Walking Entitlement

walking-silhouette-clip-art  

Where do I even begin? Lets begin in Los Angeles because what I’m about to jump into *mainly occurs in LA.

Imagine you come to an area (LA) with a dream and you don’t meet the dream in the time period you set for yourself. Now imagine being around tons of people who have the same dream, and those people seem to be multiplying and they’re not hitting their dream strides either. They’re getting frustrated, now you’re getting frustrated. You’re chasing after what you want and you’re being rejected… so are other people. Fuck, a bunch of people are getting really frustrated! You feel out of control. Bunches of people feel out of control. You need to take a walk and think about things, you need to feel in control.

Enter – Walking Entitlement.

I’ve never been around so many people who seem to be totally fucking clueless when walking across a street or on a sidewalk. But they’re not really clueless, they’re minding their own business, which of course is fine, but they’re not minding unspoken spatial laws of life. The law that may or may not state: Being aware is a priority when walking in a congested city with frustrated humans.

I believe that people feel so out of control in their jobs or pursuit of jobs that they relieve frustration by trying to show themselves and others they’re in control. One place to do this… when taking a walk. It sounds ridiculous but it’s true.

People in LA just step into streets with a 30-mile per hour car 10 feet away and expect a full stop.

People walk with dogs and occupy full sidewalk without worrying about others walking towards them.

People walk in bunches on a sidewalk and don’t move when you’re walking by yourself.

I’ve heard people say “I’m going to sue you if you hit me” and walk in front of cars when they shouldn’t be walking… just because. What kind of asshole does that? People feel entitled while walking. Really, when they’re driving too, but that is a different story. It all breaks down to CONTROL. Which I get… but you don’t have to be an asshole.

I wish there were rules in stone that would allow people to do something to absentminded walkers without facing repercussions.

(Just drifted into a world that sees people getting “get out of jail free” digital cards to allow you to teach appropriate lesson without actually harming the person. In this world there is also specialized honking horns that directs attention at poor drivers).

Okay, I’m back.

Walking entitlement. I get that it’s everywhere, but it’s especially bad in LA. I’ve never seen anything like it. It boils down to being unaware of your surroundings and thinking you can just go. The danger of the unaware walker is that it’s a bigger risk for accident or problem to other people. Having said all of that…

I love LA.

(Cue: Randy Newman)

Greatest Movie Of All Time: The Wizard

 

I regularly find myself thinking about what I consider quite possibly the greatest movie of all time. When I catch myself thinking about it I wonder if anyone wants to talk about it, probably not, because it’s only my favorite movie. My friends have gotten tired of hearing about and quite honestly; I’m made fun of more than I’m related too. I’m no fool and know that this isn’t the Godfather, and I know that this movie isn’t even in the top 100,000 movies of all time.

Over time when I’ve told people what my favorite movie is I have to preface it with why I love it, it’s not exactly like saying Pulp Fiction and you don’t have to question it. Today I was reminded of this movie and thought I’d take a minute flushing out what many consider the greatest commercial of all time, and what I consider my favorite movie of all time:

The Wizard.

No, I’m not talking about The Wiz with Michael Jackson. I’m talking about the cross-country adventure starring Fred Savage, Luke Edwards, Beau Bridges, Christian Slater, and Jenny Lewis (aka the singer in Rilo Kelly). The film was directed by Todd Holland who later went on and hit his stride in the TV world by co executive producing Malcolm in the Middle, and has directed many other things.

Where to start… Ah yes, the basic premise: Fred Savage finds out his ex step mother is going to put his half brother Jimmy (Edwards) in a home because he’s a quiet guy who keeps to himself and seemingly has some kind of mental issues. As it stands now, Savage is living with his dad (Bridges of course was previously married to Savages ex step mom) and his brother (Slater).

Savage isn’t having any of this, he grew close to Jimmy while they were all growing up together, upon learning the news and in a fit of rage he locks himself in his bedroom and proceeds to throw darts at his map of the USA. First nailing a few less than desirable locations, but ultimately landing on CALIFORNIA. Enter: The plan unfolding behind his Fred Savage expressions. He proceeds to take 72 dollars, his skateboard, and his 1980’s backpack. Grabs his partially despondent half brother and said “We’re going to California” to which Jimmy replies with a phrase that may go down in motion picture history as the most underrated 1 word delivery ever: “California.”

