The mystery that is Aloe Vera.

It’s time we as people embrace one common fact – When you have a sunburn, telling someone that Aloe Vera works isn’t a new thing. In fact, we all know this. I think I’ve known about Aloe Vera since the age of negative 6, but when you have sunburn you inevitably have everyone around you tell you about this mystery substance that’s comparable to flubber.

Case in point: I went canoeing yesterday at big bear with my good friends Peter and Dan (side note about this… see below). As we hop on the canoe Dan is applying sunscreen, he asks “he do you want some?” I say “yes, I’ll grab it in a minute” and of course I never grab the sunscreen.

TIME LAPSE: Sun…Sun…Water…Sun…Fun…Sun…

Our fun at Big Bear ends and we come home, where I see my face and it’s tomato red. Dammit (By the way Dan has a great tan). I know I need to do something to combat my red face so I proceed to head to CVS pharmacy to pick up some Aloe Vera, why? Well, it’s simple – Aloe has been pumped in my mind by anyone and everyone post sunburn for years, if I’ve retained one piece of knowledge in my life it’s the benefits of Aloe Vera.

Next Morning:

Called my mom – “Mom I got burnt at big bear…”

Mom: “Oh honey, you know what you need? Aloe Vera. I literally once dripped the Aloe plant onto my sunburn and it worked right away.

Get to work:

Random buddy: “Bro, nice sunburn, you know what you need? Aloe Vera. Try that banana boat stuff.”

Another person:

“Oh, Josh you should get some Aloe Vera. But not the stuff with the alcohol, just the regular stuff.”

You get the point. So, to all you people who are going to suggest Aloe to anyone under the age of 10… don’t. We already know. Unless you know about the really good Aloe Vera, then tell all of us.

Side note from above: Check out www.intransit.tv for Pete and all great things travel. Next trip is canoeing down the Mississippi…

Thinking.

I just saw a movie – I wonder who’s in it? Checking the Internet movie database, oh yes of course, that one guy from that one thing. Well, since I’m on the computer I mine as well click a few more links and browse a little bit to check out Actors. Oh, this guy is in that one Oscar Wilde adaptation? Cool. Well, since I’m here I should click on Oscar Wilde, nice; a few quotes of his just came up, here’s one that sticks out –

“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all”

Yeah, no shit, Wilde. Wait, something just caught my attention, a link to t-shirts with quotes on them, and not just any quotes, I can look at all sorts of T-shirt quotes – funny, famous, characters etc… God, I love the Internet. Sure, I’ll take a look.

CLICK.

Oh no way, a link to more graphic T’s, here’s a funny one with a Velociraptor doing a rubix cube that says “Clever Girl”. Wow this is indeed very clever and also a pretty great quote from an even greater movie, you know I think I should send this link to my friend.

Open G-mail, pull up “compose” and then I see it – an advertisement discussing low euro rail passes. Well, this is great because I’ve been looking for cheap tickets for a trip I’m going to be taking.

CLICK.

Looking and browsing and checking all of the prices on various dates… What the hell, the euro rail has a Facebook page?

CLICK.

Oh I have a new message. Cool! My friend has a film in a festival and needs people to vote so it can get a high rating at the fest.

CLICK. (Voted).

Interesting, there’s a banner for another film with a familiar guy. Who is this guy? Internet movie database time, I’m back to the database and headline is talking about Zoolander 2.

CLICK.

Wait, I need to focus here for a second. And then it hit me, as a wise man that I once heard of named Oscar Wilde said: “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.” Am, I thinking for myself right now? Or am I scattered from information overload that I can’t complete simple tasks? But here’s the catch – All of this information is my interests and essentially placed in their spots due to my search preferences. I need to read that quote again because I’m starting to fear my past thinking for myself doesn’t have me thinking in the present.

The quote seemed simple enough but I’m coming to realize that my thinking is becoming progressively scattered. I’m not sure if it’s my natural personality to lose focus so quickly or the fact that I have so much great information at my finger tips that I’m gluttonous with what I want to see and learn, maybe it’s both. But either way I’m reaffirmed on how important thinking is, and on the flip side thinking too much can be a hamper, which leads to over analyzing and lack of decision-making.

I’m trying to connect these dots here and I’m not to certain what I’m exactly getting at here but I can sense it’s something, and I just need to think about it a bit.

Stallone: The Underrated

First name Sly. Last name Stallone. Actually it’s Sylvester Stallone but Sly just sounds better. Let me tell you about this guy because I think we take him for granted simply for one specific reason – when we think of him we think of him as an action guy. We think that he’s going to be killing someone or blowing up something.

However, I’m here to tell you why he’s the most underrated man in film with 3 examples.

#1: The Writer Stallone. Yes, that is correct, he writes screenplays, as a matter of fact can we please review some films on his resume:

Rocky
Rocky II
Rocky III
Rocky IV
Rocky V
First Blood
Staying Alive
Rhinestone
Rambo
Cobra
Over the Top
Cliffhanger

Oh! Wait, did I just write that correctly? Did I just see STAYING ALIVE in the mix of Rambo and Rocky? Yes, that is correct you did. Stallone wrote the film that some would argue put John Travolta on the map. Also, he wrote Rocky and uses roman numerals, which brings me too…

#2: The Man responsible for some of the greatest montages in cinema history. How could any human being forget the Rocky music (cue in your head) and then him training for the big fight? Specifically, how can we forget Rocky IV when Rocky fought Ivan Drago and he trained in the slums of wintery Russia while Drago trained in a facility built for Zeus. In all seriousness when I need a pick me up I still watch the rocky 4 montage (found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwvoTDoO9Hg)

I have a theory that Stallone’s Rocky montages changed the game on the modern day montage, especially with sports stories and anything to do with overcoming any obstacle. Think about it.

