Sportscenter and Breaking Bad.

I sort of feel brain dead right now. It was a long weekend. Maybe it was because my lady was out of town and I proceeded to eat frozen pizza, drink beer, watch TV, and eat more pizza. Maybe it was because I was anticipating the Breaking Bad finale and felt emotionally drained. Maybe it’s because I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day and my emotions were poltergeisted from me and sucked into my laptop. Or, maybe it’s all of the above. It’s all of the above.

Somewhere in the fog and pizza I managed to come to two very important conclusions this weekend that (I think) have an impact on any human who likes either sports or watching narrative programs. I’m banking on one of these two things appealing to you.

Conclusion 1: I was really trying to avoid being the guy who talks about Breaking Bad. I’m not going to get into how great Breaking Bad is, we already know that, the finale was great. The show was great, it’s storytelling at its finest.  What I am going to get into is how great Breaking Bad was at marketing to its fans. I kind of think it may have been a game changer.

Breaking Bad knew exactly what it was as a show and fed into it. It knew that we as fans loved Heisenberg saying, “Say My Name” or “Tread Lightly” and Pinkman saying, “Bitch.” It was so aware of what it was doing that it didn’t over think itself. But rather, it fed itself, and in turn, fed us. It created hashtags that weren’t generic, and created novelty items (meth lab Lego set).

I don’t think there’s ever been a show of this caliber that played to its strengths in regard to communicating with fans. There was no forcing the Breaking Bad slogans, they saw what was trending and moved with it… Which is a great lesson for just about everything in the entire world.

 

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Conclusion 2: Sportscenter is never not on.

What. The. Fuck. Seriously, Sportscenter is always on. I have Time Warner which has 3 ESPN channels – ESPN, ESPN2, and some 3rd ESPN station that I literally have no clue about… ESPNews maybe?

I was staring at my cable guide and noticed that as one Sportscenter would end on ESPN it begin on ESPN2 then end and then begin on the 3rd station - and continue, over and over and over and over. The weird part is, is that these were all different Sportcenters talking about the same thing, sort of, but with different people. Then when a certain time came, ESPN just looped the original Sportcenter!

In my slumped over fat guy weekend mode I searched forward to find out if this was just a weekend thing, it isn’t! ESPN legitimately loops Sportscenter.  This is horrible. I love Sportscenter as much as anyone but this is not right. The main reason being is because Sportscenter now releases so much content they’re talking about non-stories and bullshit that shouldn’t warrant a conversation. I don’t give a flying fuck what LeBron said on Twitter or the Instagram of him and his wife, I don’t need you to tell me, that’s why I have Twitter and a Instagram account.

Sportscenter talked about Dwayne Wade and Kevin Durant’s minor words back and forth like they had a KG / Carmelo exchange.  The ironic part is, having this oversaturation of Sportscenter being there 24.5 hours a day makes me tune out and allows me to appreciate the Internet’s a la carte style along with good writing from sites like Grantland.

Eh, bitter old man talking. Whatever, Breaking Bad was great. I’m off to read about sports. 

LA Lakers: Observations & Predictions

- The Lakers seem like they’re a team that needs a moment where they all are going to have to play scrubs on Venice beach and have an 80’s bonding montage some time during the mid season just to give themselves confidence.

- This is the first time in the history of life that fans know more than the coaches. We all see the inevitable fall of Mike Brown’s questionable offense. He’s somehow made one of the greatest point guards of all time a non-factor.

- This year could be a year that blows up the franchise. Mike Brown will kill Dwight Howard’s thoughts of signing an extension, which will result in him leaving. Brown will get fired. Nash will retire early.

- The Lakers are going to have a players only meeting after their Venice beach fun and say, “fuck it, lets do what we want.”

- Princeton offense is gone.

- Derrick Fisher signs with the Lakers. Where is D. Fish?

- Lakers somehow make it to the NBA finals.

Why does this make sense?

http://youtu.be/HI-vja-tcc0 Before we all watch the Lakers and their suddenly horrible offense with amazing players we should all watch this and be happy it exists.

I present: Metta World Peace in a Lifetime movie called “The Eleventh Hour”

…And yes, that is Jenny Garth.

…And yes, I may have to break this video down at some point in the near future.

Decompression. Entertainment. NBA.

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I think it’s safe to say that I just finished decompressing from the eyegasm that was Prometheus and Sunday June 10th in general. On Monday June 11th I reflected on the previous day.

10am:
Early morning story confusion but who cares because it was so cool to look at that everything some how made sense (Prometheus).

1pm:
Getting stuck in West Hollywood Gay pride parade and deciding to walk with my girlfriend to a restaurant and have a drink(s).

3pm:
Feeling the affects from the drink(s). When we got home we started to watch the end of Die Hard part 2 until I realized that a unicorn has been sighted and for some inexplicable reason Die Hard part 3 was on another random channel – changed to Sam Jackson and Bruce Willis yelling at Jeremy Irons.

6pm: 
Woke up from the best mid day nap in the history of life and wondered how and why Die Hard part 3 is still on… Maybe the longest movie ever?

