The Weekend When a World Series Apparently Happened.

I’ll just be honest – I think I’ve given up on wanting to like baseball. It’s almost shocking for me to even say this because growing up in Wisconsin produced sports culture 101 and going to Brewers games was a normal occurrence when I was a kid. I think the times have caught up to me and I find the sport to be boring. The true test is if “my team” was in the World Series, problem is, is that I don’t really have a team anymore. I root for the Brewers due to hometown pride, the Cubs due to parental nostalgic pride, and now the Dodgers due to… shit… close proximity?

Whichever team I end up rooting for, or not rooting for, the bottom line is that baseball needs to inject itself with steroids again. I tried to watch a bit of game 4 last night and nearly fell asleep. Also, I’ve never really noticed until recently but it’s fucking annoying with all the chewing and spitting that’s happening with 90% of the players. I feel like an old man (or woman) saying that but it’s true.

Baseball needs to speed things up otherwise they’re going to fade away into the world of irrelevance.

Prediction: In lieu of NBC recently winning the rights to the Premiere League, I think soccer… ahem… futbol… will take over the ratings from baseball in the future. This is going to piss a lot of people off.

By the way, casual Sunday night NFL beat the World Series in ratings last night.

Topic transition!!!

Speaking of NFL…

My Green Bay Packers. This season has been killing me. Almost watching them lose to Blaine Gabbert yesterday only helped the production of grey hairs on my head.

I had a conversation via text with my friend who said he thinks the coaching staff needs to be realigned and Mike McCarthy needs to get the boot. I think I may agree to a certain extent. Watching the Packers week in and week out just tells me that Aaron Rodgers is amazing and he bails out the poor coaching and lack of discipline from the team.

Topic transition!!!

Speaking of movies…

Okay not speaking of movies, but I think I should note that I saw Taken 2 and Paranormal Activity 4 this weekend. I’m not exactly sure how another sequel can be produced for either franchise from here on out but my god I’m curious. I’m absolutely aware that these films may not be as great as the original but I love when sequels come out and they do well. My thought is… If people are going to see it… do it. That may not be the popular opinion but it only makes sense and dives deeper into the human psychology for specific entertainment and comfort in what we know.

Topic transition!!!

One more thing about the Packers – They’re taking form of the 2010 Packers when they played pissed off come from behind football and won the Superbowl. The only things that scare me are injuries and Eli Manning.

Onward.

Thoughts and Advice: The Quarterback

It’s official. A couple days after the most watched Super Bowl / TV program of all time the NFL season has concluded. Truthfully, my season took a major hit somewhere around 5pm PST on January 15^th 2012. It was then that I watched super Eli torch the Packers the same way he did a few years ago, and I was once again reminded that it’s foolish to be so invested into something you have no control over. Am I masking my pain right now – Yes, probably.

Us Green Bay Packers fans were spoiled last year and by the out-of-nowhere Packers. We were spoiled with Aaron Rodgers nailing the Favre memory coffin and we were spoiled with a near perfect season…. Damn you for being so good then so bad! Who cares, it’s over time to move on and think of the 2012-2013, but truthfully part of me doesn’t want to think about it, I need a break. I can’t take losing any more bets and thinking about what could be… I’m taking a NFL sabbatical.

Before I stop talking about the NFL and put my efforts into more important things like movies, writing, reality TV, the Internet, and contemplating watching Justin Bieber’s movie on Netflix. I would like to give my advice on the most coveted position in the NFL: The Quarterback.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, where your QB goes, the team will follow. The new NFL coddling rules for a QB has made the position more important than ever. Having said that and moving forward I give you the:

Random Thoughts and Advice for the 2012-2013 starting QB’s of the NFL.

Arizona Cardinals - Kevin Kolb: Dude, I hope you stay away from the injuries and moving forward you need to stop thinking about all the hype you had going into the Cardinals season. Smile in your picture next year, you look miserable.

Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan: Change your name to Jack and channel your inner Tom Clancy.

Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flacco: I’ve always though Flacco could be named Flacman and have a legit chance of being a superhero somewhere. Just stay away from Ray Lewis.

Buffalo Bills – Ryan Fitzpatrick: We get it. You went to Harvard and have a massive beard, but the mystique has worn off. Shave that beard already.

Carolina Panther – Cam Newton: Probably one of the best rookies I didn’t watch. Newton is going to be a monster if he can stay healthy and everyone knows it.

Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler: Cutler watch out for Josh McNown… Yeah I’m just kidding. Cutler should start a new reality show with Kristen Cavalari and follow in the footsteps of Khloe and Lamar. HBO presents: (Insert anything here regarding Hard Knocks and Jay Cutler reality)

Cincinnati Bengals – Andy Dalton: Andy Dalton either sounds like a serial killer or everyone’s best friend… which is the trait of a serial killer!

Cleveland Browns – Colt McCoy: In the history of life has there ever been a more Texan name than Colt McCoy? Wait… he was born in New Mexico? But he went to Texas for college? Did he change his name midway through life just to fit in? Mind. Can’t. Compute. It was just meant to be. Last thing I remember is McCoy behind leveled in a game and playing through a concussion. Stay healthy.

Dallas Cowboys – Tony Romo:  I love Tony Romo for a few reasons: 1) He’s from Wisconsin. 2) He still sports starter gear like it’s 1995. 3) He kind of reminds me of Favre. Moving forward Romo needs to find any possible wide receiver that’s out there… Even T.O!

Denver Broncos – Tim Tebow: Will Tebow even be the starter next season? If so, for how long? I love this guy; he made the NFL amazing this year. My advice for Tebow is to ultimately ask himself for advice because he seems to have it all figured out.

Detroit Lions – Matt Stafford: The Staff-infection. Congrats on staying healthy this year, I hope (and dare you) to do it again.

Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers: Bring back the Title Belt victory “dance”! You had the best consistent celebration going until Timothy Tebow started Tebowing… Embrace your celebration! Don’t hide behind the discount double check commercials.

Houston Texans – Matt Schaub errr Matt Lienart errr T.J. Yates: Um seriously who is the starting QB? Can’t Arian Foster just play this position and get it over with?

Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning: Not sure what’s going to happen here. Is it going to be Andrew Luck? Peyton, my advice to you is go ask Eli what to do, he seems to know it all. But seriously, I think Peyton should join the Jets and allow the Mannings to own NY.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Blaine Gabbert: I love Gabbert basically because of his last name. I’ve seen Gabbert playing for a total of 3 minutes this year… and that’s via ESPN highlights.

Miami Dolphins – Chad Henne: Hmmm, don’t know much about Henne, just make room for Matt Flynn.

Minnesota Vikings – Christian Ponder: Remember Donovan McNabb? Remember Brett Favre before McNabb!? Ponder has never looked better.

New England Patriots – Tom Brady: Is Tom Brady going to go down in history as the guy who has a “but he…” on his resume? IE: Tom Brady was maybe the greatest quarterback ever but he always lost to Eli. Or, Tom Brady lost to Eli but he is married to Giselle so whatever.

New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees: Why do I feel like Brees plays for nothing? It seems like he should have come away with so much more this past season.

New York Giants – Eli Manning: In Eli I trust. He’s got a monster head - seriously he still looks like a little kid in that oversized helmet and if he’s anywhere close to the playoffs next year…. Watch out.

New York Jets – Mark Sanchez: I get the feeling that Sanchez is living the life right now but it’s starting to catch up to him. If he doesn’t perform next year I think he’s done. Advice to him: Don’t lose in NY.

Oakland Raiders – Carson Palmer: What are they going to do with the quarterback fiasco in Oakland, and how poorly did this past season play out for The Raiders? Palmer needs to get off the surfboard and start playing; I think next season is his last shot (kind of like Sanchez)

Philadelphia Eagles – Mike Vick: I get the feeling Vick is going to be amazing next year (don’t say a dog joke, don’t say a dog joke) if I were him I would lobby for a wide receiver. Vick is good but he needs someone who’s his prime target.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Ben Roethlisberger: Did Ben really think he was going to beat Tebow in the playoffs? Fortunately Tebow just wiped Ben’s sins away, meaning next year it looks like the Steelers will be back in the Super Bowl with Mike “don’t blink” Tomlin.

