M. Knight drops "After Earth"

Random fact: I’ve been defending M. Knight Shyamalan for so many years that I started to lose street cred. I loved The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, The Village, and Signs so much that I forgave him for things that came after.

I try to forget the dark days of Lady in the Water, The Happening AKA Oh-my-God-this-can’t-be-happening-what-am-I-watching-what-is-Mark-Whalberg-doing-but-seriously-what-the-fuck-am-I-watching, and The Last Airbender movie. I give this guy a lot of credit for taking chances.

One would think that with his last three movies I’d be burned and never want to watch another movie of his ever again; even I kind of think so. But then he goes and drops a movie with Will Smith and his son and my hopes are once again somewhere in between The Village and Signs.

I’m so scared I’m going to be burned by M. Knight and I may regret saying this but… This movie looks and sounds fucking cool. Check out this poster that indicates almost nothing… but somehow I’m oddly excited. It hit the internet today.

Drew: The Man Behind The Poster

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMVfIc7aCtA&w=640&h=360]

(Future) The Dark Knight Rises review.

 

I should note that I haven’t actually seen The Dark Knight Rises but at this moment my expectations are starting to take over. I wish this wasn’t the case, I swore off high expectations for films after I pre bought tickets for a midnight showing of Indiana Jones 4 with my buddy. Never again would I think something was going to be so insanely cool that I may have to have a drink afterwards, but it’s happening at this current moment in time.

The worst part about all of this is that my tickets aren’t until next Sunday afternoon (don’t ask) so I now have to hear all of my friends talk about the awesomeness that is Christopher Nolan and just grin and bear it because they saw it on Friday and Saturday. I hate when people see things before me, it’s like someone taking the almanac from Back To The Future 2 and touting it around.

I have to get over that aspect and realize that ultimately this doesn’t stop what I hope my future Dark Knight Rises review is going to be. Judging from the trailers, the pictures, and other various aspects of the current onslaught of marketing I imagine I’m going to be saying something like this: — One week from now— Coolest fucking movie ever. I don’t really know where to begin or how to digest The Dark Knight Rises. Somehow Nolan and his crew managed to conclude this trilogy with the best installment yet. Somehow they made Batman’s voice sound normal and not like he’s about to have a hernia. Somehow Anne Hathaway didn’t annoy me with her on again off again over acting. Somehow Joseph Gordon Levitt worked. Somehow the same reoccurring characters in all Nolan movies were seamlessly intertwined. Somehow the political undertones of the 99% revolting seemed to somehow make sense. Somehow Liam Neeson once again stole the movie and all that was missing was him calling someone telling them his skill set. Finally, somehow Tom Hardy has just bumped himself into the “best Batman villain” conversation.

That’s it.

I realize that my review may not be all that in depth, as a matter of fact I know it’s not, but that’s because I’m a fan first and once something I like starts to exceed expectations then I stop caring about over analyzing it.

I walk away from The Dark Knight Rises with a greater appreciation for Nolan and his pure vision. He managed to move forward with his series after setting the bar so high and somehow moving the bar even higher.

If it’s not already being done in film classes, people will one day analyze this trilogy and ultimately how it changed the game. How Nolan changed the complexity of what a “comic book” film was and what it can be. He sent a ripple through out Hollywood by being as ambitious as he was and it paid off. When it’s all said and done the only question that will linger is:

“How the shit was Katie Holmes in the first movie?”

Go see The Dark Knight Rises.

The Batman.

T

I’m really trying to stay level headed about my Batman consumption but they just keep on pumping out amazing things. I love this picture. Part of me wants the movie never to be released simply because I like the anticipation.

Movies you must watch when they're on TV

This weekend the greatest thing in the world happened – as I was trolling through my guide on TV I randomly stumbled upon The Shawshank Redemption. I immediately switched from whatever I was watching and I think the clouds parted because I was roughly 15 minutes away from one of 9,236 quotable lines from the movie: Get busy living or get busy dying. I’m not talking about the first time when Andy and Red are sitting in the courtyard but the second time when Red is out in the world and Andy has dropped breadcrumbs for him to come be with him on the Pacific.

I’m not sure if it was the slight hang over that I may or may not have been nursing, or the fact that I really wish I changed the channel earlier to see Andy escape from Shawshank, but I suddenly felt a bit emotional. I called my girlfriend into the room and said “babe, check it out. Get busy living or get busy dying.” She watched it with me - Like she’s done every other time. Once the movie was coming to an end she stood up and said, “Wow, you really love this movie.”

Fuck yeah I love this movie. If you don’t love this movie you have issues.

Her small comment led me to do some thinking. I wondered why she said that, and was there a tone to the way she said it? It’s not like I always talk about Shawshank. So, I asked her.

“Hey, why did you say I loved this movie? I mean, I do love this movie, but why’d you say that?”

“Because you always stop watching whatever you’re watching to turn it on.”

I always do irrationally turn on Shawshank as though I directed, wrote, and produced it. There is something that feels great about catching a movie you love on TV, as though you can just plop in and say hello to it.

I started thinking about movies that no matter what’s happening, I’d change the channel for. It’s those movies that you’ve seen 18 times but if you don’t change the channel there’s some sort of internal conflict that ultimately challenges how much you like film in general – whether it be for a scene, line, sequence, character, or third act, you need to turn on that movie.

I dug deeper and ultimately accumulated my first ever: Movies that if you ever see are on television then you need to change the channel and peek in on it otherwise the movie Gods will know list.

The Shawshank Redemption: See above.

The Matrix: If you catch this on a channel like TNT or TBS, then you’re basically only watching until you realize they took out great action scenes and also the curse words. But if you catch it on a premium channel and get to watch the groundbreaking action and Keanu almost being emotional then you’re set. At some point in this channel change you’ll inevitably say “Whoa” and then “Wow, this movie was awesome, but the others weren’t.”