7pm:
Watched the season finale of Mad Men and loved every second of it. I haven’t seen a season tie together so well since the previous season of Mad Men. My girlfriend and I discussed and continued discussing on Monday what this season was all about. I don’t think she liked the finale as much as I did but it’s difficult not to appreciate how great that show is.

I don’t want to spoil anything but Don Draper may be the coolest character in the history of television and on par with: Walter White, Cosmo Kramer, Larry David, Homer Simpson, Jack Shepherd, Bill Cosby, Will Smith, Angus MacGyver, Archie Bunker, Tony Soprano, Fonzie Fonzarelli, and Aaron Rodgers from the hit Sunday TV show: NFL Football.

9pmish:
Watched the teaser trailer for Breaking Bad - I’m excited.

10pm: 
Watched Safe House with Denzel and Ryan Reynolds and felt like this may be one of the biggest I didn’t expect that movies I’ve seen in a long time.

By the time Midnight rolled around it was time for me to try and turn off my brain and pass out. At some point Monday I realized that I may be consuming too much information, if that’s even possible. Is it possible? Nah, knowledge is power and I want to know about Don Draper. But as life goes, when one thing ends another thing begins, which brings me to the NBA Finals and the consumption of sports that starts tonight.

This may be the most intriguing match up in years. The Lakers / Celtics from a few years ago was definitely amazing so I can’t disregard it, but what we’re seeing right now has so many implications - I think.

Miami Heat VS Oklahoma City Thumnder. Purchased Super Team VS Drafted rejected from Seattle Team. Durant VS Lebron. Westbrook VS his Craziness VS Wade. James Harden VS … who the F is going to guard James Harden?

What I find most appealing about these finals is that I think Durant is about to go Jordan mode 2.0. I think he’s about to take over and he’s not going anywhere for a long time. I think he’s going to play as well as James, if not outplay him, but more importantly I think OKC is going to win. If OKC does win then that marks a certain problem for many NBA teams. OKC is young and built like the Spurs. If everyone stays healthy and if Durant decides not to leave basketball for baseball then I seriously think they could win 4-5 championships in the next 5-7 years.

When they win, a trickle down effect is going to happen. Teams will start changing their team just to compete with them (like they did with Shaq and Kobe) and we’ll all have to start wondering if LeBron James is the greatest yet most scratch your head what to make of him worthy player in the history of the NBA… if we don’t already think that.

Anyway.

Oklahoma wins in 6. Don’t ask how, don’t ask why. Just know that Durant is going to be the MVP.

Every year when my team I root for gets eliminated I reflect on how much time I just wasted and how much rooting, drinking, projecting, arguing, and eating I just did. I don’t think it’s healthy for about 3 days. Then I remind myself that I love sports and entertainment and if I didn’t have either I’d be lost (or I’d be a genius). I’m already starting to do my reflecting but this NBA finals has allowed me to just look forward.

I can’t wait to decompress a little more. Then football will start and so will breaking bad and the whole cycle repeats itself. Fuck. I love you entertainment.

Greatest Basketball Story Ever: Magic Johnson

I just finished watching “The Announcement” on ESPN. It revisited the time when Magic Johnson had announced he was HIV positive and the massive ripple effect it had on the world. Yes, the world, not just sports. I’m not going to get into the impact that The Announcement had because I think we already kind of get it.

Instead, I need to tell a story. It’s a story that I’ve told roughly 1,583 times and I will continue to tell until I can’t talk anymore. It’s a story that I literally don’t care how much time I take telling it because I love it so much. It’s a story that will grow and I’ll be making my grandchildren listen to me as I reminisce with a tear in my eye while exaggerating every moment by 100. It’s a moment that was written in my journal as incoherent blabber and random flashes because I couldn’t hold a thought. As far as I’m concerned it’s the greatest basketball story of all time.

- The Time I Played Basketball With Magic Johnson - Pre Game:

It was a weekday in the afternoon and my friend Evan aka “The Swed” called me to play some basketball at 24-hour fitness in Hollywood. Good thing we work in the entertainment industry because that translates to: Our afternoons are completely free because we didn’t have jobs at the time. Anyway, he picked me up in his old school pick up truck and we proceeded to head to the indoor court.

We played ball there pretty regularly, I probably would look back at this period of my life and say I was in my basketball prime, which isn’t saying much, but Its something. We were comfortable in the gym; it wasn’t one of those places you’ve never played before so you’re reluctant to hop in a game. We were at the point that when we walked in we’d see familiar faces and would be able to jump into a game pretty easily. Fortunately for us when we walked in there weren’t many guys so we called “next game.

We assembled a team of random guys and when the current game ended we were ready to go. It was typical as usual and the scattered play of gym basketball was in full force. I specifically remember feeling pretty good that day and my buddy Swed seemed to be on his shit to. I always felt bad for Swed because he’s roughly 6’3 so everyone expected him to play under the basket like he’s Shaq but in reality he had a really good jump shot. Any time he wanted the ball passed to him everyone would force him under the basket, where… I might say he’s not at his most comfortable (Sorry Swed!) But on this particular day… he was feeling it.

