Return Of The Post.

To say that I’ve been absent from posting on this site may be an understatement. Seems like I stopped writing posts and transitioned solely into occasionally posting videos. Then the videos tailored off, and now I’m left as the guy who used to write a blog. Arguably it’s bad enough having a blog, let alone a blog you don’t use. However, it’s been for good reason. I’ve been held up writing (excuses!!!). I’m going to do my best to get back on here, as a matter of fact I’m going to cheat and have another post following this one… a video about writing… which, is a paradox of this joshford website.

I’m stepping away to contemplate story ideas and life. Trying not to overthink life more than I already do.  Also, I’m off to watch the Packers VS Patriots, I’m already stressed.

Aaron Rodgers

This will be my last desperate (and maybe pathetic) attempt to push the Green Bay Packers into the throats of any football fan. I’m well aware this is Seattle / Denver week, and I’m also well aware that I’m partially delusional to hold the Packers on such a large pedestal as I currently do. Lets be real, they’ve been getting their asses kicked for the last three years. Oh wait, what a perfect segway!

But first, a disclaimer: I love the Green Bay Packers. I really do. I have professional football love for Aaron Rodgers, and did I mention I love the Green Bay Packers. That’s why it kind of kills me to write this…

There aren’t many players in the NFL with distinct badass football moves. When I say moves I mean celebrations, not jukes, or hurdles that running backs do. We’re talking very specific association with one action and one player. The few that come to mind are Colin Kapernick kissing his dumb bicep, Cam Newton doing his Superman thing, and… wait. Is that it? I think it may be. But there used to be one more and it was Aaron Rodgers doing the “Title Belt” which somehow is now associated with State Farm Insurance as the “Discount Double Check” and this really pisses me off.

I hate to say this but, Aaron Rodger sold the fuck out (and not in the good way). Not only did he sell out but he stripped us all of seeing him toss a fake WWE belt around his waste for the next god knows how many years. We’ve lost the arrogance that any good celebratory move has. If you were or are a wresting fan you know how important “moves” are, it’s a calling card. It’s a moment for all of us to say, “oh shit, Aaron Rodgers is about to do something crazy”.

The mind blowing thing about all of this is that the Aaron Rodgers was literally set up to be stuck with the “Title Belt” association forever. If we recall, Clay Matthews draped a fake WWE belt over his shoulder when they won the Superbowl (picture above). He was primed to be stuck with it! What happened!? Why’d he sell it to State Farm Insurance!? Why’d he just give away the rights to something so great!? WHY!?

Was it the money? Maybe, but two years after he became associated with the belt he got the best contract in NFL quarterback history.  He had to know something big was coming, right? Or is that naive of me? Was it the fact he didn’t want to be associated with the WWE? Maybe, but I doubt it, because he wouldn’t have done the belt gesture in the first place. Was it the fact that he was hooking up his buddy at State Farm? No, probably not.

You know the worst part about all of this? It’s that he doesn’t even do the move anymore, he just stopped. He allows some moron on TV to do in front of him. He literally sold out, and I don’t know if he expected so many people to pick up on this but they did, and it sucks because we’ve been stripped of happiness, and I feel deep down he wants to do it. NAY, not think, he does want to do. Just watch his reaction against the Bears.

So what’s the deal? Why’d he go State Farm? How did this happen? Is it a coincidence that once he stopped the “Title Belt” they’ve been going down hill? God, I just can’t get into that.

Aaron Rodgers sold out. But not just sold out, he sold a longterm move, he sold an association. He stripped millions of kids around the world doing something awesome when they score a touch down on the playground. These kind of things come along once every so often so to see it is special, especially when it happens organically - that’s even more special. Dammit it pisses me off.

Go Packers.

Oh God, I just found this and it break my heart: Shit!

Packers VS 49ers: The Aftermath

Well, that was painful. Not sure I want to go through that every again. I started the game telling myself that I’d do a liveblog because I wanted to document my ups and downs. It only took about half of the first quarter to realize there was not a fucking chance I’d be able to multi task and things weren’t looking great for my Packers. I turned my computer off (grabbed my phone) and stared at my TV screen while pacing and being a fan from the Midwest. Wait. Shit. This feeling sucks.

I can’t think. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to think about Jim Harbough on the sideline, Colin Kapernick running, that dude Hyde who dropped a 4th quarter interception, Colin Kapernick running, Packers injuries, Colin Kapernick running, dropped balls, the entire first quarter, and Colin Kapernick.

Damn. This one stings. Fortunately I’m a *tad bit older and wiser and I won’t go into a shit fit like I would've done a few years ago. The Packers took one on the chin, again. Kapernick owns the Packers and it kills me to say it, but I won’t hide from the truth! I can’t. I’m about to cry.

Fuck it. It’s just football. Onward 2014.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Actually, just one final thing: I had a text thread going with a few people. Specifically my good friend, DJ. This was his final text to me:

Bad play calling in the first quarter came back to haunt us. Dumb, stupid, conservative McCarthy play calling. 

Can’t say I disagree with that. Honorable mention for his text that came an hour earlier:

There is something to be said about pre-mixing Micheladas for Packers games. 

Can’t say I disagree with that either.

Packer Playoffs and the return of Lost Hope.

Coffee (check), Packers socks on (check), plopped down on my couch (check), attempt to figure out how to Live Blog on wordpress but couldn’t successfully do it (check), lucky Twitter picture ready to be reposted if need be (check), nervous (sort of check), anxious (check check check). 

Packers game starts in about 30 minutes and I couldn’t be more excited. All of my irrational thoughts throughout the season lead to this game, I love it. That’s the beauty of sports. The fact that we can get a “winner” and “loser” is always the best kind of conclusion. There is definitely a finality to the world of sports, and I’m okay with that. 

I’m not totally sure if it’s the coffee or my nerves but I’m having trouble focusing on this post. Maybe a combination of both. However, I’d like to just express and come clean that there was one point in the season where I lost hope. It happened right after the Lions blew out the Pack on Thanksgiving. I specifically remember telling my friend they should rest Aaron Rodgers and call it a day, there is no way they’re making it to the playoffs. Well, shit. Here we are. I feel like a loser, a man that for a moment became the emotional sports fan that I am. 

I wanted to admit that. Clear my soul of all impurities pre game. I wanted to acknowledge that the hope I once lost has returned and I can't be a stupid fickle loser fan who leaves his team when they're down. I should have never doubted life. 

I feel good about this game. Oddly. Whatever the outcome of this game… I really hope Colin Kapernick doesn’t go berserk on the Packers. I don’t know if I can live through that again. 

Go Packers.

Love/Hate Relationship: The NFL

I can’t believe what I’m about to type but I’m going for it anyway; I can foresee a day when I don’t watch the NFL anymore.