Back To The Future: Come on. I feel like people turn this on for nostalgic purposes and you inevitably realize that you’re watching a perfect movie.

Good Will Hunting: I feel like there was a moment when Affleck was bringing down the credibility of this movie but then redeemed everything with Gone Baby Gone and The Town. You’re probably turning this on for the first act of the film when Damon is outsmarting everyone and saying “How do you like them apples” or you hope to catch the final sequence, which in my opinion is insanely underrated, when Affleck heads to the vacant house of Damon.

ET: If you’re sitting by someone who’s never seen this movie then you need to evaluate your friendship with whomever you’re sitting next too.

Pulp Fiction: Last week I changed the channel just to watch the dance scene with Travolta.

The Truman Show: I’ve argued the greatness of this movie for years. Jim Carrey was robbed of an Academy Award nomination (He WON for Golden Globe by the way) and this film is way ahead of its time. If you’ve never seen this movie… Do it… Now.

Minority Report: Some of the best running Tom Cruise has ever done is in this movie. Take a second and turn this movie on, you’ll notice that roughly 80% of the “science fiction” is actually here today.

The Empire Strikes Back: I’m not ever going to mention why someone needs to turn on this movie.

The Karate Kid (original): If you see this on television then just hope it’s the moment when all the badasses are dressed as the skeleton’s aka the best continuous Halloween costume ever.

Top Gun: This was essentially a perfect storm. It’s kind of when Jerry Bruckheimer figured out how to do action, it really put Tony Scott on the map, and Tom Cruise could essentially do no wrong (insert any joke here). If you’re fortunate enough to turn on this movie during the montage of volleyball and motorcycle riding then you should go buy a lottery ticket.

The Sixth Sense: If you’re the person who says, “I knew Bruce Willis was dead” then you’re full of shit. This movie was an amazing break out for M Knight Shyamalan and even though he made some… um… uh… questionable movies afterwards we can’t let The Happening ruin liking this.

Yes, I’m aware there are hundreds of other movies to fill the list, and yes I know all the movies above were released no later than 1980, but that’s neither here nor there right now. The next time you find yourself lounging on your couch and you see one of the films above – I dare you not to change the channel. See how good you feel about yourself afterwards.

Get busy living or get busy dying.

Underrated Movie: White Water Summer

 

There are about sixteen moments in each day that I start to think of underrated movies. Typically the movies that come to mind are somehow embedded in my childhood and look like absolute shit to any current day first time watcher. Today I’m sharing an underrated moment and reminding the world that before we saw Kevin Bacon’s schlong in Wild Things and before Sean Astin was carried off the field in Rudy they occupied the screen for a summer time movie of glorious fun:

White Water Summer

Check out the plot summary courtesy of IMDB: An experienced guide (Vic) accompanies a city boy (Alan) and his three friends on their first wilderness experience. Hoping to teach the four boys lessons not only about the wilderness, but also about themselves, Vic pushes them to the limit. Soon after alienating the boys, Vic finds himself in desperate need of help and must rely on his students in order to survive.

I think this movie turned out a bit darker than it was supposed to be, or maybe not, maybe it was supposed to be as dark as it was. In my opinion I think the late 80’s and some of the early 90’s were a quintessential time for kid adventure movies. I feel like Hollywood was saying “How can we fuck with kids and then have them prevail?” And this movie is no exception.

If you’re having a 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon movie night… watch this movie.

Check out the trailer below. Side note: How amazing are old school trailers?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QBmRr7h7Fw&w=480&h=360]

Matthew McConaughey: Greatest Career Ever

A few years ago I was having a conversation with my friend who lives in Europe and is in no way affiliated with the entertainment industry, aside from liking films. We were talking about various acting careers and I said:

“Who’s career would you have if you could?”

He waited a second and then said: “Matthew McConaughey.”

I proceeded to laugh and jumped on him about his films like Surfer Dude and Sahara. I started a McConaughey rant of how he was on pace to be a great actor when he was in A Time To Kill, Amistad, and Contact but then something happened to him and he just started to produce questionable (that’s being kind) movies. I thought that McCounaughey has been on the downfall for a long time and he shouldn’t be taken seriously as an actor.

My friend listened and then countered with: “Yeah but he’s in a bunch of movies, he lives on the beach, and he bangs tons of chicks. It just seems like he has a great life.”

The comment struck some chord with me and I suddenly saw McConaughey for what he may be – The smartest human being in the entire world, with the best career.

I think more times than not we/me judge people by the quality that they produce in Hollywood, letting personal taste interfere with the simple fact that - if you’re able to have a successful career in Los Angeles then you’re doing something right. He’s been at it for nearly 20 years and he’s not going anywhere, so I dug deeper into McConaughey thought, and this is what I know:

- He's sort of been typecast but not really throughout his career. He’s been romantic comedy guy, serious guy, action guy, stoner guy, stoner guy again, then stoner guy, and back to serious guy.

- This is a guy who was arrested for smoking pot and playing the bongo’s naked in his own house.

- Before he was married and living in Texas he lived in Malibu on the beach in some small motor home.

- He walks around with his shirt off more than he walks around with it on.

- He seemingly works out all the time.

- Since 1992 there has never been more than 2 years that we’ve gone without McConaughey in a movie.

- Before he was married he seriously had more girlfriends than days he’s walked around with no shirt.

My friend was right - this guy really does seemingly have a great life, and he’s also somewhat of a quandary. I’ve been looking at him wrong this entire time. Maybe his decline in movies was intentional, or not even true; maybe he never wanted to be anything more than just a working actor who leads a seemingly carefree and healthy life, and maybe more people should model their careers after McConaughey (yes, I just said that).

As I’ve gotten older my appreciation for McConaughey has only grown. I think this guy may be a Hollywood genius. He either has everyone fooled or everything figured out… or both… or neither …. Fuck! Damn you McConaughey! The legend grows.

