a ton of cash by doing these pop collaborations, and cash is the ultimate goal, right?

Third: Since cash is king, the underground star knows they’d sell out too, if it is in fact selling out.

Does it take someone selling out to put his or her name on the map? No, it doesn’t. But lets bring this full circle to the conversations I have with my friend - I always argue that there are no good up and comers, where he says there are. To his credit, he listens to a lot more mix tapes, and I’m a mainstream type of person.

But I think that to break into the limelight of the rap game it’s become increasingly difficult and unless you sell out or market yourself, probably the opposite direction of what you are, you’re not making money. Where is the new breed of rappers? I asked my buddy and said “there are none” he disagreed, and then this week Forbes listed hip hop’s top money makers and I think I proved my point even more.

Out of 20 only 6 are “fresh” to the scene. Looking at this list makes me wonder if it’s impossible to make an empire anymore if you’re an up and comer? You have to be able to, right? What is the below list doing differently than anyone else? Let’s break this down, and look at the top moneymakers and WHY they’re the top moneymakers…

1. Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter, $37 million: He’s said it himself. He’s not a businessman; he’s a business, man. He really is a business. Dude owns a lot. But lets focus on his music for a second, he still puts out some of the best tracks each year. Is this because he’s top dog in the rap game and everyone wants to give him his or her best beats… yes.

2. Sean “Diddy” Combs, $35 million: Puff Daddy hasn’t been in a song since he made a grunting noise in an album probably made in 04. But, Diddy is also a business. He’s been around for god knows how long.

3. Kanye West, $16 million: I wouldn’t consider Kanye new to the game but he’s Kanye. Aside from his ego and questionable antics (which I don’t question) he still has the best beats and ehhh, good verses.

4. Dwayne “Lil Wayne” Carter, $15 million (tie): I can’t believe this guy was on Nelly’s first album, by the way, where is Nelly?

4. Bryan “Birdman” Williams, $15 million (tie): Who, what the – yes, that’s right. Birdman. Yes, I also thought he was playing scrabble with Master P somewhere but apparently he’s raking in money. Not from making music himself but rather from signing the likes of Lil Wayne, Drake, and Nicki Minaj.

6. Marshall “Eminem” Mathers, $14 million (tie): Not much needs to be said about him, when Eminem is good, he’s great. When he’s bad, he sucks and keeps talking about his mom.

6. Andre “Dr. Dre” Young, $14 million (tie): Lets be honest, he makes questionable music now. But he rakes in money due to good investments ie: Eminem and 50 Cent.

6. Calvin “Snoop Dogg” Broadus, $14 million (tie): He’s a legend. He doesn’t age. He smokes more pot than anyone I know, even though I don’t know him, I just feel like I do.

That’s 8 “rappers” in the game that I just went through that have been doing it for almost 20 years. When I saw this list I was thinking that either we don’t get good music from the new guys OR it’s just that hard to amass this amount of money. I’m not sure, but in fairness, the above list generates this much mostly based off of reputation, right?

9. Aliuane “Akon” Thiam, $13 million: Akon is like the R&B Nate Dogg. He’s sort of new to this.

10. Christopher “Ludacris” Bridges, $12 million: Huh!? Ludacris. What the hell have you released? Ohhh, you made your money from endorsements? But seriously, what’s up with this list, this is ridiculous.

11. Cameron “Wiz Khalifa” Thomaz, $11 million (tie): This guy had that song Black and Yellow. So he’s new to this whole thing. And you have to hand it to him – apparently he tours all the time and is also one of Pittsburgh’s best rappers… so I’ve heard.

11. Aubrey “Drake” Graham, $11 million (tie): Drake, this guy just gets it. His money has come from endorsements.

13. Pharrell Williams, $10 million: WHAT!? Dude, I haven’t heard you on a track since… um… that one time we used to bump the Neptunes and drink a lot. How is Pharrell on this list? Because he has a deal with Rocawear (Jay-Z’s clothing label) - That’s how.