If you don’t currently know this, I’m a massive Green Bay Packers fan. When Brett Favre tossed an interception against the New York Giants during the 08-09 playoffs I cried. My friend Alex and I had mental breakdowns. We collectively went into the parking lot of our apartment and drank, bitched, groaned, screamed, and then drunkenly patted each other on the back. It was a low point in my life. I was 25 years old. I was a total loser.

The following morning Alex and I agreed that we loved the Packers too much (if there is such a thing) and both said we had to bring it in a little bit, and from that moment I did kind of bring it in. I dialed down my love, which actually translates to: I don’t drink that much during football games.

Years later I’m the slightly mature version of that human that once was, but I can feel the earlier version of me creeping back into my system. Last week when I found out Clay Matthews was injured I was pissed, then to see Randall Cobb, and James Jones get taken out in the same game I was irate. I went on a rant to anyone who would listen, only to be hit with the realization that I hate injuries in a football game. They’re obvious, common, and still infuriating.

I get it, injures are part of any sport, but the NFL seems to be leading the injury market… obviously. It’s a full contact “I want to rip your head off now” sport. I get it. I get that the NFL is a team sport. I get all the obvious things you could say but there is a growing issue inside of me that is having an adverse reaction to the NFL. The injuries are causing me to actually dislike the sport, for two reasons really. First reason being based solely on how brutal it is, the second reason because it causes the NFL to be completely sporadic.

I realize injuries have always been around but lately it’s really affecting me. Maybe it’s the media and the constant covering of sports. Maybe it’s the sports media constantly talking about neck injuries. Maybe it’s the sports media constantly talking about how to hit in the NFL. Maybe it’s the effing media! Maybe… But maybe not.

My awareness of how injuries impact a NFL game is literally hurting my viewing experience. Not only am I rooting for my team to properly execute, but also I’m rooting for my team to make it through the full 60 minutes without a serious injury. This inevitably makes me question whether I can put up with an extra layer of rooting.

Oh wait, shit, maybe I’ve reverted into the old version of me more than I thought. Are my emotions taking over? Is there any way to be more pragmatic about this approach? Am I just hiding my overbearing emotions somewhere deep in my soul? Is this normal?

So many questions, such little time. Hopefully I can one day find a perfect harmony to this balance but I think that means taking another step away from football and not care as much. If I keep taking these steps away I’m going to eventually find myself further away than I ever thought, unfortunately, I can envision this happening.

Until then… Go Packers.

Oh, and hopefully Jermichael Finley recuperates while he’s in the ICU from the neck injury he experienced yesterday. Effing, football.

The Greg Jennings Fall From Grace.

Ahhhhh, yes, football season, welcome back. I feel good about things. I’m ready to overly engage in minute details and look at everything as absolutes. This is the life of a football fan. I’m not proud of it, but it’s just the way it is. Oh, in case anyone has forgotten I’m a Green Bay Packers fan. Lets just jump right into this…

Greg Jennings recently signed with the Vikings. Cool. Happy for the guy, I’d take more money too. Then he started to talk about Aaron Rodgers and that he’s basically unapproachable due to his stigma and the Packer organization is basically afraid to point at him when things go wrong. Okay, fine, that’s cool. But now this —

A quote from an article I read on NBC:

“When I came over here, I was kind of brainwashed, there’s no ‘kind of’ to it. Being over in Green Bay, you’re brainwashed to think anyone in the division is tiers below. And so coming over here I meet the people within the organization and I’m like, ‘Wow, these are really great people.’”

And —

“It’s like everything that you know in Green Bay is like the best, the best, the best, the best, the best,” Jennings said. “And it’s like total brainwashing. And I think you don’t open your eyes to see what other teams have to offer unless you are in that position.”

Dude, what? What happened to this guy? How much did he hate being in Green Bay?

First off, this quote about meeting great people in another organization and seeming like he’s surprised. Huh? You’re a grown man that travels to play football for a living; you never met cool people in other places?

Secondly, I’ve been to Green Bay just once for a Packers game. The place is small as shit and I feel that being in the smallest market in the NFL an organization needs to implement some form of mindset like “win win win.” The Packers (fortunately) have been good or fun to watch for the last 18 years (give or take a few years). If you’ve ever been Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin, which is a suburb of Green Bay, and also the location of Lambeau field then you’d know that the Packers are the pride and glory. That mindset Greg Jennings is cutting down is crucial.

I still like the guy, he seems like a good dude and is a good football player. But come on, let it go. He’s starting to seem desperate.

-Enter girlfriend analogy about having remorse so you keep cutting her down because you secretly love her still-

I love Football season.

Good Bye Packers Season... And Probably The NFL.

Well. Shit.

Lets rewind for a second and return to Saturday…

It all started when I was walking with my friend to a terrible Hollywood bar called “The Tavern.” Terrible for the service, not really anything else. As we were walking my friend said, “Hey do you know whose winning the Broncos game?” I said, “no.” It was at that moment I realized, I don’t really care about other games, and I’m probably not going to care about football if the Packers lose.

This thought scared because this is what I call… The 2007 zone.

The 2007 Zone:

In 2007 Brett Favre was in his final year and the Packers were doing work on the Giants in the NFC Championship game. In what can only be described as overtime madness the Giants proceeded to beat the Packers 23-20, which sent me in to a tailspin of hell. That night I proceeded to drink more than Charlie Sheen and argued with anybody. I was irrational. I was angry. But most importantly, I was embarrassed the next morning.

I called my friend and I told him I couldn’t get like that again, ever! He agreed. And I didn’t. It was my unofficial Frank The Tank moment.

I digress…

When we arrived to the Tavern the Broncos game was coming to its unbelievable conclusion. The Broncos were about to lose on an improbable bomb from Matt “Jack” Ryan. Two guys, who were Broncos fans, and their girlfriends, who probably don’t care about sports, were sitting across from us. Watching them watch the game was basically foreseeing a domestic violence incident. These guys were pissed. At one point one of the guy’s girlfriends tried to kiss him and he batted her hand away. It was one of those moments where you could have swooped in on the girl and stole her from her boyfriend simply because the guy looked so fucking stupid.

I leaned over to my buddy and said “Dude, I really hope I don’t feel like these guys when our game is over.” He agreed and we had a nice laugh. But then it hit me - Watching these guys depressed in all their glory reminded me… The 2007 Zone. I mentally prepped for the worst-case scenario. I should have seen it coming. These guys were an omen.

And then it happened…

Colin Kaepernick decided to go Bo Jackson Techmo Super Bowl on everyone and he ran the Packers in circles. It was a difficult thing to watch. The last time I watched a Packers playoff game and felt so helpless was when Mike Vick crushed them in 2003 at home. I knew Kaepernick was going to be a problem, I felt it, I just didn’t realize how big of a problem and I still felt good about the game.