Lets also never forget that he delivered one of the greatest lines and moments in cinema history:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wf-mRo7C2I&w=420&h=315]

Dumb and Dumber - No Mas

I just heard that the Dumb and Dumber sequel was not going to happen because Jim Carrey thinks the studio isn’t as excited as he is. Does that even sound right? What does sound right is what the title of the sequel was going to be: Dumb and Dumber To.

When I read the name of the sequel I can’t help but feel mildly depressed that this isn’t going to happen. Let’s be honest, Jim Carrey needs this, the Farrelly Brother’s need this, and humanity needs this. I can only hope that this is a mild speed bump in the process of Dumb and Dumber.

Just because:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAWoP1kncRE&w=420&h=315]

Decompression. Entertainment. NBA.

I think it’s safe to say that I just finished decompressing from the eyegasm that was Prometheus and Sunday June 10th in general. On Monday June 11th I reflected on the previous day.

10am:
Early morning story confusion but who cares because it was so cool to look at that everything some how made sense (Prometheus).

1pm:
Getting stuck in West Hollywood Gay pride parade and deciding to walk with my girlfriend to a restaurant and have a drink(s).

3pm:
Feeling the affects from the drink(s). When we got home we started to watch the end of Die Hard part 2 until I realized that a unicorn has been sighted and for some inexplicable reason Die Hard part 3 was on another random channel – changed to Sam Jackson and Bruce Willis yelling at Jeremy Irons.

6pm: 
Woke up from the best mid day nap in the history of life and wondered how and why Die Hard part 3 is still on… Maybe the longest movie ever?

7pm:
Watched the season finale of Mad Men and loved every second of it. I haven’t seen a season tie together so well since the previous season of Mad Men. My girlfriend and I discussed and continued discussing on Monday what this season was all about. I don’t think she liked the finale as much as I did but it’s difficult not to appreciate how great that show is.

I don’t want to spoil anything but Don Draper may be the coolest character in the history of television and on par with: Walter White, Cosmo Kramer, Larry David, Homer Simpson, Jack Shepherd, Bill Cosby, Will Smith, Angus MacGyver, Archie Bunker, Tony Soprano, Fonzie Fonzarelli, and Aaron Rodgers from the hit Sunday TV show: NFL Football.

9pmish:
Watched the teaser trailer for Breaking Bad - I’m excited.

10pm: 
Watched Safe House with Denzel and Ryan Reynolds and felt like this may be one of the biggest I didn’t expect that movies I’ve seen in a long time.

By the time Midnight rolled around it was time for me to try and turn off my brain and pass out. At some point Monday I realized that I may be consuming too much information, if that’s even possible. Is it possible? Nah, knowledge is power and I want to know about Don Draper. But as life goes, when one thing ends another thing begins, which brings me to the NBA Finals and the consumption of sports that starts tonight.

This may be the most intriguing match up in years. The Lakers / Celtics from a few years ago was definitely amazing so I can’t disregard it, but what we’re seeing right now has so many implications - I think.

Miami Heat VS Oklahoma City Thumnder. Purchased Super Team VS Drafted rejected from Seattle Team. Durant VS Lebron. Westbrook VS his Craziness VS Wade. James Harden VS … who the F is going to guard James Harden?

What I find most appealing about these finals is that I think Durant is about to go Jordan mode 2.0. I think he’s about to take over and he’s not going anywhere for a long time. I think he’s going to play as well as James, if not outplay him, but more importantly I think OKC is going to win. If OKC does win then that marks a certain problem for many NBA teams. OKC is young and built like the Spurs. If everyone stays healthy and if Durant decides not to leave basketball for baseball then I seriously think they could win 4-5 championships in the next 5-7 years.

When they win, a trickle down effect is going to happen. Teams will start changing their team just to compete with them (like they did with Shaq and Kobe) and we’ll all have to start wondering if LeBron James is the greatest yet most scratch your head what to make of him worthy player in the history of the NBA… if we don’t already think that.

Anyway.

Oklahoma wins in 6. Don’t ask how, don’t ask why. Just know that Durant is going to be the MVP.

Every year when my team I root for gets eliminated I reflect on how much time I just wasted and how much rooting, drinking, projecting, arguing, and eating I just did. I don’t think it’s healthy for about 3 days. Then I remind myself that I love sports and entertainment and if I didn’t have either I’d be lost (or I’d be a genius). I’m already starting to do my reflecting but this NBA finals has allowed me to just look forward.

I can’t wait to decompress a little more. Then football will start and so will breaking bad and the whole cycle repeats itself. Fuck. I love you entertainment.

Random Thought: 5-Hour Energy Drink.

I just finished watching Mad Men. Every time I finish the show I think I’m an ad man for about 45 minutes and start to analyze various marketing ploys and commercials from companies, and then think about how I can make it better. Tonight was no different, but what is different is that tonight, I’m taking to my blog as opposed to my girlfriends ear. I take that back I did go to my girlfriend’s ear, but truthfully I don’t think she was listening, and I don’t blame her.

That product: 5-Hour Energy Drink.

You know 5-hour energy drink – it’s the little red and black bottle that promotes 5 hours of energy if you chug 1.93 FL oz. The reason it’s 5 hours and not, say, 8 hours is because it’s supposed to last the equivalent of 5 hours of coffee/caffeine.

The commercial that we saw focused on the “why wait for coffee” motto. It was bunches of people being totally inconvenienced just to get their morning pick me up. If you haven’t noticed the main leg that the little drink sits on is the coffee aspect - which is fine, but it’s making a huge mistake.

Lets forget for a second that 5 hour energy drink is intimidating because it feels like it’s bad for you simply from the packaging, lets pretend like we can overlook the fact that it calls itself a dietary supplement, and then lets pretend that the commercial isn’t totally kind of creepy (commercial below) – lets focus on the coffee aspect.