14. Timothy “Timbaland” Mosley, $7 million: Timberland and Magoo… I remember he released this one song that sampled the Spiderman beat - it’s completely underrated.

15. Kasseem “Swizz Beatz” Dean, $6.5 million (tie): Uber producer. Married to Alicia Keys, doing since he’s been 16.

15. Onika “Nicki Minaj” Maraj, $6.5 million (tie): Okay. Finally. I think right here is the first person to actually earn their way on this list. By the way, she’s the first female on this list. I honestly think Nicki Minaj has earned this position and I think is the perfect example of how to succeed in current day hip hop.

She’s got a persona, she’s marketable, has catchy songs, and she works hard.

17. William “Rick Ross” Roberts, $6 million (tie): No idea how he got here. Good for him.

17. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, $6 million (tie): Looking at this it’s like looking at Ludacris. This list is jacked up; 50cent hasn’t been on or in anything since that collaboration video with the little white kid on youtube.

17. Armando “Pitbull” Perez, $6 million (tie): I like this guy, and I think he earned his way here. Good for him.

20. Faheem “T-Pain” Najm, $5 million (tie): Auto-Tuuuuune.

20. Bobby “B.o.B” Simmons, Jr., $5 million (tie): We round out with this guy, who is best known for “Airplanes”. I think B.o.B. is also a good example of where we are in the current state of rap, I don’t seem him doing many endorsements (which he probably is) but he’s talented, and is sort of poppy.

So, what does this tell you? It tells me that if you want to get in the top 20 of earnings as a rapper you either need to sell out or have a game plan that will change the game. You better be different. I don’t like this list at all because lets be honest – these people aren’t top earners because of tours and they’re music. They’re top earners due to endorsements.

I called my friend and told him about this list and he replied with – “But yeah, they were underground at one point.” Wow, that was the stump card. He said…

“Josh this isn’t just hip hop, it’s all businesses. (no duh) Everyone on that list is smart, give it 10 years and there will be new people, trust me, there’s good rappers out there.”

I believe him but part of me feels like the majority of the above list came into the game at the right time. They made it where it is today and they’ve made the most, rightfully so. Have they altered hip-hop to make it insanely profitable? I guess to be successful in hip hop is like anything else…

Put out a good product, attach yourself to good people, attach yourself to corporations, embrace pop culture, and watch the money pile up. It sucks because like most art forms that the masses want, you have to sell out before you can be original.

Good luck up and comers.

Justin Timberlake

Today may be Harry Potter day but I thought I’d take a minute and discuss another former boy bander - Justin Timberlake (Yes, I know Daniel Radcliffe wasn’t in a band but he was on Broadway, so that may count as something) and the fact that he may be moving into leading man territory next week when he opens Friends With Benefits.

Next week marks a significant time in Timberlake’s acting career, he’s opening a movie as the lead male actor. “Who cares?” you may say… Well, I care, I say. Today when I saw the big billboard with Timberlake trying to look like the friend next door across from Mila Kunis (more on her in a minute) I asked if I was ready for him. Hollywood clearly is taking the musician JT paired up with the “Holy Shit is Timberlake really in a David Fincher film” steam and putting him in a movie that Ashton Kutcher is born to play… No Strings Attached reference.

I needed to do some reflection and ask if I had any beef with JT, no. I actually really like his music, and when he had dyed curly blonde hair I secretly liked some of his poppy NSYNC music. So why am I questioning this? Well, it’s because I hadn’t accepted JT the actor quite yet. Although he’s been in close to 10 films I still always pictured him as a performer on SNL, in digital shorts, singing on the ESPY’s, and looking at Janet’s boob.

So let me do what I’m best at, and that’s break down scenarios that not need to be broken down, thus essentially laying out what’s going to happen with JT’s career post next week. As I see it, 1 of 3 things will happen:

Scenario 1: Best Case Scenario

The movie opens to good reviews, and not only does the movie open to good reviews but Timberlake has good reviews, and especially with his Kunis chemistry. Along with the good reviews the movie makes roughly 30 million and thus gives insta solidification to the idea that JT can be leading man in a movie.