900 rushing yards later the game was over. At the start of the 4th quarter I asked my stupid waitress to close out. I wanted to bail and not deal with what was happening but apparently someone misplaced my credit card. Watching them try to find this thing was excruciating. It took about 20 minutes to track down and in that time I was surrounded by TVs and 49ers fans, all I wanted to do was run. It felt like one cruel joke. The Packer Gods wanted me to absorb what was happening.

The absorption and my stupid waitress may have been the best thing that happened to me. I realized that as much as I hated the game I’m fortunate it didn’t end like the Broncos game. I’m not sure I could’ve handled that. But I could handle this. I made peace knowing that the Packers got it handed to them. It was another game in a seemingly never-ending cycle of emotional ups and downs. I realized that I pretty much have moved on from the 2007 zone, I’ve grown. Fucking time does crazy things to a person.

The Packers season ended and so did my football-watching season. Every year I go through this push and pull. I wonder why I like sports and why I waste my time. I don’t know if I can go through another season of this. I wonder how long my push and pull love hate with sports will last. Hopefully I’ll come to terms sooner or later.

Damn you, sports.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin: Holiday and Culture

The combination of a mother who doesn’t think I eat enough and the culture that is (most of) Wisconsin has created the perfect storm of complete and total over fucking indulgence… I wish I didn’t drop an F-bomb right there but I needed it for emphasis.

Quick backstory - I left Wisconsin and moved to Los Angeles to find a career, or really any job in the entertainment industry. It took a while to figure out what the hell I was doing and I’ve often wondered if I should have prepped myself a bit more before I blindly moved. The truth is: a) nothing can “prepare” you for a move to LA and b) The other part to why I moved so quickly was because of the lifestyle I was living.

I was drinking and eating as though it was the final days of the world. A glutton who lay on a bed and was served s’mores dipped in grease and then deep fried then wrapped in cheese while I washed it down with a Keystone Light. Okay, no, not really, but almost really. I was eating but mainly because I was drinking so much, and yes, it was Keystone. Of course I was drinking so much – I was in college and this was Wisconsin.

To honestly understand the culture is to live in the Midwest, it’s difficult to express if you don’t experience it. During my early 20’s in Milwaukee I may have spent more days blacked out than I did coherent, and it felt okay, not because it was okay but because I was just one of many doing it. I thought that’s how college was but actually it’s how Milwaukee was.

Wait, am I talking about Milwaukee or having a mini intervention right now?

At some point I knew I wanted to move and I also knew I needed to stop living how I was living. I imagined my liver probably was that of a 75-year-old man and my brain was becoming deformed. So I booked it to Los Angeles and started doing coke… KIDDING. I chilled out and essentially continued on with my life in a culture that I preferred.

Over the last 7 years or so I’ve come to appreciate Milwaukee for all the things that I missed while I lived here, which is standard protocol for just about anyone who returns to somewhere. It took me a minute to realize that the culture is more than just getting black out drunk. Having said that… Drinking is still a MASSIVE part of Milwaukee and there is no getting around that.

Regardless - it’s holiday season 2012 and I’m back. I guess I’m a little wiser and I’m definitely older and I’m fully prepared to embrace the things I once couldn’t handle. The culture that I once was being tornadoed in is no more. It’s not as though I stopped drinking or something, it’s just that I’m aware of what the hell can happen to me, I’ve been down that road before.

Fuck it. Bring it on, Wisconsin. Bring on the Packers, Bucks, not the Brewers, the cold, the cold forcing me to stay inside and do nothing, the booze, and did I mention the Packers? This is a culture to embrace head on like you’re staring down a bull, and just like staring down a bull - if you’re able to coherently discuss it after it’s over, then you’ve succeeded.

The Weekend When a World Series Apparently Happened.

I’ll just be honest – I think I’ve given up on wanting to like baseball. It’s almost shocking for me to even say this because growing up in Wisconsin produced sports culture 101 and going to Brewers games was a normal occurrence when I was a kid. I think the times have caught up to me and I find the sport to be boring. The true test is if “my team” was in the World Series, problem is, is that I don’t really have a team anymore. I root for the Brewers due to hometown pride, the Cubs due to parental nostalgic pride, and now the Dodgers due to… shit… close proximity?

Whichever team I end up rooting for, or not rooting for, the bottom line is that baseball needs to inject itself with steroids again. I tried to watch a bit of game 4 last night and nearly fell asleep. Also, I’ve never really noticed until recently but it’s fucking annoying with all the chewing and spitting that’s happening with 90% of the players. I feel like an old man (or woman) saying that but it’s true.

Baseball needs to speed things up otherwise they’re going to fade away into the world of irrelevance.

Prediction: In lieu of NBC recently winning the rights to the Premiere League, I think soccer… ahem… futbol… will take over the ratings from baseball in the future. This is going to piss a lot of people off.

By the way, casual Sunday night NFL beat the World Series in ratings last night.

Topic transition!!!

Speaking of NFL…

My Green Bay Packers. This season has been killing me. Almost watching them lose to Blaine Gabbert yesterday only helped the production of grey hairs on my head.

I had a conversation via text with my friend who said he thinks the coaching staff needs to be realigned and Mike McCarthy needs to get the boot. I think I may agree to a certain extent. Watching the Packers week in and week out just tells me that Aaron Rodgers is amazing and he bails out the poor coaching and lack of discipline from the team.

Topic transition!!!

Speaking of movies…

Okay not speaking of movies, but I think I should note that I saw Taken 2 and Paranormal Activity 4 this weekend. I’m not exactly sure how another sequel can be produced for either franchise from here on out but my god I’m curious. I’m absolutely aware that these films may not be as great as the original but I love when sequels come out and they do well. My thought is… If people are going to see it… do it. That may not be the popular opinion but it only makes sense and dives deeper into the human psychology for specific entertainment and comfort in what we know.

Topic transition!!!

One more thing about the Packers – They’re taking form of the 2010 Packers when they played pissed off come from behind football and won the Superbowl. The only things that scare me are injuries and Eli Manning.

Onward.

Well... That Was Fun

 

I guess the NFL has reached an agreement with the refs, eliminating the replacement refs. Just to be clear I’m a Packers fan and after last Monday’s debacle I wrote this and told myself I was done with football until they came back because I felt like I deserved better.

So… they’re back. I had a good run of resting my mind from football. For a few hours I was actually excited to detach and not watch football on Sunday. I thought of the end of The Cable Guy when everyone starts to read when the cable goes out – that was going to be me.

This Sunday I planned on reading books and saving the world, maybe knitting a blanket, feeding homeless animals, and feeling as though I really earned the day. I suppose I can still do that, but will I? Realistically I will be watching football and yelling at my TV like I know more than everyone.

I had a good two-day run of day dreaming what my life would be like without football during football season – it looked good. Instead of relating to the final scene in The Cable Guy I’m relating to this…

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPw-3e_pzqU&w=560&h=315]

I'll detach someday...