What these people behind 5 hour energy drink don’t realize is that one of the main appeals for coffee is that people like to have things in their hands. People like to be doing things and drinking coffee is one of them. In the work environment, there is nothing better than having coffee in your hands so you don’t feel like your hands are hanging aimlessly at your sides when you’re talking to someone. The idea of coffee is appealing because people are accomplishing something – We accomplish nothing while opening a 5-hour energy drink.

This energy drink needs to adjust their campaign from “a coffee drink” and focus on what it really is – it’s the thing you take when you cram for exams or drive cross country. If I were sitting in a room with the heads of this energy drink I’d go Draper on every ass and steal them to be my client. Someone is doing an incredibly bad job with the campaign. Someone needs to adjust their campaign to make it fun to drink the energy and not make it seem like we’re robots consuming something because we’re weak and need the “pick me up.”

Don’t you get it 5-hour energy drink? We know we need the pick me up but it’s more than that, coffee is social and appealing. Make your drink social. And then when you’re done with that put more than $15 in your ad department and re-do your commercials.

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLdBOTuX1GI&w=560&h=315]

 

Ideas.

Here in Los Angeles there is an unspoken (and spoken) thought that you should never openly discuss ideas. The reasoning behind it is pretty simple… someone will steal it. Fortunately I’ve never blatantly had an idea stolen from me (that I knew of) and I secretly really hope it’s not because all of my ideas were terrible.

This thought process really says a lot about the type of people here in Los Angeles. When people typically steal things it means they’re desperate, right? I guess that can be debated. One argument could be made that everyone is stealing or “duplicating” a previous idea at some point. The bottom line is that when it comes 95 percent of films we’re all copying or stealing themes, stories, thoughts, and ideas. Seriously. But lets not walk down that road because it leaves too much to be debated, we need to back track a little and specify the ideas we’re dealing with.

I’m talking about me talking to John Doe and I tell him that I’m going to write a film and here’s the idea… And then John Doe turns it and uses it for himself – That’s the type of idea stealing I’m currently talking about. But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on this subject and I’d like to take a moment and say fuck that train of thought.

The reality is, is that your idea is your idea and nobody can ever really duplicate your vision. Lets take Jurassic Park for a moment – Nobody could have done what Michael Crichton did and weave one of the top 10 coolest stories of all time, but people can try. The beauty of art is that nobody can ever put your stamp on it - that’s what makes something great.

When dealing with stories and the entertainment industry I think it’s a great idea to openly discuss your ideas. It allows you to fine tune your vision and get instant feedback on what you’re doing. Not to mention - if someone is desperate enough to turn and steal your idea then have pity (or just say fuck them), they’re desperate and they’re not going to sustain in whatever they’re doing.

This is all up for debate and maybe I’d feel a bit different if I was screwed over by some idea thief. I just think it’s great to talk out new ideas and challenge yourself, who knows maybe someone will challenge you.

****

Roughly 30 minutes later.

I just got a call from my friend and told him what I was writing and my thoughts on ideas. He told me I was crazy and wrong and proceeded to bring up some valid points and why it’s a stupid idea to talk ideas out with people. We then met at a middle ground and I agreed it should *maybe just be kept in a trusted circle.

Maybe… But F that, I just wrote all the above and feel good about it.

5 Rules.

There are a few rules that I think should and can be implemented into society… at least in my perfect world. I should probably note that I don’t think this will ever happen, it’s just what I want.

Rule #1: There must be elevator entertainment. Human has never been so uncomfortable than when we’re standing in an elevator. I hate the long-standing awkward silence, and the elevator is a test of how you deal with these moments. Do you look down at the ground? Stare at the elevator’s numbers changing? Stare at the doors? I have long thought that every elevator has a camera and it’s just some big science experiment.

If we can somehow get something that everyone can do while in there, like a quick puzzle or trivia I think the world would be a happier place.

Rule #2: Root Beer at all meals. When you go out to eat and a server asks if you’d like water I think the question should be: “Would you like water and a Root Beer?” Or “Would you just like Root Beer?” I don’t think I can properly explain the underrated value of Root Beet. Sometimes I wonder if it’s so great because it’s not as main-stream as Pepsi or Coke.

Rule #3: No walking slow in a parking garage. “YO! Slow fing walker, get out of my way because you’re in the middle of the driving area!” Not sure if it’s a LA thing or what, but people who take their sweet time and hold up traffic in a parking garage should be banned from parking. The only possible solve (without running someone over) is to implement a power walk rule in every and all garage. Move fast or get arrested… okay not arrested… but something.

Rule #4: When you say your age you say it in days and not years. Doesn’t it just sound cooler and as though you live longer to place a bigger number here? “How old are you?”

“I’m 25.”

Or –

“I’m 9,125.”

Sure, it will eventually sound common day and lose its appeal over time but at least you can feel like Yoda for just a moment. I want to feel that I’m so old I actually forget the days.

Rule #5: Notes on poorly parked cars. Imagine if you see that car that’s parked on an angle occupying 2 spots for no reason. Now imagine if you had a note that said “I messed with your car and you’ll never know what I did” even though you did nothing. I think that note alone would scare someone into submission and start a trend of properly parked cars. Even if you’re not parked like a complete idiot but are doing something that messes with the flow, you should still get a note on your car.

I even think that new cars should come with a set of notes just out of courtesy. I don’t think people realize what bad parkers do to the common man’s psyche. Or is it just me?

I’ll stop at 5 … it’s just a start, but it’s something.

The Art Of Procrastination

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zzg6X-HDqs&list=UUNEY7K0tt-ABkA6nUX8dJeg&index=1&feature=plcp]

I Hate The Emergency Exit Row

Five totally ridiculously random thoughts have been stewing in my head today.

5 - The TV show AWAKE was cancelled. Damn! It was a very good show. I’ve talked about it to many times because the creator behind it, Kyle Killen, is insanely talented and has had some kind of horrible string of luck. For the record, his previous show Lone Star was also very good.