And they’re off. It’s an adventure, 2 kids heading from Utah trying to make it to San Francisco because Savage has questionable aim with his darts. En route they pull off at a bus station and everything changes. Savage sticks Jimmy on Double Dragon to occupy the time and Jimmy (somehow) ends up racking 50,000 points in about 4 minutes of playtime. What the Fuck! Why what the fuck!? Well…. That’s a lot.  At the same stop Savage meets a girl – Haley (Lewis), she convinces them they should hustle people en route to California, but ultimately they should go to the video game Championships of the world, which happens to be located at Universal City in California. Otherwise known as: Video Armageddon.

Wait… wasn’t this supposed to be just a premise? Premises are usually something like 1 or 2 lines that says: A boy and his kid brother take an adventure cross country to play in the video game championships of the world. But movies are so much more than a 1 line premise, well they are and they aren’t, but this one is.

En route to California they proceed to experience a man chasing them, an antagonist named Lucas Barton, Reno, Truck Drivers, The Power Glove, video games, and then more video games. Finally and ultimately culminating in a video game showdown between the kid brother and Lucas Barton, as they face off in the, up until now never revealed: SUPER MARIO BROTHER PART 3!

If you have any remembrance of this moment of time and seeing this movie then something you may have retained that this was basically a 1 hour and 40 minute commercial for Nintendo. When you’re a kid you don’t think about what movies mean, but rather you’re brainwashed by that exact subliminal meaning. I can sit here and say that in 1989 all I cared about was the adventure and how much fun they’re having… I was a kid, I enjoyed every second of it, and that’s why this movie my greatest movie of all time - It’s because of what happened to me after I saw the movie.

Sure, I went home and started to plant hints of wanting Mario 3 when it comes out, so that aspect of the brainwashing worked. But something bigger happened, and it was at that moment that I knew I wanted to move to California. I wanted to take a cross-country adventure to Universal Studios and make movies in any way shape or form. I was all in for movies. Somehow The Wizard managed to snap some internal thing inside of me that said “Your road will take you to California.”

Many years later it did. I booked it out of Wisconsin and headed to California sans a skateboard and kid brother – arguably all because of THE WIZARD. Sure, there are about 100 other things that I imagined differently at this point, but who cares – I’m here.

I should probably quit with the sentimental Wizard look back because I’m about to shed a tear and I’m contemplating a road trip elsewhere. I think the only other thing fitting is to jump into a list. I give you:

More Reasons As To Why The Wizard Is Quite Possibly The Greatest Movie Of All Time:

I mentioned Fred Savage was in this, right? How underrated is this guy? He didn’t pull the typical child actor shit and go druggy on us (maybe he did actually) he managed to keep his nose clean and go on to do great parts in Austin Powers and is currently directing and creating TV shows.

The. Power. Glove. How ahead of the game was the Power Glove? This movie made this glove look so cool that it’s actually difficult to explain. If you don’t know what the power glove is just take a look at the clip at the bottom of the post. It pretty much sums up The Wizard.

EXTRAS! Spiderman aka Tobey McGuire played the antagonist’s friend, number of words he spoke: 0. Punky Brewster aka errr… Punky Brewster was an extra. Number of words she spoke: 0. For the record I don’t know what happened to Punky, all I know is that she saved Cherry’s life when she was stuck in the fridge and she was on the cover of People magazine for getting a breast reduction.

Christian Slater. Need I say any more? This was pre 90’s heartthrob Slater by the way, and the casting was clearly ahead of its time. Speaking of casting…

Mali Finn was the casting director. Although IMDB says it’s Sally Lear, I’m willing to bet my VHS and DVD copy of The Wizard on this - IMDB is wrong. Unfortunately Finn passed away in 07 but I note her as the casting director simply because she had the eye… She was huge! She did movies like The Matrix, Terminator, Mission Impossible, basically if it was a good movie she may have been attached to it.

Adventure. I said it above but I’ll say it again. If you can somehow harness adventure in a kid’s movie then you’ve won.

The homage to Nintendo is to good to ignore. I admit, it’s a commercial… But everything about this movie made Nintendo that much better.

The climax in this movie is priceless. I don’t know what I love more, the fact that they’re playing a new Mario game or the fact that Jimmy inexplicably knows all the warp zones and how to use the secret flute.

Kids gambling: This is arguably the first movie where a 12 year girl is telling a 30 year old man how to gamble – and win! I wonder how she got into the casino in the first place? Who cares, they won.