The NFL: I'm Done.

 

For the sake of attempting to keep this clean I am replacing the F bomb with the word “flipper.” Not only is he a friendly mammal but also, well… it’s Flipper.

Monday Night Football. Green Bay Packers VS Seattle Seahawks 9-24-12. The replacements refs just blew a call, and a game.

I’m flippering done with the NFL. I just wasted the last 3.5 hours of my life watching a game that ended in a blown flippering call that was clearly the wrong call. Let’s be clear about something, the Green Bay Packers won that game, but there is a bigger issue here. That issue being the idea of the NFL and what it is.

Multiple sports players have made it clear that the NFL is a business. When us fans get upset when their favorite player jumps ship to another team or an organization cuts a great player it’s chalked up to being a “business” see Brett Favre and Peyton Manning for this. But they’re right, it is a business, but flipper this business.

This business strives on its fans and its loyal following. It strives on its superstar players like Tom Brady, Drew Brees, and Aaron Rodgers. It strives on excitement and the idea of a national pastime. But you know what, it’s a flippering business, and the reality is, is that they don’t care about us as much as we care about them… which is fine… sort of.

I think the NFL has reached its tipping point tonight. An obvious blown call that cost a team (Packers) a game in a 16 game season is hard to swallow. From a fans point of view I want better. I put too much time and effort to watch a football game to watch what I just watched.

As a collective group of fans we should stop watching the garbage that’s being spewed every week, it’s unfair. I cannot even imagine from the players point of view or the coach’s point of view where each game could be the difference between a bonus and an extension – it’s their livelihood, as it should be… it’s there passion.

Coming full circle, I’m done. I’m done watching my favorite team. I’m done supporting a business that won’t put its best in a position to allow others to succeed. I’m not going to waste my time anymore to watch this flippering garbage. Something that can be determined by fluke or questionable calls is not what I want. I want better, we all should expect better. I will not exert any more energy to spend money or time to watch this, I can’t.

I don’t support businesses that suck. I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve been the fool too many times when dealing with the NFL. If the NFL wants to tout this business thing whenever something major happens as though us fans are so stupid to think otherwise then we should treat them the same way, fans deserve better, not what is happening right now.

Today I mark it. The day after the Packers and Seattle debacle on Monday Night Football I mark the day that I stop going out of my way to support the NFL. Truthfully, I wish I wasn’t fully committed (and kicking ass I might add) to my fantasy football team otherwise I could fully detach. But I will still be somewhat into football simply because I have to be.

Until the NFL starts giving me it’s best I’m not willingly giving it any more of me.

I hope that players have some kind of mutiny and decide not to play, I hope the NFL figures out how to get the normal officials back on the field, I hope that this travesty of blown football games doesn’t happen anymore. These replacement refs are total flippering shit and they represent the NFL. Until the NFL changes the replacement refs then the NFL should be considered flippering shit.

Flipper you NFL for being who you are. You suck. You should be ashamed of your product.

Flipper!

(The Packers won that game in my book)

Seattle 14 – Packers 12 ********** (Asterisk Game)

What Will Happen Tonight: Packers VS Seahawks

 

I’m looking into the very near future.

I’m pretty excited for Monday Night Football tonight and figured that some people out there may want to watch “Revolution” on NBC, if you do get caught watching Gus Fringe kicking ass and forget to DVR the game, don’t worry. This is what will happen…

Matt Flynn and Aaron Rodgers share a moment before the game and Flynn can’t believe he isn’t the starting quarterback for the Seahawks.

The Green Bay Packers offense wakes up and Aaron Rodgers tosses 3 touchdown passes with 0 int’s.

Speaking of the offense Cedric Benson is going to remember how to play football and score a touchdown.

Russell Wilson is going to look good at times but ultimately end up throwing 2 ints before the half… Matt Flynn is going to want to play in the game.

I’m going to be reminded by how much I love Gruden and Tirico as announcers and how much Cris Collinsworth annoys me… even when he’s not commentating a game.

Aaron Rodgers brings back the belt! (I wish).

I’m going to be reminded that I don’t know any players on Seattle except for Flynn, Wilson, and Marshawn Lynch.

Packers win 34-17

(Former) Arrogant Packers Fan

 

Green Bay Packers VS San Francisco 49ers: Sunday, Sept 9th 2012

There is 1:30 left in the third quarter of the Packers VS 49ers game but it doesn’t take a genius to state the obvious – the Packers are sluggish and they’re going to lose.

It’s amazing how football is such an extreme minded sport. When I say “extreme” I mean we as football fans are conditioned to view things in extremes and absolutes. You’re either up or you’re down, you’re rarely in between, and when you’re up you’re REALLY up, and when you’re down you’re REALLY down.

A few months ago, before the season actually started, I was up, really up, so up that I wrote this. I thought the Packers were going to have a 14-2 season, only losing back-to-back games late in the season. Shit. I was very wrong. After watching this team I think they’re going to be more like 10-6, maybe even 9-7. No, I take that back, I can’t do 9-7, I can’t even think about that.

What I can think about is that this Packers team looks absolutely no different from last season and neither do the 49ers. The Packers are essentially built on finesse. They try to intercept everything and slap the ball from everyone’s hands. They play very free, and when it works it’s a beautiful thing. The 49ers on the other hand are built on smash mouth football. They’re a team that’s almost mechanical in their actions aka very good coaching. This finesse free balling play may not be the best way to play, but the problem is… it’s all the Packers have.

As I write this Randall Cobb just scored on a punt return. Did those officials just screw up again? Maybe. The Packers may have just inserted themselves back in this game, but I think it may be fools gold. I also just decided to turn this into a running emotional game watching experience that may end in me tossing this computer against the wall. My running emotional Packers VS 49ers log: The 4th Quarter. Time remaining is on top. 11:16 15-23: Jordy just tied it up with a 2 point conversion.

A few quick random thoughts about this whole experience as I prepare for the Packers to kick off… Are the Nike Logo’s backwards? Should I get off of social networking if the Packers actually lose so I don’t have to hear from all my friends? Why are so many Packers players are in commercials? I wish they stopped showing this 49ers guy with the bloody nose. Jermichael Finley is such a liability. 49ers driving. 10:50: Is Frank Gore doing anything? Why did I pick him up on fantasy football?

10:10: 3rd down: This is huge. SHIT Gore just got the first. They marked him short but I’m sure he got it. These officials are terrible. Oh wait, maybe the officials were right, it’s under review. I love being a fan from home; it’s so easy to be right, even when you’re wrong. I stand corrected; the officials prevail (sorry official’s).

49ers punt. Packers driving. 8:50: Aaron Rodgers tosses an interception. Fuck. That was a Favre pass to absolutely nobody. Unreal.