Stallone managed to show training in 8-10 minutes and pass a successful story in the montage, as well. Something always happens to Rocky in his montages and when he comes out he’s a better man for it, yes it’s the point of the montage, but Sly has nailed it. Speaking of nailing…

#3: Dude was in a porno. In 1970 a Broke Stallone needed some cash and filmed a porno called “The Party at Kitty and Studs”, which was released and was never seen. Then in 1976 when Rocky hit the scene the porno was rereleased and called “Italian Stallion” with Stallone as the headliner.

If this juicy nugget was released in the Internet era Stallone’s career would either be classified with Kardashian/Ray-J or dismissed like… err…umm… has anyone turned the cheek on a porn? Point is, it’s in the ether of film and yet, we’ve forgotten about it. Kudos Sly Stallone for being in a porno before being in a porno was cool.

Sarah Palin - are you kidding me? First – don’t ask me why I was watching this interview. Sec

Sarah Palin - are you kidding me? First – don’t ask me why I was watching this interview. Second - let’s not focus on the typical Palin (I’m disagreeing even though I don’t know why, but it feels like I should) comments. Lets focus on something ironic and something stupid.

The ironic: At 2:35 seconds Fox displays “Palin: Unplug the prompter. Do the job of governing.”

The stupid: Remember when Palin was caught with notes on her hand doing an interview? Apparently she forgot.

3:51 seconds - Palin lifts up her left hand only to reveal for a moment… YES… More Notes… Scribbled on her hand. Seriously?

I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I was watching this and caught it, or the fact that she has managed to out herself in a controlled environment, where she didn’t even need to expose her hand.

Handgate.

Nickname.

I just had a critical thinking session about nicknames and people that have them, I then dug a little deeper and thought of the origin of nicknames themselves. Then sat around for about 20 more minutes and thought why is it called a “nickname” or wait, is it “nicname” with no “K”? No, no, it’s with a K – the Internet told me so. And for the record when I finish reading this I’m going to head to Wikipedia and read all about the nickname origin.

I find this concept just awesome. People have a nickname like secret agents. The nickname is so personal simply because it defines you to individual groups as an extension of who you are. One moment you’re sitting in your office doing business then the next your buddy from college calls and says: “What’s up High Life” and the conversation goes on without missing a beat. (Note: My nickname is not High Life).

Also, you can have more than one nickname pending on what group of people you’re in. You could be “Killer” to Joe and Mike but you can also be “Smiley” to Sam and Todd.

Random mid thought note: Is the nickname just a guy thing? I don’t really think it is. I’ve known a few girls who call each other nicknames but for the most part they just call each other by their last name… I think. On that note I should say that calling someone by his or her last name doesn’t classify as a nickname.

Let’s take this one more notch because I feel as though I’m pigeonholing nicknames to people. Everything has nicknames: states (I’m from the Cheese State), towns (I live in the city of angels), sports teams, monuments, pictures… you get the point.

Basically, every human being should have a nickname. It’s an extension of you - it’s an alter ego to a certain extent. Your nickname is something to embrace, if you don’t have one I suggest you search deep and think about it. The nickname allows you to connect to those who know you have it… It’s your identity (yes, like Batman aka The Dark Knight).

For the record I’m fortunate enough to have a nickname. A few actually, friends who knew me had one for me and friends who know me have one, and like many nicknames it evolved as I did.

Sincerely,

Crazy Eyes.

Kidding! Not my nickname - I don’t have crazy eyes - I don’t think.

The Wikipedia Origin of Nicknames: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickname

Honking Guy.

Dear Guy who honks at women and then turns his head at a 49.3-degree angle checking them out on the sidewalk,

Honestly, has this ever worked? Does honking the horn of your Civic ever make a woman hop in your car?

Let’s play out best-case scenario just this once:

Step 1 - Guy Driving.

Step 2 - Guy see’s appealingly dressed woman walking on the side of the street.

Step 3 - Guy turns down his Akon, or turns it up.

Step 4 - Guy then honks at the girl.

Step 5- The girl turns simply because it’s a honk making eye contact Guy.

Step 6 - Guy stops and signals for girl to hop in the car.

Step 7 - The woman hops in the car.

Step 8 - Guy proceeds to indulge in whatever he thinks is going to happen and then drops the woman off at some random location, after the deed is done, calling his friends bragging about what just happened.

Now lets play out what happens 113% percent of the time:

Step 1 - Repeat steps 1- 5.

Step 6 – The girl shrugs and walks away creeped out.

Step 7 – Guy contemplates yelling something to the girl (any lame comment like “Hey Girl!”)

Step 8 – Guy drives away, turns up Akon and thinks it never happened. Or, if it did happened he mentally just had sex.

Getting back to the point – has any guy honker ever successfully picked up a girl? Come on? Seeing this happen actually makes me feel bad for females. Can’t the men just keep it to a head turn minus the honk, or a smile minus the headturn?

Either way, here’s to you creepy honking head turning guy. Godspeed. And to any woman who actually responded to this guy… Not sure what to say.