Not sure if it was our fresh legs but we were rolling. Our team was leading 7-4 (the game plays up to 11 by 1 and 2 point shots). Somehow the other team started to chip it’s way back into the game…

7-5: No problem we’re still winning.

8-5: We’re going to win!

8-6: We’re good.

8-7: Fuck it’s 8-7!

I could sense our team feeling a little un-easy and the play was getting sloppy, and then it happened…

At the far end of the gym a guy walked in that had a presence of a human who probably won 5 NBA championships and 3 MVP’s. In about 6 seconds everyone’s heads turned and Magic Johnson was in the building. Swed came up to me and said, “Dude, that’s Magic Johnson” I said, “I know!” He put his bags down and went to a side hoop with his friend to start shooting.

Meanwhile we had a close game to finish but nobody could focus. I think there was an understanding that Magic could potentially say he wanted to play. Holy shit! In the blink of an eye my current game was tied 9 – 9. I seriously don’t remember what happened or how it got there. I was to focused on looking really fucking cool in front of Magic by making sound bounce passes.

Suddenly, the basketball Gods spoke as we heard Magic say: “I have next game.

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Okay, it’s official. Magic Johnson has next game. So, what does this mean? It means that whomever WINS this game stays on the court and plays against Magic. Suddenly I felt like I was playing for Willy Wonka’s golden ticket, and to add to the moment, Wonka, I mean Magic, was just staring at us on the sidelines sizing up his future competition.

At this point the game score was 10-10. First team to 11 wins. I repeat, first team to 11 wins.

Our ball. Like I said I was having a good game so I dribbled the ball up court, passed it to someone and then ran around like white guys do in pick up basketball, and then the ball came back to me. I was holding the basketball that would potentially send us into the next game - this was my moment.

I dribbled to the right and had a step on my guy – I noticed Magic looking at me, probably thinking “He reminds me of me” or he was actually thinking, “Hurry up white dude.” I flew to the basket in suspended reality and suddenly realized I had an open lay up, I can win this game! Directly to my right I see Swed flying next to me probably going to get my rebound (if there is one) in anticipation of me going in for the lay up.

I know I just said that time was suspended but I’m not kidding… God had actually slowed things down for me.

I’m up in the air going for the basket… A few guys next to me jump but I know I can lay it in if I need to… I still see Swed to my right… I know Magic is watching… I can make this… But… Wait… Magic is looking at me! I’m not going to score the game-winning basket, I’m going to facilitate just like him!

I proceed to pull the ball back and toss it backwards behind my body to Swed flying in. I think it’s the greatest pass of all time. My logic at the time was: Since I have these people up in the air, I’m going to pass it to Swed for an easy lay up and we’re playing Magic in basketball.

The moment kept moving and I passed the ball and for a second I thought we were going to win, then another second passed and I realized that I missed Swed completely and threw the ball out of bounds. Wait, what? Yes, I threw the ball out of bounds in front of everyone. The other team picks up the ball very quickly and runs down the court to score the game-winning basket. We just lost.

What the fuck just happened?

The other team celebrated like I was planning to. Magic’s assembled team came on the court and proceeds to play against … well, who cares because it wasn’t me. Swed and I were left to mope on the sidelines. Many Many Apologizes:

People had filed in to watch Magic play basketball, we tried to get into the next game but it was hopeless, everyone had announced they wanted next, next after next, and so on. To top it off Magic had said: “I have one game in me.” This was horrible. Swed and I sat with our backs to the wall watching Magic Johnson play basketball directly in front of us. On any other day just the sight of him playing would have been enough, but knowing I just blew the opportunity to play against him was like watching my girlfriend happily hook up with my best friend in front of me… it sucked.

Swed said, “Hallman, I thought you were gonna lay it up.

Me: “Me too, but then I thought I’d toss you a great pass.

It wasn’t a great pass and I knew I fucked up. We sat there sweaty and depressed watching Magic smiling in his street clothes torching people in a gym, and then like Magic Johnson’s vote into the All Star game in 1992 we were given a glimmer of hope. Some random dude who we didn’t know but were facially familiar with came up to us.

Hey, my buddies aren’t coming and I only got 2. You guys want in the next game with me?

YES.

And just like that we were back in, we had next game, but we needed to bank on two things going our way.

1) Magic’s team had to win, which in our minds was inevitable.

2) Magic had to be swayed into sticking around another game.

As Magic’s game was going we could tell his team was winning and Swed and I were on a side hoop warming up. I wasn’t doing much talking; just hoping Magic plays the next game… and secretly building up my confidence to be awesome on a basketball court.

His game finished, and of course his team won. Everyone on the court went to shake his hand and the new team (my team) walked onto the court asking him to stick around another game. Magic had a big ol’ smile on his face and said he’d play another, and when I heard that I looked to Swed and nearly kissed him out of happiness. Magic said he was instantly ready to go, which translates to: We’re playing right now.