San Diego Chargers – Phillip Rivers: Rivers reminds me of a crazy Chucky doll for some reason. This guy needs to just keep yelling at people and I think he’ll be fine.

San Francisco 49ers – Alex Smith: Was this past season a fluke? Will Harbaugh consider taking over for Smith as the QB? I don’t watch many 49ers games but you know what this guy needs to do – run more, he’s deceitfully fast.

Seattle Seahawks – Tavaris Jackson: It took me a minute to remember that Hasselbeck isn’t their QB anymore. Jackson just needs to keep playing into the Pete Carrol’s system and he’ll be fine. I actually find this guy to be underrated.

St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford: Advice to you… hand the ball off as many times as possible.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Josh Freeman: Full discretion – I know nothing about the Bucs.

Tennessee Titans - Matt Hasselbeck:  Matt, you have a few years left… I still love you because you were an amazing back up on the Packers, and I’ll never forget your coin flip fuck up in the playoffs. Advice moving forward: Get out of Tennessee.

Washington Redskins – Rex Grossman: Why do I feel like this is one of the most dysfunctional teams in the NFL? Grossman needs to hand it off.

Words of wisdom from someone who is so irrelevant to a NFL player that it’s not even worth thinking about how far I’d fall on the totem pole. It’s my final assessment and my best chance to close the door on this NFL season only to wait for a key to arrive for next season. I’m genuinely happy for the Giants… it was a great season. Must. Focus. Elsewhere.

The Green Bay Packers 2012: I'm Confused

Wait. Wasn’t this supposed to be the 90’s all over again? Weren’t the Packers and 49ers supposed to meet in the playoffs and I could banter with my friends about living in the past and Jerry Rice fumbling? I thought it was, at least that’s where my arrogance was. Instead life reminded me that trends are recycled every 30 years and it’s the 80’s… Oh… whoops. Now I have to relive The Giants VS the 49ers, hmm I missed the memo on this one.

Yesterday was rough. It was so rough that I woke up a few times in the middle of the night unable to turn off my brain.

This is my exact text I sent my friend Alex at 4am this morning:

“I can’t sleep and I’m not happy. It was a good season… Confused …. Eh”

At 7:44am he got back to me:

“I’m trying not to think about it. It was a good season, but that was a terrible game. Worst they played all season.”

His text pretty much sums it up, it was the worst game they played all season. The worst part about it is that you could kind of see it coming, and you could definitely feel it coming. When I watched the Packers lose to the Chiefs earlier this season I felt the same way at half time, things just didn’t feel right. Those passes that they usually connect on just weren’t connecting. I was trying to stay positive during the game but deep down inside I knew this wasn’t happening. The Giants just looked better. Even my mom wrote me a text that said they didn’t look good… MY REALLY OPTOMISTIC MOM!

I need to push through this because it’s not that hard to diagnose, just hard to swallow. The Packers were just rusty and out of sync. The normal amazing shit that’s been happening since 2010 just wasn’t happening and if I may state the obvious – more dropped passes than that one really bad kid on the playground who you don’t throw too because he drops all the passes.

I need to write this out because I’m too cloudy to do it any other way…

Jermichael “I’m suddenly a headcase” Finley: He’s been dropping passes all season and it finally got to him. It’s as if every time Aaron Rodgers threw the ball to him some little voice inside his head said “DON’T MISS, DON’T MISS, DON’T MISS” then he dropped the ball.

Running Game: This is obvious, we haven’t had one all season.

You can’t spell Elite without Eli: Damn you Manning! Eli channeled his inner Peyton and picked apart the defense like he was in the Matrix and two steps ahead of everyone.