From here he does a few more films with solid directors (next film is with Andrew Niccol aka a great director) and then re-enters leading man role in a comedy, then eventually moves to serious.

In this best-case scenario he takes on the career of former musicians turned actors: Frank Sinatra, Mark Wahlberg, and Will Smith. JT will one day look back at the time when he was second fiddle and occasionally dabble back in music making him the ultimate double threat to music and film. Of course he will produce, direct, and probably write something in the future.

The Big Ol’ Asterisk of this Best Case Scenario: Today is Harry Potter day and it doesn’t seem like this train is slowing down. On top of that, Potter has competition in the form of Captain America, which opens along with Friends with Benefits. What this means is JT’s movie is going to open at #3… that’s right, 3.

Opening Friends with Benefits is some kind of brilliance or a blatant slap saying “Hey we know you aren’t going to open #1 at the box office so we’ll just throw you into the mix of the 2 biggest movies of the summer.” Either way the best case is that this movie opens at #3 with 30 million.

Last thing on this – if it does open to 30 million then that means this weekend will most likely be one of the biggest opening weekends ever. Best Case.

Scenario 2: Worst Case Scenario

The movie opens to poor reviews and totally bombs. We hear that JT can’t open a movie and the in film chemistry is on par to Madonna and Banderas in Evita. The movie opens with 8 million and falls behind Potter, Captain America, this week’s Winnie the Pooh, and next week’s indie sleep Another Earth.

We all make jokes about this movie but ultimately wipe it from our memories and Timberlake needs to continuously take on rolls in the supporting world, makes another (good) album, and goes back to SNL to save face. His career would mirror former musician turned actors: Henry Rollins, Lance Bass, Bon Jovi, and Sting.

We will only see JT as a supporting role.

Scenario 3: Most Probable Scenario

The movie opens to mild reviews, as does JT’s acting performance. The movie generates roughly 20 million (very respectable) and still opens behind Potter and America. The catch with this scenario is that we can’t really get a gauge on what JT can do and is capable of – the thinking is as followed:

“He opened a movie during the heart of the summer and still managed to pull 20 million. We think we can still bank on him so lets toss him in another romantic comedy and see how he does… Um, who is available… Jennifer Aniston?”

This scenario is open ended because we don’t know what will happen, and this is precisely why this is genius to open this movie on this day. It’s a lock to make some money but if it doesn’t we can blame so many other factors.

JT will get many more opportunities to prove himself and eventually re-assert himself in the leading man role. For a while he’ll be like other musician turned actors: David Bowie, Ice Cube, LL Cool J, and Mos Def. But he’ll eventually come into his own.

One of the above will happen next week; we just need to wait on the reviews.

Final few things about JT – He’s doing his best to define himself as himself and move away from the musician of it all. I don’t know if it’s just me but I always find the “musician turned actor” less believable unless you’re the minority in Marky Mark, The Fresh Price, and Old Blue Eyes. So I need to respect what’s happening here in his career, because up until now he hasn’t really done anything too commercial (and yes I know he was in The Social Network).

JT surrounds himself with good people. Will Gluck directs Friends with Benefits who did the hit Easy A, and he’s paired with rising star Kunis. Mila basically has everything going for her right now – Black Swan, Sarah Marshall, Family Guy, Denzel movie nobody saw, and she dated Macaulay Culkin… Come on.

Lastly, he’s no fool. He clearly knows what he’s doing and makes very educated decisions about his next step in his career and apparently he’s good at what he’s doing. The simple fact that he was in The Social Network gives him actor street cred immediately. But that’s the thing with JT, we’ve only seen snippets of him, not a full 90 minutes of him… at least not yet.

So, next week, as you go see Harry Potter for the second time or check out Captain America just remember that the musical George Clooney (tons of chicks, isn’t slowing down) is going to open his first film and this will be the spark as to what will happen next. Although I’m nowhere close to sold on JT, I actually have faith that he’s going to do a great job and we’ll one day forget that he was a singer… until he does his Sinatra comeback tour.

The Bodyguard!?