As we were pairing up with which guys we’re going to cover, the dude who asked us to play came up to us and said, “My friends are here.” Huh? I said “Okay” and then the friends assumed they were going to play, one even said “You can have next game.

Okay – typically I’m a pretty nice guy in these situations and try to find a happy medium, but I knew in the back of my head there was no fucking way I was leaving that court. I don’t even think Swed acknowledged the guy. I ended up telling one of the guys, “Dude, we’re not leaving.” At this moment I think I would have actually fought to stay on the court and fortunately these guys had 2 things working against them.

1) It’s poor pick up game etiquette to pull this late arrival shit.

2) Magic was ready to go, he didn’t care who was going to play, he just wanted to play, and on a court you listen to Magic Johnson – it was go time.

So we stayed on the court. Game time with MAGIC JOHNSON!

Truth be told, I don’t remember as much as I should from this game but remember odd specifics -

I remember that Magic had singled out a Asian kid on his team to be his go to man and I was slightly jealous of that, I remember Swed’s height allowed him to GUARD Magic (lucky bastard), I remember I missed my first shot and was scared Magic was judging my decision making, I remember everyone on both teams tried to be fancy, I remember Magic doing a behind the back pass and everyone being faked out and really happy we were faked out, I remember the 20 plus people who filed in to watch the game, I remember the looks of the 2 friends whose spots we took, but most importantly I remember “The Play.”

Although “The Play” is not a recognized moment in basketball history, I may argue that it should be.

The Play:

Magic took a few dribbles towards the hoop from the 3-point line then backed off a little. Everyone was running around being insanely proactive. Magic passed the ball to Asian Kid and he eventually passed it back to Magic. Magic started to dribble to the hoop and in unselfish fashion he proceeded to pass the ball behind his back. Only thing he didn’t know is that my adrenaline was rushing like I was on a Red Bull bender and I telegraphed his pass. I jumped right in front of the guy he was passing to and stole the ball.

I immediately dribbled the ball and started sprinting down the court to my hoop with one guy to beat currently backpedaling and about 15 feet ahead of me. Here’s the thing I need to clarify; I’m a stereotypical white guy on the basketball court. I feel much more comfortable shooting a jump shot than I do trying to make a contested lay up, because I always seem to screw up or look funny when I have a contested anything. Usually I’m okay with looking stupid but when you just stole a pass from the greatest point guard of all time and he’s suddenly running behind you, not to mention a road block of a dude in front of you, you can get a little nervous.

Somewhere in this moment there is a metaphor for life, I’m still kind of searching for it, but it was the perfect set up for exposing weakness. I had no choice but to face this head on because if I didn’t I would’ve had to banish myself from being a Man in the human race.

I dribbled towards the guy in front of me… I got closer to the basket… I was going fast… Suddenly the guy did another stereotypical white guy move and stood still with his hands in the air daring me to charge into him. On any given day I would have pulled up for a jumper but I channeled my inner Bob Cousy and made the greatest move of all time:

I faked right with the ball then dribbled left, the guy brought his hand down to swat the ball and somehow he missed, I suddenly had a step on him and I was going towards the basket. The guy jumped towards me as I was going up with the ball and in mid air I contorted my body and went under the hoop for a reverse lay up. If felt perfect, the ball left my hand and by the time my momentum carried me to the other side of the hoop I looked up to see the ball effortlessly falling in. HOLY SHIT!

I didn’t know what I just did but it felt awesome and I reacted as though I do it all the time. As I turned to run up the court Magic “the greatest point guard of all time” Johnson patted me on the back and said “Good Move.

I knew at that moment I could retire from pick up basketball a happy man, and I think I almost did, but we still had a game to play.

The Finale:

It may sound unbelievable but we were winning. Swed was playing pretty well, I hit a few more shots and we found ourselves with a nice cushion, that cushion faded quickly when Magic decided to take things into his own hands and drop back to back 2-pointers to bring the game to within 1. The score was 10-9, and once again we were playing first to 11. We ran down the floor and missed our shot… Shit! In my mind I was thinking we might have just blown the chance to beat Magic.

As Magic dribbled down the court I wondered what he would do, would he pull up for another 2 pointer and end this thing? But then he did the second most unbelievable thing of the day and something that’s essentially banned during a pick up game. He dropped the ball and said, “Time out.

Time out? Who calls Time out during a pick up game? I guess Magic Johnson, that’s who, and who would stop him? He proceeded to huddle his team together and draw up a play!

As he was drawing up his play everyone just kind of looked at each other thinking, can he call a time out?

He broke the huddled and we resumed. There was constant movement but you could tell the play was screwed immediately because Magic was visibly frustrated. He tried to find an open man… he couldn’t. Standing roughly 3 feet behind the 3-point line he casually took things into his own hands and put up another 2-point shot. Swoosh. Game Over. 11-10. Magic won. Post Game:

Immediately handshakes were exchanged and Magic packed his things up and left. Everyone sat in awe at what just happened. I proceeded to tell Swed about the pat on my back and comment he gave me. He didn’t care because he had his own story, but I didn’t care about that either… So we were basically just talking to ourselves…

As we drove home we were crazy.