4 – I really want to see Battleship and I don’t care who knows it… but unfortunately it comes out next week. After my taste of Avengers I’ve become an insta action junkie - this happens every summer when the first blockbuster comes out. Sort of hoping Dark Shadows has Johnny Depp blowing something up.

3 – I like Kevin Hart. I’ve been giving this dude the short end of the stick for far to long, but I have to admit… he’s pretty funny. Random prediction: Kevin Hart will win an Academy Award at some point.

Just blacked out for a second. I thought I just wrote… Oh… yeah I did just write that. I’m sticking to it.

2 – I just spent the last 10 minutes watching Manny Pacquiao highlights and (I hate to say this) I think Floyd Mayweather would win the dream match. I should note that I never watch boxing and almost know nothing about it. Just saying.

1 – What’s the deal with paying extra to sit in the emergency exit row? I purchased a ticket on Frontier Airlines and they advertised the emergency exit row as an upgrade with more legroom. Seriously?

I’ve gone on the emergency exit row rant before so I won’t completely jump into this but their needs to be some rule changes. Specifically, I think to sit there you should have to be 18 years old; I do not trust a kid who is 13 to open that door.

People pay extra to sit there!?

Let me lay out a little scenario for you:

Worst-case scenario happens and someone has to use that emergency exit. Lets say you F up when trying to open that door. You’re suddenly the person who actually paid extra to be a hero but you screwed up and now all eyes are on you… And you’re out extra cash.

This whole concept of the emergency exit row is baffling. You’d think that the emergency exit row would be cheaper due to the potential responsibility behind it.

I think it’s time we change the name of the emergency exit row, lets be honest, nobody actually thinks of it as an emergency exit row, it’s for more leg room – and obviously the airlines know that the consumer thinks it’s a crock. While we’re at it, we can avoid the whole thing about how to put on a seatbelt before take off…

"Creative Block" ramble

At some point in the last few years I’ve adopted and stuck to the belief that when it comes to decisions there is nothing bigger than the small ones, and there is nothing more impactful than any decision you make. I’ve been trying to grasp how important they are, and for whatever reason a few years ago when I read “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho something clicked. There was a line that stated, “Whenever you make a decision you’re thrust in a different flow of life” (hope I didn’t fuck that up too much). What Paulo was saying is that the decision you make puts you in a stream that takes you somewhere, who knows where, but it’s somewhere. Paulo is right – when you decide something, you are then going to a new area of life.

I should stop now and mention that this kind of writing is typically saved for my personal journal but the truth is I don’t feel like writing by hand, I feel like typing, and this is my blog so screw it… I’m running forward with a little more of an expressive blog. Be prepared for a random stream of consciousness, I’m 197 words in and I don’t know where I’m going with this…

I’m experiencing some sort of creative block and I’m having a problem holding a thought… I’m having a problem making a decision. I’m always told, “writers, write.” So, I’m writing. I’m trying to figure out why I’m so scrambled and wondering if anyone else gets like this and I’m also curious if there really is a thing as “writers block” or a “creative block.”

Logic tells me that you can push through these things, I kind of feel that only the weak minded should settle for anything that’s associated with a “block” and I feel like there are ways around it – change of scenery, music, food, sleep, etc… But is that true, and why am I calling myself weak minded? I feel that writing this is somehow going to help me out and help me focus a bit, I just need a kick-start to my brain.

Getting back to decisions for a minute: Why are they so important? When dealing with myself, my issue at this moment in time is that I cannot make a decision. I cannot settle on exactly what I want to work on and there are many variables going into these lack of decisions. I haven’t really made a proactive decision in 2 days and in turn I ended up doing basically nothing, and I think that’s important because it’s clearly a mirror to something much bigger.

I always think about the small decisions in life and at times I’m obsessed with the origin of situations. When talking to my friends I’m always curious as to how someone got to the point they’re currently at because it’s always interesting to pinpoint those few decisions that made someone enter their specific world. Sometimes it’s scary to think about what would have been had you chose X over Z, but that’s life, and it’s something that I think is a tad bit underrated.

(If you’re still reading - congratulations… I’m almost done… I know this is all confusing but I hope it’s going somewhere… *hope)

The key to decisions is your confidence and if you truly made it. Did you get bullied or peer pressured into deciding something? Are you making a decision based off of social standards? Do you feel unsure of your decision? Someone should never feel unsure of his or her decision… right?

The more I digest all of this, aside from health, I think that decision and direction are the two most important things for anyone. Direction = What you want. Decision = How you’ll get it. Just be specific and confident and the rest will fall in place.

A wise man once said “I shall seek and I shall find” I find this to be incredibly important, those 7 words sum up everything that (I think) people should be about. Seeking and finding what they want… just make the right decisions getting there.

That’s it, no mas, now that I just attempted to ramble myself into working and making a decision I need to concentrate. I hope that somehow I related to at least one person, I would hate to think I’m in this sort of creative blocked journey on my own.

Enjoy whatever the next small decision is that you make… it may be the biggest thing of your life.

Rebooting Back To The Future.

 

I think I have finally figured it out! After years of tough and long mental thought I have figured out how to move forward and reboot the Back To The Future trilogy… and it came to me in a dream… No, seriously. I’ll hold off on the dream talk for now because we need to get a few things clear.

When I’m talking about Back To The Future I’m bundling all 3 films together because it’s that complete. I’m well aware that the 1st film is the best, the 2nd is arguably as good as the 1st, and the 3rd isn’t nearly as good as either but somehow gets better when you catch it on TV.

Here’s why it’s a brilliant trilogy:

Aside from the obvious things like amazing characters, fun storylines, great writing, great directing, and continuous new imaginative visuals it created a fail safe for itself. When Back To The Future literally went to the future in Part 2 it went to the year 2015, forever sealing its fate in that desired time and location. We currently cannot make a sequel to the film because our modern day (2012) doesn’t look like the conception when it was released in 1989, ie: hover boards, flying cars, and fashion. It’s brilliant, right?