Word is spreading that The Bodyguard starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston is being remade. Don’t really know how to feel about this, on one hand I just can’t believe it and on the other hand I really can’t believe it. This movie may have one of the best soundtracks of all time - yes I just said that.

In honor I give you… The Bodyguard Trailer.

The next question is: Who is going to play who?

A Little Diddy About Age.

Dammit! It happened. I’ve always wondered how I’d know that I was aging. I’ve managed to ignore the typical old age stereotypes, hoping I was more Ben Button with Brad Pitt rather than Jack with Robin Williams. But, yesterday it happened.

I was driving and listening to LA’s oldie station, K-earth 101 with Shotgun Tom Kelly when he pumped me up with a full hour of commercial free music. Perfect I thought, trusty oldies I can always rely on you. He gave the traffic report… weather report… few lame jokes… and then… thank God, it’s music time.

The music started, the first few seconds sounded awfully familiar and then I heard the words: “A little diddy about Jack and Diane”

Wait… Huh? Did I change the station? No, I didn’t. John Cougar Mellencamp was on the oldies station. Is this right? I saw this guy at Summerfest in Milwaukee, Wisconsin one year when I was a teenager. I’m still calling him by his 3 part name, isn’t he just John Mellencamp now?

Either way it happened, I must accept this and move forward. I told my girlfriend and she was casual about it, she went on to tell me she heard The New Kids On The Block on the same station. Bring it on Shotgun, oldies are no more, I welcome the nostalgic music and am fully prepared for this next chapter of my life. I’m not happy about it but I’m not sure I can change it. Time, you’ve done it again.

Friday Lyrics: 2012 by Jay Sean

This guy is channeling his inner Mayan. I was wondering when someone would try to replicate a Prince-esque “Party like it’s 1999” song, and this guy is sort of doing it. This song is just so weird I had to post the lyrics. Maybe it’s not that it’s weird but it’s just funny to read the lyrics sans music.

Apparently this is a pretty popular song. I give you “2012” Jay Sean ft. Nikki Minaj - enjoy them trying to remind us that we should party like it’s 2012!!

link to listen RIGHT HERE

Ohh ohh 2-0-1-2 ohh-yeah
It’s alright, Oh It’s alright
You’d know what they say
Life ain’t always easy everyday
With five us so forget a day
It all about tonight at the school start
A riot a-riot be red ohh
Bottle poppin til we cant stand
We keep rockn til 6 am

New York to london over to Japan
Turn it up .. Turn It Up..
Mash it up
We gonna party like
Party like
Like its the end of the world
We gonna party like
Like it’s 2012
You Know that it doesn’t matter
As long as we got each other

Turn it up.. Turn it up ..
Mash it up
It ain’t the end of the world
Ohhhhhhhhhhh
We gonna live like it’s the end of the world
We gonna party like
Ohhhhhhhhhhh
Turn it up…
Turn it up…
Match it up
It ain’t the end of the world

[Nicki Minaj]

Simile’s, metaphors and we pop pills
Sick flow inundated with the doc bills
Work hard, now we know how to top bills
In the middle of the street doing cartwheels
Lot of them tryna do it but its not real
Wasn’t a rapper then I coulda got a pop deal
White clothes in a hot pink hot wheels
Lot of bottles and a lot of booty cocktails
Uh, days of our lives
You wink it goes by
So we’ll just get it with no edison
Jay Sean 2012 lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/jay-sean-2012-lyrics.html

Anything goes so no time for closed minds
And free my lil weezy
And lets just get right
Young Money, Cash Money in the building
Lets go the World ends tonight

Have a drink with me and let make tonight
Go down In history..
In history
Yeahh
Lets make belive its the last 24 hours
And this whole world is ours eternally, eternally (hey)

Heyyyyy bottle poppin til we cant stand
We keep rockn til 6 am New York

New york to london over to Japan
Turn it up ..
Turn It Up..
Match it up
We gonna party like
Party Night like, like it’s the end of the world
We gonna party night like it’s 2012
You Know that it doesn’t matter as long as we got each other

Turn it up.. Turn it up ..
Match it up It ain’t the end of the world ohhhhhhhhhhh

(nooo)
No im not gonna follow
Anything that they say anymore
And its never too late to start again
So lets start it with right here and right now

Party like, likes its the end of the world
We gonna party like, like its 2012
You know that it doesn’t matter as long as we got each other
Turn it up turn it up mash it up
It aint the end of the world
(ohh)
We gunna live like its the end of the world
Gunna party like
(ohh)
Turn it up turn it up mash it up
It aint the end of the world..