As I went into my apartment I told every human I could.

I finally chilled out a little as everything sunk in. Hands down the greatest basketball day of my life. He was the nicest guy ever.

I know there is only one thing that can happen to this story: It’s going to be vastly exaggerated over time. But, I don’t care. As long as I mention the game, the play, and the Magic time out - then I know I’ve done justice.

As I watched “The Announcement” I contemplated making a documentary of my own called “The Play” … I wonder if I could get Magic? Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if he did it and then pretended to know what I was talking about. The guy is awesome, and not just on a basketball level. For the few moments I was around him he was nothing but genuine and probably very happy to leave everyone with a good memory… It’s basically how he left everyone in the NBA.

Final stats of the game:

3-6 with 3 points … I think. Ask me this in a few years and it will be 5-7 with 8 points.

The Weekend: Quick Recap

 

MOVIE:

It’s official. I broke my “not going to the movie theater” streak this weekend and saw Project X. I had mixed feelings about it and may still be recovering from the hangover I received while watching. Overall I didn’t mind it, I knew what I was getting myself into – A found footage exaggerated drinking comedy in high school. At least, I think it was exaggerated… Coming from the crazy suburban streets of Wisconsin I think it’s safe to say my parties were a tad more contained than that of Project X.

It’s a fun movie and if you’re going to see it don’t expect to see an incarnation of a John Hughes film - It’s more topical to the time we live in. I wonder how many teens got completely hammered after watching the movie and then tried to recreate the premise of the film but only had 8 kids show up at their house… TV:

Lindsay Lohan on SNL: Is it just me or has SNL hit its stride in the last year? Last week’s Maya Rudolph show essentially was one of the best shows I’ve seen as a stand-alone in a long time, and I find myself seeking out skits. Buuuuuut then the stride hit a roadblock named Lindsay Lohan.

Does anyone remember Lohan the actor? Not really, right? She’s just a girl we feel sorry for because of her (seemingly) really bad upbringing and continuous horrible choices. I think that everyone felt like this SNL was an opportunity for her to clean up her image a bit and say, “I’m good, I can still act, and I still have a career!” But the reality is, it didn’t, and she’s not that good anymore… I feel kind of bad for her.

The episode took the easy route of poking fun at Lohan’s past issues, which was funny, but to obvious. Aside from her stumbling over lines she looked uncomfortable. I may be looking to far into this but don’t you think when she was presented with an opportunity to redeem herself on the SNL stage she’d REALLLY go for it like she’s in the final acting role of her life. I think her phoning it in on SNL says a lot about her. Having said that… It was the second highest rated show all season and THIS skit was pretty fucking funny.

Awake: Maybe the coolest show on TV that I hope doesn’t get cancelled. It was created by Kyle Killen aka “The Guy who created The Beaver but then Mel Gibson went Mel Gibson on everyone so the movie bombed” aka “The Guy who created Lone Star but nobody watched it and you don’t know what the hell Lone Star is” aka “This guy is really talented” (Fairly certain I misused “aka’s” and my “quotation marks” “””). Check out Awake.

Celebrity Apprentice: This show is a mess! Shark Tank: This show isn’t a mess and it’s insanely underrated. I think I love Shark Tank. If you don’t know the premise - it’s essentially Mark Cuban and 6 other successful business minds hearing pitches from people and then they bid on it or tell them it’s a horrible idea. The NBA:

I watched The Lakers VS Heat on Sunday and aside from how awesome the game was the other thing people were talking about was D. Wade’s smedium shirt. I think it’s time we have a “best dressed” competition in the NBA.

Jeremy Lin!

If you’ve been living under a rock or aren’t a sports fan then you don’t know who Jeremy Lin is, and that’s okay. If you are a sports fan and you’re still confused as to who Lin is, then that’s not okay. I’m going to quickly fill in the blanks because this is currently 1 of 7.5 million posts that have been written about Lin in the last week –

Lin was sitting on the bench for the struggling Knicks, and less than a month ago he was demoted to the NBA developmental league. After he had a monster game in the D league he was pushed back up to the Knicks who were in desperate need of a point guard. As it was, Lin was the back up, back up, back up, back up in the point guard rotation for the Knicks. After a few injuries and other random set backs to those guys Lin was given his first shot to play 12 days ago… and he killed it.

After the game 12 days ago, he was entered into the starting rotation for the Knicks and they haven’t lost since, it’s been 6 games – tonight he goes for 7 in a row. Why is this significant? Where does someone begin? To start - The Knicks have been without their 2 best players while Lin was doing all of this, which turned the team on its head (more on that below) and he single handedly CPR’d the Knicks, breathing new life into them. Long story short… The Knicks are the best thing in sports (for now).