Oh yeah the Defense: For a defense that relies on letting everyone throw all over them because they’ll eventually pick it off, this didn’t exactly work this time around.

The Hail Mary: Tebow stepped on the field for a brief second and guided that pass right before the half into Cruz’s hands. I will toss this play into the category above. Seriously, how do NFL players let Hail Mary’s happen?

A Rodg: It seemed like Rodgers really wanted it yesterday. He was their leading rusher but the fact he couldn’t rely on anyone trying to catch a ball didn’t help.

If I had any control over anything: I would have said “Yo team, we’re going to throw the ball to Jordy Nelson and Donald Driver every single play. No, I’m not joking.”

Final Thoughts: Like I wrote the other day, I was worried about this game. Watching the playoffs reminded me that other teams are very good and you cannot afford to have a bad day, or even a bad quarter. Unfortunately, the Packers had 4 bad quarters. The Packers were rusty, too rested, and not prepared. I’m reminded of a quote that Mike McCarthy made when asked if they’re going for 16-0.

“We don’t play scared.”

Well, yesterday they looked like they were being chased by sloth from the Goonies, with a handful of confusion.

It’s moments like this that I need to remind myself that I had no control over the game, and even though I specifically went to the one sports bar that the Packers never lost at when I watched a game last season… I had no control!

Time to move on and get ready for the Manchester United VS Arsenal game next week on FOX!

Kidding. I’ll watch the NFC championships.

Final predictions: 49ers VS Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Oh wait, nevermind… A Manning is in the playoffs…

Giants VS Patriots in the Super Bowl with Peyton sitting in the box seats watching his younger brother on the brink of getting one more Super Bowl than him.

Full Discretion: I'm Slightly Worried About The Packers

I’m worried that the Packers had a bye week.

I’m worried that Aaron Rodgers was so good he sat out the final week of the season and may be rusty.

I’m worried that the Giants still have players on it that won the improbable Super Bowl in 2008.

I’m worried that if the Packers beat the Giants they face a team that I actually really like (get that out of your head). They face a team that is very good (get that out of your head). And lets be honest, the 49ers are in an odd way a Cinderella team even though they had a first round bye.

I’m worried that tomorrow FOX is going to broadcast some ridiculous stat saying the Packers are 76-1 in temperatures 34 degrees and under. What they aren’t saying is that they’re a lot worse when it’s 35 degrees.

I worried that even if the Packers make it to the Super Bowl they’ll probably have to face the Patriots (jumping ahead!) And the Patriots have a potent offense that I feel is changing the game; their tight ends are amazing.

I’m worried. Okay!

I’m worried that I’m worried.

Wasn’t I confident 2 weeks ago? Yes. But now the bad teams are weeded out and watching the good teams reminds me that the Packers actually have company. The odd part about my feelings are that I still have some lingering issues with Brett Favre, for some reason he has put a stamp of doubt in my head about the Packers, much like he did every time they played a game against anyone. I have to remind myself that Aaron Rodgers doesn’t make the same mistakes.

Reminder, Reminder, Reminder.

I’m not going to finish this off and say that win or lose they had a good season, the sports fan truth is that I want them to never lose again, but we know that can’t happen. I’m realizing I’m a tad bit invested, there was something great about last season and the miracle wild card run to the Super Bowl,  and now watching a team that has a bull’s-eye on their back is nerve-wracking, but at the same time it’s also a major compliment to have the bulls-eye.

I must forget about my worries and push forward… Tomorrow will be a major measuring stick for the Green Bay Packers. I’m excited, I can’t be worried. I must remind myself I have no control over the situation… Or do I? No, No, I can’t worry about control over a game that I’ll be watching on TV.

No matter what Sunday’s outcome is I will have to remind myself this is a great season - if they lose I’ll force that fact in my head. If they win… Well, I’ll worry about that later.

In Game Monday Night Football Blog... (Saints VS Giants)

3^rd quarter 1:11 seconds – Did anyone notice the guy painting a picture of Drew Brees … on the field? I can’t take any more emotional stories from The Saints - it’s impossible not to love them.