49ers driving: 8:50: 15-30: Gore just ran in a 23-yard touchdown. How horrible. I wish I didn’t talk about my fantasy team, I think I just jinxed the Packers nation.

I wish I could stop writing this right now. I want to turn the game off, fuck! I feel like I need to see this through right now. I was fooled by a missed call on a punt return.

Packers driving. 8:36: Another dropped pass. Another late flag.

7:30: Big 3rd down. I feel okay right now…

James Jones just had a very big play. Still, so late in the game.

7:02: Another good catch by Jones. Why the shit do the Packers even try to run the ball? They have no run game.

6:05: Touchdown Jones!! See comment above.

Random text messages from my buddy Ottford:

Jones>Finley

I completely agree with Ottford. 22-30: I suppose there is a still a game here, but it’s much closer than I want and the 49ers are just way to consistent.

49ers are driving. 4:02: Monster sack from Clay Matthews, which means we have a huge 3rd down. Oh God.

Nervous.

Nervous.

3rd and 17.

Nervous.

4th down! Green Bay uses their final time out. 3:45 left.

Green Bay driving. 3:37: Oh. My. God. Near interception. Is A Rodg nervous?

3:28: Oh. My. God. The sequel. A Rodg is sacked.

3rd and 9

Pass to Cobb, 1st down! Man, Cobb is killing it today.

Time is flying right now. Finley just caught another pass. Wait, did I just write that he caught it and it didn’t bounce off his hands like that little kid in Little Giants? Yes! He caught it!

Alright. We’re headed to the two-minute warning. The harsh reality is that even if the Packers score we need to score the two-point conversion, which just scares me. But there’s a chance…

2 minutes left…

1:53: Rodgers just scrambled and he’s the Packers leading rusher - my hands are clammy.

1:40 seconds and counting – it’s 3rd and 17.

Shit! It’s 4th down. Dksjfa;lksflkajsl;fkjsdkl;fjlkasjfkl;ajsdf;kljsaklfjklsadjfakl;kljdfl ;akjlkjsldkjg;sdlkfgjs;kldfjgskldjfg;ldfjgsl;dkjgsl kdjfgl;sdj;glkjdlkjg;sdkjglk;sjdg;lkjdfkgjs; Game over. The 49ers just won this game. Final take away:

The Packers are in trouble; they haven’t evolved from their previous season. The Packers were outplayed and outcoached.

This is a REALLY big down, I suppose there is only one way to go from here.

Onward.

Greendale, Wisconsin

I returned to the homeland aka Greendale, Wisconsin. I met up with my friend Philwaukee. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGiciKNHQnc&w=640&h=360]

(Arrogant) Packer Fan Prediction.

And so it begins. Yesterday the NFL released their regular season schedule and I can’t help but speculate on what the Packers season is going to look like and anticipate the season. I’m excited to play Monday morning quarterback and somehow be smarter than the coaches for 5 or 6 days, it just feels right.

As I looked over the regular season schedule I started to feel a bit arrogant and realized that I’ve been spoiled for 2 years. I need to remind myself that The Packers division has gotten a bit stronger and it may be foolish of me to sleep on some teams (Bears, Lions, not you Vikings). The strong division is a good thing. In Wisconsin I knew this old disgruntled coach that loved playing stronger teams because he’d say “It’ll keep you honest” and that’s all I can hope for The Packers this year… They stay honest.

Without further adieu I give you the most accurate (bias) prediction I possibly can. You don’t need to watch a single game this season because this is how the Green Bay Packers season will unfold:

Week 1: 49ers at PACKERS: Packers win 27-17 to open the season. Randy Moss scores 2 touchdowns and we remember he’s playing again. Aaron Rodgers is currently considering bringing back his championship belt move. By the way, last year I realized how many 49ers fans I have and that scares me.

Record: 1-0

Week 2: Bears at PACKERS: Packers have been in the heads of the Bears players for 3 years now. Although I’m always scared of the Bears in some weird Midwestern way the Packers win 20-13.

Record: 2-0

Week 3: PACKERS at Seattle: Matt Flynn does his best A Rodg impression but unfortunately A Rodg does his best Matt Flynn VS Detroit impression. Packers win in some kind of shootout.

Record: 3-0

Week 4: Saints at PACKERS: Any single joke about the Saints and their insanely mentally fucked up team could work here. This game is a shoot out but the mentally complete Packers win 45-31.

Record: 4-0 and Aaron Rodgers was just named player of the month.

Week 5: PACKERS at Colts: Peyton Manning hangover. Packers win.

Record: 5-0

Week 6: PACKERS at Texans: Uh oh, do I sense a stumbling block from the seemingly always-pesky Texans? Yeah, actually I do, but I sense a win in the 4th quarter.

Record: 6-0

Week 7: PACKERS at Rams: Sam Bradford is to busy admiring what a good team looks like. Packers win 30-10

Record: 7-0 and everyone starts recognizing how easy their schedule has been.

Week 8: Jaguars at PACKERS: Blaine Gabbert is picked off 5 times and Aaron Rodgers is the official front-runner for MVP.

Record: 8-0

Week 9: Arizona at PACKERS: I see this game turning into a shootout that Aaron Rodgers comes away winning 31-24 and I officially begin to worry that this schedule is way to easy.

Record: 9-0

Week 10: BYE WEEK: My buddy Ottford and I brag to each other about how good the Packers are but we’re both worried about their awesome record and don’t acknowledge that they were 9-0 the previous year. We’re trying to avoid a jinx, but then I try to reverse the jinx by saying they may lose and Ottford proceeds to get pissed at me.

Record: Still 9-0 and narrowly escaped a jinx.

Week 11: PACKERS at Detroit: Matthew the Staffinfection is having a killer year, he’s somehow managed to stay healthy and the Lions are still fun to watch. Megatron will exploit the Packers for 2 touchdowns but we’re still in their heads. Packers win.

Record: 10-0

Week 12: PACKERS at Giants: I get to the bar early for this game and decide I’m going to pace myself… by halftime I’m drunk. Fortunately the Packers win this game; unfortunately everyone knows that Eli Manning is waiting for the post season to win another Super Bowl. This win almost means nothing but fortunately it’s against a good team.

Record: 11-0

Week 13: Vikings at PACKERS: Thank God we’re in Green Bay because the Metrodome is contemplating breaking down. If the Packers lose this game it’s only because Adrian Peterson runs for 200+ yards… But they win by a lot.

Record: 12-0

Note: I’m getting worried because this is very similar to last year.

Week 14: Lions at PACKERS: Upset Alert! WTF!? Detroit wins 27-24 and Packer fans are starting to realize that their secondary is still depleted… like last year. Packer fans are starting to worry about the Lions… like last year. Congratulations Stafford.