In no particular order - Thoughts, Questions, Observations, and Predictions for The Knicks:

- Mike D’Antoni has looked like a wreck with his Luigi moustache on the Knicks sideline. Since Lin has taken over he’s back to looking like himself during his Phoenix days. Lin has saved his job (for now). D’Antoni’s system works, with a point guard. It’s the anti Phil Jackson triangle of the NBA.

- Jeremy Lin has the best pun name ever: Linsane, Linsanity, Just Lin, Linning, Linderella, Lincredible, Played him like a vioLin…. You get the point.

- I love everything about the Lin story. He has pumped new life into what I consider a throw away season. I hate this shortened lock out season because it doesn’t seem that it totally counts. Looking back on the 2011-2012 NBA season there will be 2 asterisks. *Shortened lockout season and *Lin.

- If Lin started 2 weeks earlier he would be a starter in the NBA all-star game. With the departure of Yao Ming every vote from China has just gone to Lin. If Lin finishes this season and doesn’t suddenly disappear off the face of the planet I would bet 10:1 odds that he’s in next year’s all-star game as a top-3 vote getter.

- This has been said 100 times but its true - Tebow is to football as Lin is to basketball. People should take bets right now as to who will have a longer and more successful career… Then take bets on who is the better role model… I say Lin regarding career, Tebow regarding role model. At least Lin has a shot as president one day (Tebow was born in the Philippines).

- When has it ever happened in sports where 2 people have occupied so much attention then delivered to the hype - Lin with basketball and Tebow with football?

- Is Lin’s trademark going to be that band aide that’s half falling off his chin?

 

- Embracing reality and turning the Knicks on their head:

It’s not as thought the Knicks were irrelevant with talent. They have 2 big guys and 1 score machine named Carmelo Anthony and everyone is wondering how Melo is going to now fit with the Knicks. Until Lin, Melo has been the guy who takes all the last second shots and controls the ball, that isn’t the case anymore due to Lin’s antics.

If Melo somehow fucks up this chemistry when he comes back there is a real chance that the Knicks fans will boo him, which would not be good. I hope this works out for ball hog Melo, I really do. I hope he flourishes with Lin running the show and I hope Lin dishes out 15 assists per game. Only time will tell but if the Knicks keep winning before Melo comes back this could be a lose – lose and Melo may never hear the end of it.

- If Dan Brown replaced Robert Langdon with Jeremy Lin in his next book I wouldn’t mind.

- So we’re not talking about Lin’s 30 turnovers in 6 games because they have been winning, right?

- Is Baron Davis going to make a difference on the Knicks when he returns?

- We all know Lin went to Harvard, right? Where will Lin fall in the Ivy League players turned NBAers. Who else is there?

- I hope Lin is the real deal and I think he is. When I say real deal I mean a guy who can manage a game and be a viable option for a team. I’m not looking for Lin to keep pace with his incredible play; he has to come down to earth at some point, right?

- Lin has reminded me that a point guard is more important than I remember.

- 66 game season. Knicks are currently 14-15. 6-0 with Lin. 37 games to go. I predict the Knicks finish 24-13 making the Knicks over all record 38-28, and making Lin’s overall record 30-13 as a starter.

In this blah NBA season I couldn’t be happier that this is happening. There hasn’t been a time in the last 10-15 years that I’ve really liked the Knicks. I’ve liked them but I wasn’t blatantly rooting for them. I like Melo and am a huge Amare fan but this Lin phenomenon has me rooting for them night in and night out, and especially rooting for him. I think I may have finally forgot about Latrell “Bad as Hell” Sprewell and the NY Knicks era.

Team Lin.

Chris Paul: The Ex Girlfriend

As a Lakers fan I went through a wave of emotions yesterday. In the morning I was talking to my buddy and we were discussing Dwight Howard and Chris Paul, I was saying how I’d love it if the Lakers got Superfreak Dwight Howard and then we joked for about 3 minutes about how amazing the Lakers would be with both Paul and Howard. About 3 hours later I got this call:

Me: Hello

Him: Did you hear!?

Me: Huh?

Him: Paul for Odom AND Gasol!

(silence)

Me: Dude?

Him: Paul FOR Odom and Gasol!

Me: Don’t fuck with me man, I’m walking down 4th street and can’t take this right now.

Him: Seriously it’s all over the radio!

I ran and checked the Internet but it wasn’t there, apparently 710 ESPN in LA is faster than the Internet. As I scoured various sport outlets to read more I started to think about the trade. I thought about how much I loved Gasol and was even starting to come around to Odom. I started to think of Andrew Bynum’s peanut butter knees and how we’ll have to rely on him, I thought about how this would affect Derrick Fisher, but then I went back to how much I really loved Gasol.

Quick side story on Gasol: I was at a game and as Gasol was walking back to the court after halftime, some crazy fan jumped about 2 feet over the railing right in front of Gasol. As security was running to apprehend the guy, the guy quickly pulled out a marker. Gasol stopped the security guards and slyly grabbed the marker and signed the guy’s jersey. Security ushered him back to his seat. If I wasn’t sold on Gasol, I was then.