Friday Lyrics: Like a G6

This song is so great yet not all at the same time. When I listen to it I want have fun but I don’t want to listen to it…but I want to have fun? The group “Far East Movement” seemingly shot out of nowhere with this song, I’ve heard it on the radio 627 times, yet I never knew what they were saying. Once again, a strong beat makes up for a song about nothing.

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvgJEznqtms

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Verse 1

Gimme that Mo-Moet
Gimme that Cry-Crystal
Ladies love my style, at my table gettin wild
Get them bottles poppin, we get that drip and that drop
Now give me 2 more bottles cuz you know it don’t stop

(808) Hell Yeaa
Drink it up, drink-drink it up,
When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk
They be actin like they drunk, actin-actin like they drunk
When sober girls around me actin-actin like they drunk

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Verse 2

Sippin on, sippin on sizz, Ima ma-make it fizz
Girl i keep it gangsta, poppin bottles at the crib
This is how we live, every single night
Take that bottle to the head, and let me see you fly

(808) Hell Yeaa
Drink it up, drink-drink it up,
When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk
They be actin like they drunk, actin-actin like they drunk
When sober girls around me actin-actin like they drunk

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Bridge

Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up
Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up
(You can’t Touch this)
Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up
Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up
(You can’t Touch this)
Hell Yeaaa, Make you put yo hands up, put yo put yo hands up
Hell Yeaaa, Make you put yo hands up, put yo put yo hands up

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Ridiculous Lyric Friday : 143

It’s Friday, and that means I listen to pop radio and all the new songs coming to our ears. I don’t know how old this song is but I heard it and could resist from checking out what exactly they’re saying. It’s called “143” from Bobby Brackins Ft. Ray J. You all know Ray Jay from the Kardashian porno and you know Bobby Brackins from, eh, his name sounding like a cartoon character.

At first when I heard this I thought… “They’re saying what now?” Then I went home and listened on replay, the song is so bad it’s good…sort of. To any woman who falls for these lyrics I feel for you, I wish it was this easy. Click HERE for the video, but I suggest reading the lyrics below.

I give you: 143 

Knockout, Ray J, Bobby Brackins yeah

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

Verse 1
Ride with a stunna you know that I’m winning, headed to the top I ball no 9th inning, pop bottles in the club yes we can, I don’t even care if you a lesbian, that just means we got some common interest, spark my trees then I’ll spark your intrest. Okay… Let’s pop some bubbly, tell me you in love with me, no golf but club with me, I’m big like double D’s. Poppin in cities I aint heard of, let me see your titties, baby pull that shirt up, lift that skirt up got buns like a burger, do the most not the minimum you not a wage worker.

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

Verse 2
Call up your local station if you hear this on the radio, I’m calling up Ray J thinking about the video. If we make a video I’ma need a scene, with dimes in t-shirts that say 143! I got my video all on t.v (wa wa what’s next Bob) we gone drop the E.P. Throwing dubs in the club, at the dance club, or at the strip club, it’s 143 love. Or settle at a playa location, made another hit for the radio station. 143 to the cutie from the club, stick shift love 143 so clutch.

Pre-hook
143 e e (aye what it do), 143 e e (aye what it do), 143 e e (aye what it do), when you see me in the club say I love you.

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

Bridge
My girls a mack mack mack, Lambo’s all black black black, in the club with stacks stacks stacks, 143 stay it back back back, 431 Sexy can I, fall in love Sexy can I, run the club, 143 eeeeeeee girl I looooovve youuu.

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

HIT!