Also, in Part 2 we learned that Marty had kids, was married to Jennifer, and Biffs grandson Griff went to jail (to name a few) - another fail safe. Initial thought is there is no way to make a sequel, say Back To The Future Part 4 because it would look hokey and out of touch. Of course this couldn’t have been the intent of the team behind Back To The Future when they created it but it happened, and it’s awesome.

Here’s what my thoughts have always been about trying to flip this trilogy:

- In order to keep this series going with the same title and characters someone would have to conceivably start from scratch and remake the film with a new Marty, Doc Brown, George McFly, Biff, etc… The problem with this idea is everyone knows it’s to soon to do this and that the original films are still better than almost everything in the world.

- The movie could take place in 1985 picking up from where Part 3 left off but the main issue is that a train murdered the DeLorean and Doc Brown is stuck in the old west. OH, and lets not forget the obvious… Michael J Fox and Doc Brown are older and cannot be in these films.

- Speaking of Doc Brown; maybe Part 4 could start in the Wild West and he could send some cowboys into the future for whatever reason. But, who really wants to start a film in the Wild West?

- At the end of Part 3 when Jennifer’s fax disappears stating “you’re fired” she asks Doc what the deal is and Doc says: “the future has not been written yet” – Oh shit! Does that one sentence negate everything above? Did Zemeckis know what he was doing when that line was spoken? What does that mean!?

Quick Side Note: I feel like this is a good random stopping point to point out that I don’t know why everything needs to be rebooted or remade. Honestly, I don’t know why I can’t leave this alone, well, yes I do. I loved this series and deep down I want to pay homage to it. I know that someone is going to redo this movie and trilogy and I want it to be me. Moving on…

Back to my dream and my Back To The Future solve. Remember in Part 1 when Doc Brown was shot by the Libyans at the Twin Pines mall and was talking about plutonium? Also, remember that Marty was recording him? In fact, Marty brought the videotape with him to 1955 to show doc he knew about the flux compacitor. Well, that footage is key to keeping everything moving forward.

In my dream a group of current day kids found the footage from Doc Brown and Marty (along with footage we’ve never seen in the films) and learned how to build a time machine, and not just from a DeLorean but from anything because they know what makes time travel possible… The Flux Compacitor.

The beauty of Doc filming himself in the first film opens up the idea completely and it’s totally logical he was in YouTube mode filming himself stating what he needs to do to time travel. Doc was essentially making a running diary of his work, thus throwing all of his knowledge to future time travelers.

The kids would then reference the footage, create a time machine, and proceed to go on their own adventure, and on this adventure they could maintain the integrity of the series and also reference things like Hill Dale, the clock tower, Marty and Jennifer, Biff, hover board… basically everything from the original that’s cool.

Major issue: The flying fucking cars in the future that we don’t have in current day. The solve: Doc Brown was the catalyst behind the flying and much of the technology that we saw in Part 2 but he just didn’t know it (this would also explain how he created a flying train in Part 3). But since Doc isn’t around because he went back to the Wild West the flying car hasn’t hit the scene… yet (but could be referenced in the video tapes).

Also, lets not forget Doc’s crazy ass “the future has not been written yet” line and plug that in when we need to. Is this line a cop out? Yes. But my entire plot hinges on that line and the videotape footage.

And BOOM, we have a reboot and a semi sequel to the films! But wait, just like Back To The Future there’s one more option -

My dream also consisted of a low budget version of Back To The Future – seriously. That low budget modern day version is a found footage approach, which still revolves around Doc’s videotapes but takes place in 1985. This version takes place during the time that Marty heads back to the past in Part 1 when the Libyans shot Doc.

The major flaw to this is that Marty took the video camera with him, but I’m sure there is some kind of work around to that. How cool is a found footage time travel movie?

What this all boils down to is that in order to reboot this franchise and not fuck things up we need Doc’s footage, it’s the spine to everything, its like the flux compacitor. In my dream it seemed perfect. With this footage we can move forward to open a new adventure for a new group of kids and integrate the old crew.

Does this sound crazy?

In my perfect world this franchise would go untouched, but that’s not reality. We’re in that zone where it’s easier to just retool and reboot everything under the sun due to the built in audience and financial return. Also, we’re getting to a point where the people that are taking over and can make these decisions were fan boys of the original series and if someone has the opportunity to redo this thing, it’s going to happen.

Truthfully, I want to make this movie and when I pitched the idea to someone they thought I was crazy and couldn’t be done. Screw crazy, Doc Brown was crazy and he made a time machine out of a DeLorean. If someone reads this and has the immediate power to get a reboot in motion don’t F things up.

(Arrogant) Packer Fan Prediction.

And so it begins. Yesterday the NFL released their regular season schedule and I can’t help but speculate on what the Packers season is going to look like and anticipate the season. I’m excited to play Monday morning quarterback and somehow be smarter than the coaches for 5 or 6 days, it just feels right.

As I looked over the regular season schedule I started to feel a bit arrogant and realized that I’ve been spoiled for 2 years. I need to remind myself that The Packers division has gotten a bit stronger and it may be foolish of me to sleep on some teams (Bears, Lions, not you Vikings). The strong division is a good thing. In Wisconsin I knew this old disgruntled coach that loved playing stronger teams because he’d say “It’ll keep you honest” and that’s all I can hope for The Packers this year… They stay honest.

Without further adieu I give you the most accurate (bias) prediction I possibly can. You don’t need to watch a single game this season because this is how the Green Bay Packers season will unfold:

Week 1: 49ers at PACKERS: Packers win 27-17 to open the season. Randy Moss scores 2 touchdowns and we remember he’s playing again. Aaron Rodgers is currently considering bringing back his championship belt move. By the way, last year I realized how many 49ers fans I have and that scares me.

Record: 1-0

Week 2: Bears at PACKERS: Packers have been in the heads of the Bears players for 3 years now. Although I’m always scared of the Bears in some weird Midwestern way the Packers win 20-13.