You know what else is really weird about Gasol and Odom – my girlfriend knows who they are. Aside from Kobe, I think they’re the only players she actively cares about. In a different time I could picture Gasol as the Dos Equis most interesting man alive, not sure why but he appeals to women… he just does. She knows Odom because he’s a Kardashian – we’ll leave it at that.

Finally the Paul story popped up and it was true, the three-team deal was taking place and I needed to come to terms with two 7 feet players leaving. I had to say goodbye to two key components to rebuilding the Lakers after Shaq departed.

After I was sort of coming to terms with this whole trade and starting to envision Paul tossing an alley-oop to Kobe and Kobe then has to do an acrobatic lay up because his legs are not 23 years old anymore I was officially coming around. I know how great Chris Paul is, that’s not up for question, it’s just the size we’ve lost and the instability of Bynum that’s keeping me worried. And then I get a message….

“The trade was vetoed”

What the fuck? I come to learn Dan “I can’t keep LeBron James so I throw tempter tantrums” Gilbert shot out some email and this is viewed as an unfair trade. The Lakers aren’t getting Chris Paul... And then a moment that happens to every human at some point in their life took place:

The Lakers not getting Chris Paul made me want him even more. I somehow forgot about Gasol’s kindness and Odom’s Kardashian-ness. All I could think about is Chris Paul doing his best Magic Johnson impression to the Lakers last season in the playoffs. I started to envision his healthy knees tossing a half court pass to Kobe and Kobe some how is flying when he catches it, then he dunks on someone.

Chris Paul has become something I want even more because we can’t have him. He’s like the ex girlfriend you didn’t like but she pulled the trigger to break it off with you and suddenly the girlfriend looks about 9 times better. I’m still in this phase. I’m trying to remind myself that when these things don’t happen it’s usually for the better, somehow it always works out.

I have this gut feeling that we’ll get Paul… somehow… someway. In my perfect world we’d get him in free agency next year and the entire Lakers roster reorders their contracts just to sign Paul, just so the Lakers can give the emphatic fuck you to everyone.

Final thoughts:

Even though I know Dan Gilbert isn’t the only man behind this I’ve never been Team LeBron more than I am right now.

It’s too bad we couldn’t get Dwight Howard - that may solve everything.

My friend just text me and said I had a man crush on Chris Paul.

Filling The NBA Void.

 

Anger and confusion have taken over – I really wanted the NBA season. What happened? It just felt that since the NFL figured out their issues the NBA would too. I was wrong. We’re coming off one of the most exciting seasons in a long long time, specifically because “I’m taking my talents to south beach” was said and then followed up by their party that was similar to a WWE entrance.

I know we’re still somewhere in the woods of having an NBA season – there’s still a chance. But, it’s not the same and the damage has been done. Even if they somehow salvage something and manage to have a 50 game season I will forever remember it as a “Who gives a shit season”. There’s going to be a glaring asterisk next to the NBA champion / MVP / and basically everything else associated with this time. The only thing this season is good for now is 1 – highlights and 2 – a loooong pre-season before next year.

DAMMIT! I really wanted to see The Lakers, Kobe yelling at his teammates, Derrick Rose, Blake Griffin, Big 3, Big 3 fight, Big 3 make up, Trade talks, Shaq on TNT, the All Star Game, and did I say Kobe yelling at his teammates?

After I read that the players rejected the offer and will disband I immediately thought of ways to fill the inevitable sports void - In no particular order:

Watch the Green Bay Packers shack up with the 72 Dolphins after they win the Super Bowl: This option is the most helpful. After the Pack won the Super Bowl last year it really made me not worry about much – there was always a bright side to my sports life.

The Kardashians: Yeah, that’s right – I said it. Not only is it good TV but it’s also a chance to check up on Lamar Odom and the impending Kris Humphries story line. Some NBA action, right?

YouTube: Lots of old NBA highlights.

The Sing-Off: Commercials for the next season have already hit the TV. They’re promoting it to start after The Superbowl. I can already imagine the follow up to “Move like Jagger” but this time it’s remixed by Cee-Lo.

The X-Factor: This season isn’t even over yet and I want another season.

Hockey: Can I get into this? Eh, probably not.

UFC: It’s a good reason to act like I know fighting styles and drink beer. I may watch this – Only if Brock “the 14 year old trapped in a Manimals body” Lesner fights someone.

Baseball: Baseball is that one sport that finishes and seemingly starts up the next week. The Milwaukee Brewers made me like baseball again for the first time since the 90’s – I may actually give this a shot (when the playoffs start).

AMC television: Catch up on Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, Mad Med - AMC has slowly become the channel that is in the same sneeze as HBO.

Or, of course, there’s always the option to turn off the TV and start reading and doing things more productive… which I secretly hope happens and then everyone forgets the NBA. Truthfully, my stubbornness is taking over and I want to teach the NBA a lesson. I don’t like being at the mercy of any organization and the simple fact I thought of things to do instead of watching the NBA upsets me – I just like the NBA that much.

I’m pissed because of what they did to their fans, how they handled this, and all of their employees that will be without jobs. I honestly hope we as fans force the NBA to scramble and make them earn our attention.