I don’t know why I haven’t turned off this game to watch last Sunday’s Boardwalk Empire.

End of the 3^rd Quarter: Anyone just see that dude with the big whistle as a hat… who was whistling. Next to him was a Saints fan wearing a Portland Trailblazers hat. Speaking of the Trailblazers… so happy the NBA is returning for a cameo this year.

Barry Sanders is on a commercial right now – part of me still thinks he could rush for 1,000 yards.

Start of the 4^th quarter… Woah, 72 yard Giants TD… comeback!?

The only thing that could stop the Packers and their pursuit for undefeated glory is if they rest their players a la Colts 09.

If you live in LA then you’ve seen this stupid Ford Jamal Anderson commercial. What the fuck is this?

I can’t believe Dennis Miller was once a commentator on Monday Night Football, what the hell were they thinking?

Just saw Sproles speed down the field – how quickly have The Saints forgotten about Reggie Bush?

Is there any part of the San Diego Chargers that miss Drew Brees?

Does Darren Sharper still play for The Saints? Was he better with the Saints or The Packers? I’m going to say the Pack… Bias opinion of course.

There is something badass about Sean Payton standing injured on the sideline calling plays.

WOW. Jimmy Graham just got bent backwards. Holy shit.

Gonna wrap this up, The Saints are showing no signs of slowing down. Current score is 35-17 with 11:02 in the 4^th. Final score prediction: 49-27 (If the Giants are lucky).

To my buddy Ottford who is praying Eli Manning doesn’t throw to Nicks anymore for fantasy football purposes - I feel like you’ll win this, don’t worry (You have the power of Tebow).

Whoops – just going to post this and The Saints scored again in the last 10 seconds. New score prediction: 95-27.

Um...Baseball?

It’s the eve of the historic midterm election and I think I’m asking the question that everyone is thinking: What happened to baseball? Did anyone even know the World Series was on tonight? The Giants VS The Rangers. I was more focused on watching Monday Night Football than I was the final game of the World Series where the Giants finally won for the first time in 50 plus years.

But seriously, what happened to baseball? Maybe what happened is the wrong question. We all know that baseball is a slow sport, if you hit the ball more than 30 percent of the time you’re considered great. That leaves us with 70 percent of boring strike outs and a handful of pitches that don’t seem too impressive from a TV point of view. Boredom, that’s what happened. Let’s break this down for a second.

When I grew up in the 80’s baseball was king. What kid didn’t look at the back of a baseball card to check the stats of their favorite player? In the 80’s it seemed that the aura of baseball still lived on, even sort of in the 90’s. Late 90’s early 2000’s we got the steroid induced years that re-energized baseball and somehow now it’s faded - it seems.

So what happened? Well, it’s pretty simple: the sport is too slow. When did it happen? Sometime in the last 20 years. How did it happen? I think it starts with the Internet. It starts with the way we need our information now: GO GO GO GO. Basball isn’t that – Football is, Basketball is, and even Soccer is. Baseball is an “old man’s” sport, it’s for the guy who wants to keep stats at the game, and it’s for the nostalgic guy who says “back in my day.”

It’s unfortunate to some degree. I foresee baseball making a major change over the next 10 years. Unless 3-D TV can somehow pump life back into the deflated ball there are going to be some major changes. Our record books of baseball are going to be dated like B.C. and A.D. and we’ll one day talk about how things were so different, there may even be a time limit on games one day.

However as this change happens I think it’s important to note that there is no experience like going to a baseball game. I’m the new old man who has nostalgia when I think of ballparks, and because of that I hope 3 things never change in the game of baseball. I give you the 3 prerequisites of a live ballgame:

1) It is mandatory to bring a glove to the ballpark if you’re under the age of 15.
2) It is mandatory to order peanuts.
3) It is mandatory to order a beer if you bring your child to a game…or if you’re over the age of 21.

In the world of ratings baseball has no choice but to adapt. But my God I hope the 3 nostalgic prerequisites never falter.

(Congrats Giants)