Record: 2-0

Week 3: PACKERS at Seattle: Matt Flynn does his best A Rodg impression but unfortunately A Rodg does his best Matt Flynn VS Detroit impression. Packers win in some kind of shootout.

Record: 3-0

Week 4: Saints at PACKERS: Any single joke about the Saints and their insanely mentally fucked up team could work here. This game is a shoot out but the mentally complete Packers win 45-31.

Record: 4-0 and Aaron Rodgers was just named player of the month.

Week 5: PACKERS at Colts: Peyton Manning hangover. Packers win.

Record: 5-0

Week 6: PACKERS at Texans: Uh oh, do I sense a stumbling block from the seemingly always-pesky Texans? Yeah, actually I do, but I sense a win in the 4th quarter.

Record: 6-0

Week 7: PACKERS at Rams: Sam Bradford is to busy admiring what a good team looks like. Packers win 30-10

Record: 7-0 and everyone starts recognizing how easy their schedule has been.

Week 8: Jaguars at PACKERS: Blaine Gabbert is picked off 5 times and Aaron Rodgers is the official front-runner for MVP.

Record: 8-0

Week 9: Arizona at PACKERS: I see this game turning into a shootout that Aaron Rodgers comes away winning 31-24 and I officially begin to worry that this schedule is way to easy.

Record: 9-0

Week 10: BYE WEEK: My buddy Ottford and I brag to each other about how good the Packers are but we’re both worried about their awesome record and don’t acknowledge that they were 9-0 the previous year. We’re trying to avoid a jinx, but then I try to reverse the jinx by saying they may lose and Ottford proceeds to get pissed at me.

Record: Still 9-0 and narrowly escaped a jinx.

Week 11: PACKERS at Detroit: Matthew the Staffinfection is having a killer year, he’s somehow managed to stay healthy and the Lions are still fun to watch. Megatron will exploit the Packers for 2 touchdowns but we’re still in their heads. Packers win.

Record: 10-0

Week 12: PACKERS at Giants: I get to the bar early for this game and decide I’m going to pace myself… by halftime I’m drunk. Fortunately the Packers win this game; unfortunately everyone knows that Eli Manning is waiting for the post season to win another Super Bowl. This win almost means nothing but fortunately it’s against a good team.

Record: 11-0

Week 13: Vikings at PACKERS: Thank God we’re in Green Bay because the Metrodome is contemplating breaking down. If the Packers lose this game it’s only because Adrian Peterson runs for 200+ yards… But they win by a lot.

Record: 12-0

Note: I’m getting worried because this is very similar to last year.

Week 14: Lions at PACKERS: Upset Alert! WTF!? Detroit wins 27-24 and Packer fans are starting to realize that their secondary is still depleted… like last year. Packer fans are starting to worry about the Lions… like last year. Congratulations Stafford.

Record: 12-1

Week 15: PACKERS at Bears: Truth be told I’m worried. I think the Packers are a bit bruised from their loss last week and what’s even scarier is that Jay Culter is clicking with Brandon Marshall. My worries manifest into reality and I feel that I cause this loss. ESPN goes crazy stating it’s been nearly 2 years since the Packers lost back to back games.

Record: 12-2 

Week 16: Titans at PACKERS: Pissed and on a mission the Packers try to get their grove back, somehow. They’ve been exploited in their secondary and honestly I don’t think their running game is looking too good… If this were a better team that may matter. Packers win 35-20

Record: 13-2

Week 17: PACKERS at Vikings: Vikings don’t have a chance. The Packers are playing to win their division with style. Aaron Rodgers passes for over 400 yards and enters into the post season with a first round bye.

Regular season record: 14-2

Can’t really pinpoint what happens from here but all I can think and say is that they have to avenge their 2011 season. I’m already worried that they some how get bounced in the playoffs like last season.

I think the main issue is that I have to remind myself that the Packers hit a great streak in 2010-2011, when they won the Super Bowl, and I can’t expect that every year - now they have a bullseye on their backs like the Patriots.

Fuck it. They win the Super Bowl.

2013 Super Bowl Champions: GREEN BAY PACKERS

Random thoughts: Rodgers absolutely brings back the belt. Clay Matthews shocks the world with a short haircut. The Packers develop a running game. Donald Driver comes in 2nd on Dancing with the Stars.

Stooges

What happened? What happened to my (former) favorite comedy brothers Peter and Bobby Farrelly akaThe Farrelly brothers? These two guys served the world two of the greatest comedies in the span of 5 years: Dumb & Dumber and There’s Something About Mary. They made slapstick comedy funny, they sort of defined Ben Stiller, they added fuel to the Jim Carrey fire, and they officially put Cameron Diaz on the map… okay not officially, The Mask did, but at least we knew she was funny.

It took me a minute to realize that they have another movie coming out tomorrow: The Three Stooges. I reminded myself the brothers were the guys behind Stooges and I felt bad for them. I’m never one to just dismiss someone’s work and judge something before I see it but my initial feeling is that this doesn’t look…err… good.

Anyone I’ve talked to is utterly confused about the Stooges reboot and the truth is, it’s getting harder to defend the Farrelly’s. I’m getting worried their time has come and gone, and it’s starting to seem as though people have lost faith in them. As I write this I’m well aware that I’m being very kind and I know people have lost faith in them, but I always want to defend them, I MUST, they fucking created Dumb & Dumber!

I don’t know if it’s easy to pinpoint the exact moment their movies took a turn for the worse. I feel that everyone kind of has an idea of when it happened but lets look back on the movies of the Farrelly’s. We’re going to start with awesome and work our way to current day…

The Farrelly Status:

1994: Dumb & Dumber – How awesome could this script have been to get Jim Carrey attached. At the time Carrey was coming off Ace Ventura and The Mask, and this movie just pushed him over the edge to be the first actor ever paid 20 million for a movie. I don’t need to talk about this movie any more.

Farrelly Status: These guys are on top of the world.