NBA – see you in 2013. Idiots.

Thoughts from a dunk contest: 2011

I had the pleasure of checking out the dunk contest last night (Thank you Corey) and we saw a guy dunk two basketballs, then “three” basketballs, and then man jump car which left me walking away with a few thoughts, and maybe ideas on how to go forth.

The Thoughts:

1 - Serge Ibaka: The man from Africa who was just as much glam as he was dunk used his first dunk attempt to launch from the free throw line. He did it, and it was a legit free throw line dunk. For whatever reason I think he garnered a 45, a 45!? He jumped free throw line! The thing with the free throw line is once Jordan cocked his legs back like he’s floating he changed the visuals of it. MJ flew, and everyone else is just jumping.

If you want the 50 from free throw, you need to figure out how to soar – not jump.

2 - The glam and the glitz: Too much of it. Please show me raw dunks. I think it’s cool to have a bunch of props but it’s turning into a Hollywood movie during summertime, just show me the academy awards and be better than everyone else.

3 - The many attempts: After Nate Robinson took 45 minutes to do 1 dunk a few years ago they changed the rule to allowing the dunkers just 2 minutes. Well, 2 minutes is too long. If you nail the dunk of the first try then it’s unexpected, spontaneous, and plain awesome. Allowing someone to try over and over lets the steam from the room.

I propose the new rule! If you miss your first 2 dunk attempts you are automatically deducted 1 point, the highest you can get is a 9.

4 - The score cards need to go lower than 8. Not sure if you realized it but the cards they hand out are 8 through 10. If you suck I want to give you a 3.

5 - The 3 ball dunk: NOT A 3 BALL DUNK. It’s funny because after JaVale McGee, from the Washington Wizards, dunked 2 balls on separate hoops and took 1:30 seconds I said “I want to see him dunk 3 balls.” Then sure enough he said he was dunking 3.

He successfully dunked 2 then John Wall bounced the 3rd to him. He may call it a dunk - I call it goaltending assist from J Wall.

6 - Allowing fans to “vote”: No, stop it now. I don’t care how interactive you want it to be. This is stupid, maybe allow them to have input but leave this to the judges.

7- Cee-Lo: Wears very bright clothing.

8 - The newest Golden Child of LA: Blake Griffin. Dude is awesome, just awesome. When he made it to the final round he did a dunk that was pretty incredible. Toss of the back board, catch and stuff his forearm deep in the hoop a la’ Vince Carter 2001.

Then… he jumped the hood of a car with Baron Davis giving him the assist. Also, he brought in the Compton choir to sing an R Kelly song while he dunked. I hate to say this but I wanted to see him jump the entire car.

The car jump was spectacular don’t get me wrong but his first dunk he made was on the first attempt and no props, and that’s why it was almost more incredible. I will say this: In the final round Blake Griffin made me forget someone was even going head to head with him. He had it won 2 weeks ago.

All in all I want to see the supreme athletes do things with no assistance and no flash. Show me something I can’t think of or do on a 6 foot hoop. And although I want to see more superstars in the dunk contest (Bron) I think this was a great job to pump some life back into it.

I love All Star Weekend.

It may not be wise to mock LeBron any more. Last night the Heat played the Magic and Dwight Howar

It may not be wise to mock LeBron any more. Last night the Heat played the Magic and Dwight Howard and co. decided to do a little Bron mock.

Little did they know he probably took offense because he decided to drop 51 pts, 11 rebounds, and 8 assists. I actually think LeBron is boring now simply because he’s playing next to D Wade who may actually be better than him, but still… come on, he’s Bron.

Has he really lost all respect, is he a joke?

Earlier this year Paul Pierce took a jab at him. Is the respect gone?

Sports Thought: Adam Morrison

I was watching the Laker game yesterday night and one questioned popped in my head - “What the Hell happened to Adam Morrison?” If you don’t know, Morrison was the 3rd overall pick in the draft a few years ago. Everyone thought he was the second coming of Larry Bird when he was playing at Gonzaga, not only because he sported shaggy hair and a mustache, but because he was A) White and B) Really good.

 Well, now he plays for the Los Angeles Lakers. I can’t imagine he plays more than 20 minutes in a entire season, he’s always on the bench. But here’s the thing, and this is the conclusion I came to yesterday night - he’s not your typical bench guy, he’s the Lakers Hype man. 

 If you don’t know what a Hype Man is, it’s the person getting the crowd going. Remember Joe C with Kid Rock?  That’s him, just when times are getting down the hype man picks you back up. This ties in  with Morrison, he plays the best role possible for the Lakers, he’s the DJ who hypes up the crowd and fills in the words when you forget them. He’s the first off the bench and he’s always running up to someone to give them a high-5! 

 He’s Adam Morrison the 2010 hypeman of the year.

I’m not sure how this happened to this guy because I think he’s much better than this, but every team needs this. Every time he checks in the game I expect him to drop 20 points and not miss a shot… maybe one day, but until then…. Adam “Hypeman” Morrison.