The Title: The Wizard. I wonder how many name changes this movie went through. It’s not as though they call Jimmy the Wizard in every other scene, it’s actually only referenced once. I know that this movie was once called “Joystick Hero’s” - if someone can find me previous titles send them to me.

Quick complaint: Why the fuck are there no special features on the DVD!? Who does that?

Just do yourself a favor and revisit the classic. If you have kids show them – tell them about the archaic time when we had to use our hands to play 8 bit video games. The Power Glove, it’s so bad…

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KZErvASwdlU]

 

Food Coma and Observations

“Look Again” hmmm not too sure if I’m crazy about the Sundance slogan – more on that later.

Full discretion: I’m sitting in my hotel in a partial food coma watching “The Label Maker” episode of Seinfeld… it’s so great.

The short time at the Sundance Film Festival has been good so far. From what I understand this weekend is when people start filing in for parties and screenings then it starts to slow down as the week progresses. The things I’ve seen – Lots and lots of transports from different places (obviously) it’s actually like Los Angeles just picked up and relocated to Park City.

Anyway, here are a few early on observations of Sundance:

Getting back to the 2012 slogan: “Look Again” – Seriously, I don’t get it. I sort of do but I just don’t like it. I Googled to find out what the hell it means - I got nothing.

It’s a bit more spread out than I realized. In my head I had this vision that everything was very close but that’s not necessarily the case. However you can take a shuttle and it gets you where you need to be pretty quickly.

I want to go skiing while I’m here but there is almost no snow.

There are a lot of people who work on films: This is obvious but it’s just a reminder. There are tons of people walking around with passes and it’s just a constant reminder of how big things are, especially the industry.

Slamdance is great. Yes, Slamdance. If you’re unaware there is another pretty great festival going on right now called Slamdance and its dead smack in the middle of Sundance. Apparently 4 guys whose films were rejected from Sundance in 1995 started it and it’s been thriving. They have great films, and one would argue they’re as good as Sundance films. A couple of the filmmakers that have been discovered via Slamdance: Chris Nolan (Dark Knight), Marc Foster (Monsters Ball) and films that have premiered at Slamdance: Paranormal Activity and King of Kong (To name a few).

Slamdance is basically part of Sundance now, whether they like it or not. But I think Sundance likes it.

I need to rest. Today was just an intro to the cold world. Tomorrow is going to be movies all day long. This might sound a bit nuts but the main movie I want to see here is called “The First Time” by John Kasdan (In the Land Of Women with Adam Brody). Why is this nuts? Well, it’s a Romantic Comedy, and truth be told I love the romantic comedy, also I read the script and it was great.

I love this episode of Seinfeld.

Sundance Week.

This is my pre warning that work is sending me to Sundance from the 20th to the 26th. Odd’s are that the majority of my blogs are going to be Sundance related so I officially give you: The first ever Joshford blog: Sundance Week Edition. This is my first time heading to the Film Festival and all anyone keeps telling me is “Go to parties and expect to get sick.” Wow. Sounds like a ton of fun. Occasionally you may see a random post about something non-Sundance related or me complaining about the Packers. Maybe I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and sleep type a blog entitled: “I’m having a nightmare about the Packers and they lost to the Giants.” But for the most part expect pictures, movie reviews, and the general thought of the expected Cluster in Park City, Utah for the Festival.

If you’re going and looking to getting sick and have plenty of drinks, be sure to seek me out… apparently that’s what goes on at Sundance.

Last note: Any suggestions on movies to check out please let me know.

The Actual Last Note: Or any suggestions on anything, please let me know.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes - I will defend you forever.

Me talking to my girlfriend on August 5th:

Me: Hey, you know what I really want to see?

Her: What?

Me: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.

Her: Let’s do it.

Me: Those Apes look like they want to fuck something up.

August 6th:

We walk into the Arclight Cinema located here in Hollywood and about 2 hours later I was trying to figure out what just happened. How did I just get blindsided by complete awesomeness and not even know it. Was it the amazing arclight popcorn? Maybe. Odds are it was a combination of things; 1) great environment 2) the popcorn 3) the movie itself.

I remember when I saw Jurassic Park and gazing at the Brontosaurus for the first time, you know the moment when Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler hop out of the jeep mouths agape? Well, that’s basically how a bunch of the kids in the theater were when watching Apes, myself included. I’m not saying this is in the same ballpark as Jurassic Park, I’m just saying it had some moments that conjured up complete excitement.