Record: 12-1

Week 15: PACKERS at Bears: Truth be told I’m worried. I think the Packers are a bit bruised from their loss last week and what’s even scarier is that Jay Culter is clicking with Brandon Marshall. My worries manifest into reality and I feel that I cause this loss. ESPN goes crazy stating it’s been nearly 2 years since the Packers lost back to back games.

Record: 12-2 

Week 16: Titans at PACKERS: Pissed and on a mission the Packers try to get their grove back, somehow. They’ve been exploited in their secondary and honestly I don’t think their running game is looking too good… If this were a better team that may matter. Packers win 35-20

Record: 13-2

Week 17: PACKERS at Vikings: Vikings don’t have a chance. The Packers are playing to win their division with style. Aaron Rodgers passes for over 400 yards and enters into the post season with a first round bye.

Regular season record: 14-2

Can’t really pinpoint what happens from here but all I can think and say is that they have to avenge their 2011 season. I’m already worried that they some how get bounced in the playoffs like last season.

I think the main issue is that I have to remind myself that the Packers hit a great streak in 2010-2011, when they won the Super Bowl, and I can’t expect that every year - now they have a bullseye on their backs like the Patriots.

Fuck it. They win the Super Bowl.

2013 Super Bowl Champions: GREEN BAY PACKERS

Random thoughts: Rodgers absolutely brings back the belt. Clay Matthews shocks the world with a short haircut. The Packers develop a running game. Donald Driver comes in 2nd on Dancing with the Stars.

Thoughts and Advice: The Quarterback

It’s official. A couple days after the most watched Super Bowl / TV program of all time the NFL season has concluded. Truthfully, my season took a major hit somewhere around 5pm PST on January 15^th 2012. It was then that I watched super Eli torch the Packers the same way he did a few years ago, and I was once again reminded that it’s foolish to be so invested into something you have no control over. Am I masking my pain right now – Yes, probably.

Us Green Bay Packers fans were spoiled last year and by the out-of-nowhere Packers. We were spoiled with Aaron Rodgers nailing the Favre memory coffin and we were spoiled with a near perfect season…. Damn you for being so good then so bad! Who cares, it’s over time to move on and think of the 2012-2013, but truthfully part of me doesn’t want to think about it, I need a break. I can’t take losing any more bets and thinking about what could be… I’m taking a NFL sabbatical.

Before I stop talking about the NFL and put my efforts into more important things like movies, writing, reality TV, the Internet, and contemplating watching Justin Bieber’s movie on Netflix. I would like to give my advice on the most coveted position in the NFL: The Quarterback.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, where your QB goes, the team will follow. The new NFL coddling rules for a QB has made the position more important than ever. Having said that and moving forward I give you the:

Random Thoughts and Advice for the 2012-2013 starting QB’s of the NFL.

Arizona Cardinals - Kevin Kolb: Dude, I hope you stay away from the injuries and moving forward you need to stop thinking about all the hype you had going into the Cardinals season. Smile in your picture next year, you look miserable.

Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan: Change your name to Jack and channel your inner Tom Clancy.

Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flacco: I’ve always though Flacco could be named Flacman and have a legit chance of being a superhero somewhere. Just stay away from Ray Lewis.

Buffalo Bills – Ryan Fitzpatrick: We get it. You went to Harvard and have a massive beard, but the mystique has worn off. Shave that beard already.

Carolina Panther – Cam Newton: Probably one of the best rookies I didn’t watch. Newton is going to be a monster if he can stay healthy and everyone knows it.

Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler: Cutler watch out for Josh McNown… Yeah I’m just kidding. Cutler should start a new reality show with Kristen Cavalari and follow in the footsteps of Khloe and Lamar. HBO presents: (Insert anything here regarding Hard Knocks and Jay Cutler reality)

Cincinnati Bengals – Andy Dalton: Andy Dalton either sounds like a serial killer or everyone’s best friend… which is the trait of a serial killer!

Cleveland Browns – Colt McCoy: In the history of life has there ever been a more Texan name than Colt McCoy? Wait… he was born in New Mexico? But he went to Texas for college? Did he change his name midway through life just to fit in? Mind. Can’t. Compute. It was just meant to be. Last thing I remember is McCoy behind leveled in a game and playing through a concussion. Stay healthy.

Dallas Cowboys – Tony Romo:  I love Tony Romo for a few reasons: 1) He’s from Wisconsin. 2) He still sports starter gear like it’s 1995. 3) He kind of reminds me of Favre. Moving forward Romo needs to find any possible wide receiver that’s out there… Even T.O!

Denver Broncos – Tim Tebow: Will Tebow even be the starter next season? If so, for how long? I love this guy; he made the NFL amazing this year. My advice for Tebow is to ultimately ask himself for advice because he seems to have it all figured out.

Detroit Lions – Matt Stafford: The Staff-infection. Congrats on staying healthy this year, I hope (and dare you) to do it again.

Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers: Bring back the Title Belt victory “dance”! You had the best consistent celebration going until Timothy Tebow started Tebowing… Embrace your celebration! Don’t hide behind the discount double check commercials.

Houston Texans – Matt Schaub errr Matt Lienart errr T.J. Yates: Um seriously who is the starting QB? Can’t Arian Foster just play this position and get it over with?

Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning: Not sure what’s going to happen here. Is it going to be Andrew Luck? Peyton, my advice to you is go ask Eli what to do, he seems to know it all. But seriously, I think Peyton should join the Jets and allow the Mannings to own NY.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Blaine Gabbert: I love Gabbert basically because of his last name. I’ve seen Gabbert playing for a total of 3 minutes this year… and that’s via ESPN highlights.

Miami Dolphins – Chad Henne: Hmmm, don’t know much about Henne, just make room for Matt Flynn.

Minnesota Vikings – Christian Ponder: Remember Donovan McNabb? Remember Brett Favre before McNabb!? Ponder has never looked better.

New England Patriots – Tom Brady: Is Tom Brady going to go down in history as the guy who has a “but he…” on his resume? IE: Tom Brady was maybe the greatest quarterback ever but he always lost to Eli. Or, Tom Brady lost to Eli but he is married to Giselle so whatever.

New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees: Why do I feel like Brees plays for nothing? It seems like he should have come away with so much more this past season.

New York Giants – Eli Manning: In Eli I trust. He’s got a monster head - seriously he still looks like a little kid in that oversized helmet and if he’s anywhere close to the playoffs next year…. Watch out.

New York Jets – Mark Sanchez: I get the feeling that Sanchez is living the life right now but it’s starting to catch up to him. If he doesn’t perform next year I think he’s done. Advice to him: Don’t lose in NY.