1996: Kingpin – Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray. Who really needs anything else in a movie? This movie coined a term I break out only to the worthy “Munsoned.” Was this movie as good as D&D, no, but this is still a pretty damn good follow up.

Farrelly Status: Still on top of the world.

1998: There’s Something About Mary – What an amazing movie. My buddy talked to me about how this is a perfect comedy and perfect script, he argued that this should have been nominated for an Oscar, and I think he’s right. This was such a hilarious film it blew up Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz. I would argue that this was the start of the whole Ben Stiller vibe - unassuming guy put in a really shitty situation. This was better than Kingping and made more money than D&D.

Farrelly Status: On the way way top of the world.

2000: Me Myself and Irene – I saw this movie with my friend Gerald and we laughed our asses off. Jim Carrey was back and he was as funny as ever, but a weird thing happened when this movie came out – It wasn’t the highest grossing comedy of the year, which everyone thought it would be, Scary Movie was. The Wayans outshined the Farrelly’s and Jim Carrey. For whatever reason this movie didn’t click like the others. One could argue this was the slight decline of the Farrelly’s… and maybe even Jim Carrey.

Farrelly Status: At this moment they’re not on top of the world anymore, just in the clouds.

2001: Osmosis Jones – Osmosis Jones!? Oh yeah, they did an animated movie. The movie BOMBED, but you have to wonder if you can blame them because it was animated. I feel that all directors who don’t specialize in animated films should sort of get a pass when they fuck up their first one; it’s the second one you have to worry about.

Farrelly Status: They’re falling below the clouds right now… but maybe it was the animation!

2001: Shallow Hal – Shallow Jack Black gets Tony Robbins-ed and sees women in a different light, specifically Gwyneth Paltrow. There was a backlash to this movie, due to the insensitive nature - it also wasn’t incredibly funny. Maybe it was Jack Black or the general idea of the movie, but something was off.

Farrelly Status: The guys are coming back down to earth right now but it’s difficult to get a gauge on them because their movies are so out there (in a good way).

2003: Stuck on You – Wait… Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear did a movie and the premise was “Conjoined twins from Martha’s Vineyard move to Los Angeles so that one of them can pursue an acting career.” WHAT!? This is where it changed for me. I remember wanting to like this movie but I just couldn’t. Bad movie that wasn’t well received.

Farrelly Status: The Farrelly’s are officially back down to earth (but still give them some credit for being out there! Right?)

Quick side note about this movie: This says a lot about the faith actors had in the Farrelley’s. It’s not as though Damon and Kinnear were unknown.

2005: Fever Pitch – And then there was this movie. Somewhat of an anomaly because they had to change the entire script midway through because the Boston Red Sox were about to win the World Series and this premise somehow hinged on the Sox.

The good thing about this movie: It was back to somewhat of a grounded tone but the bad is that it wasn’t well received. I feel that there was this lingering question that mayyybe this movie could have been better if the whole Red Sox thing didn’t screw things up, could it be? All I know is that young Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore were in this and I don’t know if they had any chemistry. It was a good try.

Farrelly Status: The Farrelly’s haven’t moved from being back down to earth, they’re just walking around now.

2007: The Heartbreak Kid – Remember this movie? Ben Stiller and Malin Ackerman. It’s about a guy who essentially shacks up with the wrong girl and realizes it on his honeymoon. Truthfully, I vaguely remember liking this movie and I kind of wish it did better. I feel that at this moment in time the Farrelly’s had been beaten around and realized they kind of needed to get their groove back, so they went back to Stiller in a Romantic Comedy.

Although this movie wasn’t bad it didn’t do well at the box office which tell us that either a) I’m an idiot and the movie sucked or b) the Farrelly’s lost their mojo entirely. I’m going to go with letter b because it made over $100 million worldwide.

Farrelly Status: The brothers are officially searching for a hit, still on the ground and have been surpassed time and time again by other comedic directors.

2011: Hall Pass – I’m going to stand by this statement: Awesome premise but a shitty movie. When I heard about this and that it’s about husbands getting a “hall pass” from their wife, I though this was going to be awesome. Not to mention it had Owen Wilson and Jason Sudekis. But, it wasn’t awesome and the entire time I was watching I was hoping it would just get better.

This film was as though you could see the grown up Farrelly brothers. As if you could see the transformation of guys who probably have families now and are a tad bit out of touch with what made them so great in the first place.

Farrelly status: They’ve become the guys who we all hope that they remember what they’re capable of. But hey, at least they can only go up from here. Oh wait…

2012: The Three Stooges – At one point Jim Carrey, Benecio Del Toro, and Sean Penn were attached to this movie. Can you fucking imagine that!? I’ve got to hand it to the guys for sticking with this film after it went through developmental hell but if the trailers are any indication of what’s to come then I’m scared.

So, it’s the stooges with 1940’s sensibility stuck in 2012? They still poke people in the eyes? I want to shake the Farrelly’s and tell them that they were the guys who elevated slapstick in the 1990’s and now in 2012 they’re regressing! You can’t go backwards! This isn’t fashion! You gotta move forward man…forward!

The only other time I’ve felt so opposed to a film is when the Smurfs was released in 2011 … and it ended up making $560 million worldwide…

Farrelly Status: Rock. Fucking. Bottom.

2013: Dumb & Dumber part 2:

Dear Farrelly brothers,

I don’t care about the missteps you’ve had in the past. Honestly you’ve had a string of bad luck and maybe people don’t understand you, maybe you still are the duo that I thought you once were. Let me tell you something, next year you’re going to make a sequel to one of the top 10 comedies of all time and no matter what, I’m going to see it on opening weekend. If you put the movie in 3D and have a cameo from the Stooges I’m going to be sitting with my popcorn watching this movie.

I say this to you out of love: If you pull off this movie I will forgive you for everything, and so will everyone else. Yes, everything.

Truly yours,

Josh

Future Farrelly Status: Back on Top.