I honestly think that Rise Of The Planet of the Apes is a movie that 13 year olds will remember and hopefully defend one day. When I say defend a movie I mean that when you hear a friend 10 years from now say “That movie was okay” it’s mandatory that you jump in and say “No dickhead, that movie is better than okay, and I’m here to defend the apes.”

There is a major component how this became an instant defendable movie, and it’s because it’s a movie that caught me (and others) off guard. I wanted to see the movie but I didn’t know how good it was. The one thing that can kill or make and movie great is expectations, you know when your friend see’s a film and talks it up like it’s the second coming then you see it and it isn’t as good because of expectations? Yeah, well I was the friend talking it up.

The expectation variable is so overlooked so many times when discussing film and engaging in arguments. The same argument could be used about professional athletes but I’m sticking to films for the moment. I got to thinking about movies that I hold in the:

Little to no expectations and I’ll defend to the death category:

The Sixth Sense: If you’re one of those people who say, “I knew the ending” I call you a liar and I would pay big money to hop into a DeLorean and watch it with you for the first time. When I saw this I was on a vacation in Denver and the family decided to see a movie. I didn’t choose this, everyone else did, but when I walked out I officially saw dead people and this moment sparked a never ending defending to M. Knight Shymalangagagagagagan.

American Pie: I was just about to start high school when this movie came out and it couldn’t have been much more entertaining than it was, 50 years later I’ll probably see the 4th installment which comes out some time soon. By the way American Pie was made for $11 million and made over $100 million (Domestic only).

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective: Undeniable classic. I don’t think a single human besides Jim Carrey and Dan Marino thought this movie was going to be good. It was better than good… I still quote it.

The Truman Show: Since we’re talking Jim Carrey I should bring this up. This was Carrey’s push into seriousness and he brought it. This movie is so relevant right now; I could actually see this happening in today’s entertainment environment.

The Other Guys: It’s hard to say there is a below the radar Will Ferrell / Mark Wahlberg movie but this was it. I saw this movie in a not so crowded theater and I may have been the loudest person laughing.

The Bourne Identity: This may seem ludicrous to think that Bourne had low expectations but I vividly remember nobody thought Good Will Hunting Damon was going to be James Bond 2.0 – but he was. Aside from Hunting this was the biggest game changer for Damon.

Taken: Since we’re talking Bourne, Taken would be how Jason Bourne is in 20 years with a family. Taken is the ultimate word of mouth movie, and here’s how you know:

Opening weekend: $24 Million

2nd Weekend: $20 Million  (-16.7% change in gross)

3rd Weekend: $18 Million  (-7.6% change in gross from 2nd weekend)

4th Weekend: $21 Million (+6.2% change from gross in 3rd weekend)

This is insane. For a movie to decrease by that small of a percentage each week is considered an accomplishment beyond accomplishments. THEN for it to increase in it’s 4th week is even more nuts - Not to mention it’s lone star power was Liam Neeson who isn’t exactly Will Smith.

Starship Troopers: At this point in life this movie is fucking terrible and maybe even laughable… But I’ll still defend Johnny Rico and him killing bugs.

Let Me In: Matt Reeves’ follow up to Cloverfield. If you haven’t seen this movie be prepared to be incredibly on edge.

 

I’ll stop there and remind you that Apes came out on DVD yesterday. If you haven’t seen it – see it. If you have seen it and want to talk poorly about it come find me so I can defend it like Cesar defending his Apes. Hail Cesar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Come on now Mr. Meteorologist

This past week I realized that a monkey could be a meteorologist…maybe. But seriously across the board the meteorologists were saying it was going to Thunder Storm and rain - it was 80 and sunny. I understand mother nature is a tricky lady but I just think if we have the capability to look at flares on the sun and look light years into the universe I think we should be able to track the cloud formation and get close to predicting rain.

Remember in Back to the Future part 2 when Doc Brown looked at his watch when it was pouring, told Marty to wait a few seconds and then POOF it stopped raining. He explained they can predict exact weather - I want that. What’s the deal? I’m sick of these “these guys” acting like they know what they’re talking about, especially here in California. Weather in California fluctuates once every 73 days so is it asking to much to be spot on?

Maybe I’m just being to negative or maybe I’m wrong, but when Johnny Mountain looks at his doppler 6500 and tells me it’s going to rain, I want rain.