Oakland Raiders – Carson Palmer: What are they going to do with the quarterback fiasco in Oakland, and how poorly did this past season play out for The Raiders? Palmer needs to get off the surfboard and start playing; I think next season is his last shot (kind of like Sanchez)

Philadelphia Eagles – Mike Vick: I get the feeling Vick is going to be amazing next year (don’t say a dog joke, don’t say a dog joke) if I were him I would lobby for a wide receiver. Vick is good but he needs someone who’s his prime target.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Ben Roethlisberger: Did Ben really think he was going to beat Tebow in the playoffs? Fortunately Tebow just wiped Ben’s sins away, meaning next year it looks like the Steelers will be back in the Super Bowl with Mike “don’t blink” Tomlin.

San Diego Chargers – Phillip Rivers: Rivers reminds me of a crazy Chucky doll for some reason. This guy needs to just keep yelling at people and I think he’ll be fine.

San Francisco 49ers – Alex Smith: Was this past season a fluke? Will Harbaugh consider taking over for Smith as the QB? I don’t watch many 49ers games but you know what this guy needs to do – run more, he’s deceitfully fast.

Seattle Seahawks – Tavaris Jackson: It took me a minute to remember that Hasselbeck isn’t their QB anymore. Jackson just needs to keep playing into the Pete Carrol’s system and he’ll be fine. I actually find this guy to be underrated.

St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford: Advice to you… hand the ball off as many times as possible.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Josh Freeman: Full discretion – I know nothing about the Bucs.

Tennessee Titans - Matt Hasselbeck:  Matt, you have a few years left… I still love you because you were an amazing back up on the Packers, and I’ll never forget your coin flip fuck up in the playoffs. Advice moving forward: Get out of Tennessee.

Washington Redskins – Rex Grossman: Why do I feel like this is one of the most dysfunctional teams in the NFL? Grossman needs to hand it off.

Words of wisdom from someone who is so irrelevant to a NFL player that it’s not even worth thinking about how far I’d fall on the totem pole. It’s my final assessment and my best chance to close the door on this NFL season only to wait for a key to arrive for next season. I’m genuinely happy for the Giants… it was a great season. Must. Focus. Elsewhere.

The Green Bay Packers 2012: I'm Confused

Wait. Wasn’t this supposed to be the 90’s all over again? Weren’t the Packers and 49ers supposed to meet in the playoffs and I could banter with my friends about living in the past and Jerry Rice fumbling? I thought it was, at least that’s where my arrogance was. Instead life reminded me that trends are recycled every 30 years and it’s the 80’s… Oh… whoops. Now I have to relive The Giants VS the 49ers, hmm I missed the memo on this one.

Yesterday was rough. It was so rough that I woke up a few times in the middle of the night unable to turn off my brain.

This is my exact text I sent my friend Alex at 4am this morning:

“I can’t sleep and I’m not happy. It was a good season… Confused …. Eh”

At 7:44am he got back to me:

“I’m trying not to think about it. It was a good season, but that was a terrible game. Worst they played all season.”

His text pretty much sums it up, it was the worst game they played all season. The worst part about it is that you could kind of see it coming, and you could definitely feel it coming. When I watched the Packers lose to the Chiefs earlier this season I felt the same way at half time, things just didn’t feel right. Those passes that they usually connect on just weren’t connecting. I was trying to stay positive during the game but deep down inside I knew this wasn’t happening. The Giants just looked better. Even my mom wrote me a text that said they didn’t look good… MY REALLY OPTOMISTIC MOM!

I need to push through this because it’s not that hard to diagnose, just hard to swallow. The Packers were just rusty and out of sync. The normal amazing shit that’s been happening since 2010 just wasn’t happening and if I may state the obvious – more dropped passes than that one really bad kid on the playground who you don’t throw too because he drops all the passes.

I need to write this out because I’m too cloudy to do it any other way…

Jermichael “I’m suddenly a headcase” Finley: He’s been dropping passes all season and it finally got to him. It’s as if every time Aaron Rodgers threw the ball to him some little voice inside his head said “DON’T MISS, DON’T MISS, DON’T MISS” then he dropped the ball.

Running Game: This is obvious, we haven’t had one all season.

You can’t spell Elite without Eli: Damn you Manning! Eli channeled his inner Peyton and picked apart the defense like he was in the Matrix and two steps ahead of everyone.

Oh yeah the Defense: For a defense that relies on letting everyone throw all over them because they’ll eventually pick it off, this didn’t exactly work this time around.

The Hail Mary: Tebow stepped on the field for a brief second and guided that pass right before the half into Cruz’s hands. I will toss this play into the category above. Seriously, how do NFL players let Hail Mary’s happen?

A Rodg: It seemed like Rodgers really wanted it yesterday. He was their leading rusher but the fact he couldn’t rely on anyone trying to catch a ball didn’t help.

If I had any control over anything: I would have said “Yo team, we’re going to throw the ball to Jordy Nelson and Donald Driver every single play. No, I’m not joking.”

Final Thoughts: Like I wrote the other day, I was worried about this game. Watching the playoffs reminded me that other teams are very good and you cannot afford to have a bad day, or even a bad quarter. Unfortunately, the Packers had 4 bad quarters. The Packers were rusty, too rested, and not prepared. I’m reminded of a quote that Mike McCarthy made when asked if they’re going for 16-0.

“We don’t play scared.”

Well, yesterday they looked like they were being chased by sloth from the Goonies, with a handful of confusion.

It’s moments like this that I need to remind myself that I had no control over the game, and even though I specifically went to the one sports bar that the Packers never lost at when I watched a game last season… I had no control!

Time to move on and get ready for the Manchester United VS Arsenal game next week on FOX!

Kidding. I’ll watch the NFC championships.

Final predictions: 49ers VS Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Oh wait, nevermind… A Manning is in the playoffs…

Giants VS Patriots in the Super Bowl with Peyton sitting in the box seats watching his younger brother on the brink of getting one more Super Bowl than him.

Full Discretion: I'm Slightly Worried About The Packers

I’m worried that the Packers had a bye week.

I’m worried that Aaron Rodgers was so good he sat out the final week of the season and may be rusty.

I’m worried that the Giants still have players on it that won the improbable Super Bowl in 2008.

I’m worried that if the Packers beat the Giants they face a team that I actually really like (get that out of your head). They face a team that is very good (get that out of your head). And lets be honest, the 49ers are in an odd way a Cinderella team even though they had a first round bye.

I’m worried that tomorrow FOX is going to broadcast some ridiculous stat saying the Packers are 76-1 in temperatures 34 degrees and under. What they aren’t saying is that they’re a lot worse when it’s 35 degrees.

I worried that even if the Packers make it to the Super Bowl they’ll probably have to face the Patriots (jumping ahead!) And the Patriots have a potent offense that I feel is changing the game; their tight ends are amazing.

I’m worried. Okay!

I’m worried that I’m worried.

Wasn’t I confident 2 weeks ago? Yes. But now the bad teams are weeded out and watching the good teams reminds me that the Packers actually have company. The odd part about my feelings are that I still have some lingering issues with Brett Favre, for some reason he has put a stamp of doubt in my head about the Packers, much like he did every time they played a game against anyone. I have to remind myself that Aaron Rodgers doesn’t make the same mistakes.

Reminder, Reminder, Reminder.

I’m not going to finish this off and say that win or lose they had a good season, the sports fan truth is that I want them to never lose again, but we know that can’t happen. I’m realizing I’m a tad bit invested, there was something great about last season and the miracle wild card run to the Super Bowl,  and now watching a team that has a bull’s-eye on their back is nerve-wracking, but at the same time it’s also a major compliment to have the bulls-eye.

I must forget about my worries and push forward… Tomorrow will be a major measuring stick for the Green Bay Packers. I’m excited, I can’t be worried. I must remind myself I have no control over the situation… Or do I? No, No, I can’t worry about control over a game that I’ll be watching on TV.

No matter what Sunday’s outcome is I will have to remind myself this is a great season - if they lose I’ll force that fact in my head. If they win… Well, I’ll worry about that later.

NFL Players: What Are You Talking About?

It’s time I come to terms and try to open a discussion about the culture that is NFL lingo. I don’t know if I should be ashamed with what I’m about to say or if others have been concealing this too. I know I can’t be in this boat by myself but as an NFL fan I’ve been lying to myself.

David Fleming from ESPN the Magazine had a conversation with Aaron Rodgers for their “Interview Issue.”

Side Note: Out on Stand Dec 12^th, and also a great read.

The conversation is essentially a breakdown and the progress of Aaron Rodgers. Being a massive Packers fan I took a little more interest in what he had to say, then I read something…

Coming off of a question about James Jones and a Touchdown. Flemings question is in BOLD.

Is part of that getting to a place where complicated reads, such as the TD to Jones, just become second nature?

"It's quicker reactions and being more decisive with my checks. When you really start figuring things out as a quarterback, you realize you don't have to be perfect every time, but you do have to be quick and decisive. On that play, we had James on the left and Greg Jennings on the right. The pass check was for James to run a man-beater route -- a route with a double move that works well against single coverage. We were hoping the Chargers would go to a one-high safety look. Instead, they played more quarters, where each DB plays a quarter of the field, and they used high-low coverage on Greg. My quick reaction was that we still have man coverage on the other side with James, who is running a man-beater route. It wasn't perfect, but we still had good options to work with."

When I finished reading A Rodg’s response I thought - “Oh, So Rodgers makes quicker decisions and he passed to Jones because Jennings was initially covered.” But that’s the problem right there! That’s only sort of what Rodgers said, as a matter of fact he said a few things that I have no fucking clue what they mean:

“We were hoping the Chargers would go to a one-high safety look.”

“…The pass check was for James to run a man-beater route -- a route with a double move…"

”Instead, they played more quarters, where each DB plays a quarter of the field…”

“…and they used high-low coverage on Greg.”

In one answer I’m partially confused, not totally but partially, and the thing is – this isn’t some fluke answer, this is how regular repartee is in the NFL. Come on. As a fan when I talk to my buddy I don’t say “Wow, did you see the secondary in that nickel defense? I can’t believe the corners dropped back.”

I say “Dude, Jones just caught a good fucking pass from Rodgers! Touchdown!”

I can appreciate the coaches/players analysis and it’s not as though I want it to be stopped, I just want a better explanation. There’s no way these guys can think we all know what they’re talking about. Come to think of it, Ron Jaworski from Monday Night Football has great breakdowns and explains regarding what he’s talking about. But he’s one of the few.

Can I be alone on this? No way, I just can’t. I want a simplistic analysis from these guys; they have to know it’s what we want (or I want). I’m kind of getting tired of sitting in a room with my football friends and hearing some rubix cube of an explanation of what just happened and then nobody acknowledges it.

Am I alone on this? Is it just part of the football culture? Did I just out myself as a moronic football fan?

A link to the article: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/7295185/nfl-green-bay-aaron-rodgers-greatest-season-qb-ever-had

Adios Jinx: The Perfect Green Bay Packers Season

I’m a sports fan, and being a sports fan means I believe in random superstitions and raw emotion generally tanks logic more than I’d like to admit. I occasionally believe in random jinxes and from time to time am afraid to admit this to myself simply because I feel to embarrassed…I’m a sports fan.

In my world you walk a fine line between gloating and creating the ultimate jinx, it’s actually tough not to cross the two - The reason we worry about a jinx is because we have a personal investment in the team, we actually care. The reason we gloat is because we’re so proud as if we’re actually quarterbacking the team.

I’ve turned the other cheek and am very careful not to create commotion in my jinx world; I’ve played it safe because I’ve been burned before.

I’ve played it cool… I’ve played it smart… I didn’t want to jinx a single person… I didn’t want to jinx my team. But today that changes.

Fuck you potential jinx. Today I announce what I’ve been thinking all NFL season:

The Green Bay Packers are going undefeated. I want them to go undefeated. I never want them to lose.

Somewhere my friend Alex just got very pissed off with me for “calling it” but I had too, and I know he’s thinking the same thing too, but neither one of us want to be responsible if they lose.

I hate it when ESPN starts with the Miami Dolphin undefeated 72’ season talk at weeks 2 and to be honest I’m sick of them leading off shows with “Looks like the Dolphins can pop the champagne” once the 5-0 whoever lose their game. I don’t want to hear about it anymore, I want to hear about the 2011 Packers going undefeated - all the way through the Super Bowl.

Here’s why they’ll do it:

The Offense: Is it just me or do these guys really like each other? If the Packers were on Hard Knocks I bet we’d see them playing monopoly with each other’s families. Why is it important for them to like each other? Duh, they want each other to succeed.

Aaron Rodgers: It’s a good time to be QB in the NFL; A Rodg is experiencing that right now. As long as he’s going… the Packers will not lose.

Well, wait… I’ll stop, that’s it, that’s why they’ll go undefeated. The A Rodg led offense is so good that it’s tough to keep up with them at this moment in time, the only way you can come close to beating them is by keeping them off the field.

Why they won’t do it:

Injures: That’s it.

Old me would have just given myself the Larry David skeptical stare down and asked why I just opened the door on a potential jinx of injuries, poor Rodgers play, bad offensive play, and the perfect season. New Me is the guy staring back at Larry David confident in whatever I just said – knowing the only way to this machine down is through the unfortunate injury.

The Packers are good and my logic is telling me nobody can stop them, they’re currently like the opening sequence of Last Boy Scout where Billy Banks is running down the field shooting everyone because nobody will stop them… The Packers are him - minus the gun.

Today I denounce a jinx. ESPN please start prepping any and all clever things you have to say about the Miami Dolphins and Green Bay Packers. The Packers are going 16-0.

I say this with confidence.